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Bacalao! Punch-Out!

Jun 22 // R3Y GUTI3RR3Z

 
Señor Luigi Santa-Rosa Bacalao, our intrepid video game connoisseur from Havana Cuba, is a man who loves American flavors. He spit-cleans his 1958 Buick Special (he only owns a fender, so far) hand-oils his 1897 J.W. Emerson stand-up 3-way oscillating fan, and the smell of opulant capitalism: sixty five George Washingtons concealed in deep in mattress -- almost enough to restore the M24 Chaffee he dug up in the yard.
 
Luigi also loves another great import from Uncle Sam: ghetto-ass boxing. It reminds him of the days when his father would beat him and lock him in a yard full of fighting roosters for the entertainment and financial support from spectating neighbors. It was all fun and educational until the 2-year old lightweight phenomenon began biting off the heads of chickens and threatened to defecate and rape people's wives, adopting advanced boxing techniques from American heavyweight champions. Years later Mike Tyson's Punch-Out! found it's way into his office and has rekindled his love of boxing, black women, and their furious fighting spirit.
 

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