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Awkward Panda brings awkward fiction to life in Minecraft

2:50 AM on 04.29.2011 // Niero Desu

[In this week's community corner, Dtoider Donnie Kicklighter tells us what inspired his amazing Minecraft Machinima. Email addresses have been changed to protect to the stupid.]

Donnie writes: I was at work one day when I found out that one of my coworkers was really into writing. I'm something of a writer myself, so I asked him one day about his work. He told me that he was about to publish his debut novel and he was currently working on his second. I was really impressed and asked if I could read some of his work. He promised he would bring in his manuscript.

3 weeks went by with no manuscript. Finally I caught up to him and told him to just email it to me and handed him my address. Another 3 weeks passed and I gave him my address at least 3 more times. Finally, I get the email. So, you know how it normally says "First Name Last Name" then ?

I had apparently just received an email from someone named "Vampire Killer".


Here's the original script.  Yes, its just one sentence.


The Dark Hunter having battled vampires and the undead in the name of his family name fought many powerful beings of chaos one day he meet a beautiful vampire named Mina Talla the two fought together against thre vampire king,Danacus As time went on they fell in love spend a new life together living happily together he fathered a child,a beautiful girl named Illyanna Talla Belmont on Like relationships a bad moon would hover Dark Hunter his selfish desires and stupidity would cost him to lose the love of his life to foolish things As time went on he trained vigoriously always watching over them he wishes to redeem himself in time he won her over gained her trust again they were happy again he spent more time with his daughter but the darkness in his soul beckoned for more he went to land of Adia to purify his soul of darkness battling fiends ranging from cyclops to undead knights weary from many trials he pressed forward making his way to the castle then he sensed the demon king,Irkalla was after his former love,Mina Talla He rushed back home to find Irkalla in the midst wielding his cursed vampire killer due to his dark powers He challenged the demon to protect his family,Mina And llyanna from Irkalla The battle began at the ruins of an old castle waging powers of good and evil there battled lasted long but Hunter unaware of Irkalla's true intentions:The demon king fells the hunter sending him into the abyss where he is tortured and becomes an eternal knight Evil Lurks in the Shadows Sword of the Dark Hunter stands thrusted into the foreground of EvermoreTower a clouded mist surrounds the once battleground of Dark Hunter and Demon King Irkalla for he was never killed but imprisoned On a cold restless night creatures of the night are stirring the winds cry out in horror a glyph forms on the very spot under the blade widens the clouds overshadow the moon which is dyed in blood rain pours down heavily then suddenly stops as the winds grow fierce the powers of darkness are gathered within this defied battleground the demons shriek in horror In the countryside of Transylvania near the Tower of Evermore,A legend is fortold of a Belmont that will fall in battle and succumb into darkness He will manifest into a Eternal Knight,a mix breed of demon and vampires On the day of Walpurgis, Evil rises,the forces of good mysteriously start to weaken thus the power of darkness begins to revive itself In the bowels of Hell,A dark hunter is being tortured into a eternal knight feeling pain and anquish evil in his soul death on his mind infused new power flowing through his veins cries out a flash of darkened energy pushes away his torturers eyes grow black and red ascends into the human world as the cloaked demonic priest give rise to the dark hunter they bow humbily in respect and alligience to him Dark Hunter grabs his sword from the ground smirks lops off the head of one of the priest the others cry out in horror summons blood death the remaining priests' body implodes blood splattering all over Dark Hunter no conscience and little memories of his past only the desire for bloodshed his mind full of hatred looks to the Belmont/Talla residents in Syberia.


The author didn't actually intend for the text to be a joke, he assured my partner that it was sitting on a publisher's printing press right now. In that way, it's technically not fanfiction, but with the liberal references (that is to say blatant ripoff) to pretty much the entire Castlevania series, that's the best classification we've found.


Niero Desu, Blogsmith
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