BAN THIS SICK FILTH! New 'Explore the Void' image offends

5:00 AM on 09.02.2009

Jonathan Holmes

Editor-in-Chief

God, what happened? Up until now, the updates on explorethevoid.com have been powerfully, but tastefully erotic. When the site first unveiled itself, I became so overwhelmed with lust that I almost needed to be locked up by Tracy Ullman (link NSFW). A big part of that boner-quake came from the way the site handled its explicit content. All the really dirty stuff was obscured from being seen directly, like in a classic bird-burlesque show. That's the kind of tease that gets you going, but doesn't make you feel guilty about it.

The second image (which debuted on Monday) started to push the boundaries of class a bit, but remained modest enough to keep me from feeling like I was looking at (ick) pornography. That's all been ruined with Tuesday's update. Apparently the days of "using your imagination" and "showing just enough skin to make them wonder" are over, replaced with some of the most depraved, vulgar, hardcore sexual imagery I've ever seen (and that's saying a lot, considering I work on the internet). With this update, explorethevoid.com has gone from being as raucously sexy, but decidedly upscale tome of erotica, to an outright deviant and borderline illegal bastion of filth and depravity.

If you're turned on by the image above, you're a bad person and I hate you. That said, if you say you're not turned on by the image above, you're lying to yourself and will never be truly happy. Denial is the ultimate sign of weakness, my friend. Either accept your gross, bad, and gross sexual needs, or give up on ever enjoying life.

Again, I hate you.

 

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