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Señor Luigi Santa-Rosa Bacalao, our intrepid video game connoisseur from Havana Cuba, is a man who loves American flavors. He spit-cleans his 1958 Buick Special (he only owns a fender, so far) hand-oils his 1897 J.W. Emerson stand-up 3-way oscillating fan, and the smell of opulant capitalism: sixty five George Washingtons concealed in deep in mattress -- almost enough to restore the M24 Chaffee he dug up in the yard.
 
Luigi also loves another great import from Uncle Sam: ghetto-ass boxing. It reminds him of the days when his father would beat him and lock him in a yard full of fighting roosters for the entertainment and financial support from spectating neighbors. It was all fun and educational until the 2-year old lightweight phenomenon began biting off the heads of chickens and threatened to defecate and rape people's wives, adopting advanced boxing techniques from American heavyweight champions. Years later Mike Tyson's Punch-Out! found it's way into his office and has rekindled his love of boxing, black women, and their furious fighting spirit.
 

Continue: More Bacalao Bitch! stories





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28 comments | showing # 1 to 28

SnakeDude4Life's Avatar
SnakeDude4Life at 06/22/2009 17:04
meh.
SRCisFriday's Avatar
SRCisFriday at 06/22/2009 17:06
Not as funny as the two others, but entretaining anyway
sickNasty's Avatar
sickNasty at 06/22/2009 17:09
no.
AlienGuy18's Avatar
AlienGuy18 at 06/22/2009 17:19
I could go for some Platanos right now...
FalconReaper's Avatar
FalconReaper at 06/22/2009 17:26
I was expecting something more hilarious but I guess this'll do
Kyousuke Nanbu's Avatar
Kyousuke Nanbu at 06/22/2009 17:54
Absolutely terrible.
ArrestedDeveloper's Avatar
ArrestedDeveloper at 06/22/2009 18:09
I liked it better when that guy was singing Gasolina.
Naim Master's Avatar
Naim Master at 06/22/2009 18:26
Awfull .
Magnalon's Avatar
Magnalon at 06/22/2009 18:27
I was standing in a 45 minute security line at LAX after E3, and I asked the guys in front of me "so, what did you think of E3?"

One of them was Bacalao: it was pretty badass.
Monodi's Avatar
Monodi at 06/22/2009 18:55
I think this satire won't work in this page as many don't seem to share the culture with latin americans, it is really funny to listen to his lexic while comprehending the spoken spanish.
HiddenAHB's Avatar
HiddenAHB at 06/22/2009 19:52
God, i have a ok spanish for reading, but when there is talking... the shit hits the fan.
Bacalao isn't drugged enough in this video, give him more good ol' coke.
Rednax's Avatar
Rednax at 06/22/2009 20:00
¡Dios que horror!,¿por que los cubanos hablan tan mal es español?...por cierto no es gracioso
Eagle 88's Avatar
Eagle 88 at 06/22/2009 20:28
What's with the fan? Otherwise, meh.
peachboy's Avatar
peachboy at 06/22/2009 20:44
yeah, i'll pass too.
megaStryke's Avatar
megaStryke at 06/22/2009 21:07
I love those little things, like the Spanglish "crazy glue" bit. And was he about to eat a raw plantain! Ha ha!

I love these, but I guess you just gotta have the right background to appreciate it.
Tubatic's Avatar
Tubatic at 06/22/2009 21:13
lol I can dig it. :)
Vitamin Awesome's Avatar
Vitamin Awesome at 06/22/2009 21:15
Well, I Enjoyed it.
Gten's Avatar
Gten at 06/22/2009 21:18
lol is way funnier if u know spanish

@rednax maybe u find it as bad spanish because u are not from the Caribbean cuz srsly shit is hilarious
SpilledMilk's Avatar
SpilledMilk at 06/22/2009 21:31
I love it. Just to keep it real, though, the two previous ones were better.
Char Aznable's Avatar
Char Aznable at 06/23/2009 08:45
To the people saying that it's better if you understand Caribbean Spanish, could you please elaborate? I'm not insulting the guy, I'm just curious about what jokes are being lost in translation or flying over my head.
Exquisitor's Avatar
Exquisitor at 06/23/2009 10:51
To all the assholes who say this is crap: lets see you do better.

Seriously though... keep making these, they're awesome.
GECKO's Avatar
GECKO at 06/23/2009 10:56
HAHAHA!! AZUCAAA!!!
stafax's Avatar
stafax at 06/23/2009 20:53
@ Exquisitor
Just because someone can't do something better, doesn't mean they can't like something.

I have no clue how to build, or even fix a car, but I know when a car is horrible.

I can hardly cook without a recipe, but I know when food tastes aweful.

I can't film a movie, but I know when a movie wasted 2 hours of my time.

I'm not a stand up comedian, but I don't require a math formula to figure out if a stand up comic made me laugh or not.

Telling someone "I would like you see you do better" is the dumbest, most arrogant shit in the world. Did you tell Jim Sterling that you want to see him make a better game than inFamous after he reviewed it? I highly doubt you did. And unless you say that to every reviewer that doesn't give an outstanding review to every game, then you're a hypocrite.

=)
NihonTiger90's Avatar
NihonTiger90 at 06/24/2009 01:25
I like it.
GECKO's Avatar
GECKO at 06/24/2009 01:58
@stafax... Do you have friend?
iconsam's Avatar
iconsam at 06/24/2009 20:09
Dude, I love these. LUIGI SANTA ROSA BACALAO!
GohanGVO's Avatar
GohanGVO at 06/25/2009 11:57
CUBAN SLASH!!!
Naim Master's Avatar
Naim Master at 06/26/2009 22:16
@gecko
Now he has at least one , wich already makes him clearly win over you .
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