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Attention everyone who is buying Left 4 Dead: I have dibs on Zoey
2:06 PM on 11.20.2008, Hamza CTZ Aziz 68 comments

Attention everyone who is buying Left 4 Dead: I have dibs on Zoey photo
     Left 4 Dead
Left 4 Dead has been out for a few days now and no doubt many of you have been plowing through hordes of the undead. I adore anything that has to do with zombies and have long planned out my zombie apocalypse survival plan.

I highly respect my fellow editors and would make sure they all were safe during the inevitable day when the dead rise back from their graves, as per my plans. So I’m very happy to see that Anthony, Jim and Conrad all choose Bill, Louis and Francis, respectively. For had they picked my beloved Zoey, well, the sh*t would have hit the fan.

I have dibs on Zoey.

Zoey clearly offers up something the other characters don’t and I believe I’m the only one who truly sees Zoey for the amazing character that she is. Hit the jump to see why I have dibs on Zoey.

This video has moved! Try our Destructoid HD Youtube channel

It really turns me on watching Zoey get forced on to the ground and mauled everytime. Yeah, that's pretty much my only reason. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Yup. 


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pendelton21's Avatar
pendelton21 at 11/20/2008 14:09
Does no one care about picking Zitz? I need someone to play Battletoads with me...
Wedge's Avatar
Wedge at 11/20/2008 14:09
I totally didn't see this coming.

Totally.

Best article EVAR.
Pacopaco's Avatar
Pacopaco at 11/20/2008 14:10
Short and to the point. I respect that.
Hamza CTZ Aziz's Avatar
Hamza CTZ Aziz at 11/20/2008 14:10
Many thanks to The Young Scot for the video assist.
SuperD1984's Avatar
SuperD1984 at 11/20/2008 14:12
http://ww2.zombieinitiative.org/

^^ Vital Zombie apocolypse guide ^^
Phoenix Gamma's Avatar
Phoenix Gamma at 11/20/2008 14:12
Welp, I guess no one will buy the game since everyone's taken. Now sales will plummet and Valve will have to shut down. Nice work, jerks :(
BlindsideDork's Avatar
BlindsideDork at 11/20/2008 14:14
She is the only character I play as....
pendelton21's Avatar
pendelton21 at 11/20/2008 14:14
Also, gross.
The Young Scot's Avatar
The Young Scot at 11/20/2008 14:15
3am Hamza.


3 am.
NihonTiger90's Avatar
NihonTiger90 at 11/20/2008 14:17
Only Hamza could give that as a reason and have it go on the front page.
Funky Goodness's Avatar
Funky Goodness at 11/20/2008 14:17
Hamza, I must concede defeat to you. This post was pure unbridled [b]genius[/b[.
Face's Avatar
Face at 11/20/2008 14:18
Totally dude, sometimes I forget to rescue her.
Funky Goodness's Avatar
Funky Goodness at 11/20/2008 14:20
My boldtype didn't work. That was weird...
aborto thefetus's Avatar
aborto thefetus at 11/20/2008 14:20
You just like her because she has a vagina :P
The Bez's Avatar
The Bez at 11/20/2008 14:21
Gangbangs, sweet, sweet gangbangs....
BrazeGoesMoo's Avatar
BrazeGoesMoo at 11/20/2008 14:32
I call dibs on Chicago Ted.
lv99ron's Avatar
lv99ron at 11/20/2008 14:34
WOW. Well then. There is a country where you can pay to see that in person. If you pay more you get to take part in the action.
The-Excel's Avatar
The-Excel at 11/20/2008 14:38
So now dibs have been called on all players by Destructoid staff. Just how do you expect any of us to play with you now? Or was this your plan all along to exclude the general population from your regular sessions?
Fusiontr's Avatar
Fusiontr at 11/20/2008 14:39
*Insert Citizen Kane clap here*


I thought I may as well read this, since I've read the rest, and totally didn't expect this

Kudos Mahza
Kudos
DinnertimeNinja's Avatar
DinnertimeNinja at 11/20/2008 14:41
I was hoping the body of the post would consist of nothing but the word, "Boobs" but this is an acceptable alternative.
VengefulPenor's Avatar
VengefulPenor at 11/20/2008 14:44
Now who can we play as?
Tubatic's Avatar
Tubatic at 11/20/2008 14:45
I expected something like this.

But not this.

This is why you are a shark, and we are mere men.

Bravo.
ran24's Avatar
ran24 at 11/20/2008 14:45
haha, I knew whoever picked Zoey was going to justify it somewhere along the lines of "She has tits"
PhazonYoshi's Avatar
PhazonYoshi at 11/20/2008 14:46
Well done :D
Zodiac Eclipse's Avatar
Zodiac Eclipse at 11/20/2008 14:54
LoL, I was gonna say something about dibs my ass you just came in late the day everyone was picking characters, but the article totally made up for it.

Incidentally if you are watching the clip without sound you are missing out.
Mr Wrighty 987's Avatar
Mr Wrighty 987 at 11/20/2008 15:01
undead bukkake cool
RICHARD BLOCKER's Avatar
RICHARD BLOCKER at 11/20/2008 15:02
Zoey's clothes getting ripped off mod in 3.....2.....1...
MatthewRex's Avatar
MatthewRex at 11/20/2008 15:04
All of these Left 4 Dead "dibs" articles have me laughing my ass off. Good show, Dtoid, good show.
king3vbo's Avatar
king3vbo at 11/20/2008 15:17
Vore hound
Credendo's Avatar
Credendo at 11/20/2008 15:29
I always call dibs on Zoey, and don't understand the confusion.

In a zombie flick of the old war veteran the annoying asshole, the black guy, and the hot chick


WHO ALWAYS SURVIVES?!?!?!
ShadeWithin's Avatar
ShadeWithin at 11/20/2008 15:37
I was going to comment on how wrong this is...

but suddenly I feel very aroused.
crxs's Avatar
crxs at 11/20/2008 15:39
>WHO ALWAYS SURVIVES?!?!?!

Depends on if the hot chick has had sex in the movie.
liam2015's Avatar
liam2015 at 11/20/2008 15:50
WIN
Mxyzptlk's Avatar
Mxyzptlk at 11/20/2008 15:53
I blame Japan for this.
Exquisitor's Avatar
Exquisitor at 11/20/2008 16:07
I always chose Zoey as soon as she's available too. The reason? There's a 50% chance that one of my companions is a horny teenager. So when Bill and I are injured and need rescuing, not only do I get helped up, they usually waste a health kit on me as well.
ZekeThePlumber's Avatar
ZekeThePlumber at 11/20/2008 16:14
tits!
Solgrim's Avatar
Solgrim at 11/20/2008 16:23
I saw a ridiculously short blog coming from a mile away. I still lol'ed thanks to that video.
parttimepunk's Avatar
parttimepunk at 11/20/2008 16:33
Wow, congrats, I'm not easily offended. But, I just was, on multiple levels.
It was kinda the song that took me over the edge here. That and targeted zombie violence against women. And that it turns you on. Great joke!

Ok, I'm over it.
Dexter345's Avatar
Dexter345 at 11/20/2008 16:34
Saw this one coming.
Electro Lemon's Avatar
Electro Lemon at 11/20/2008 16:53
Saw Hamza cumming.
exodus1925's Avatar
exodus1925 at 11/20/2008 16:59
Awesome article, awesome.
meronkun's Avatar
meronkun at 11/20/2008 16:59
lol
GohanGVO's Avatar
GohanGVO at 11/20/2008 17:17
*dances*
flaming burrito's Avatar
flaming burrito at 11/20/2008 17:35
hunters definitely get a handful of her
Xhumation's Avatar
Xhumation at 11/20/2008 17:48
...and that's what "full of win" means.

Great video Hamza.
Monodi's Avatar
Monodi at 11/20/2008 18:20
Hahahahhaa
Druid 01's Avatar
Druid 01 at 11/20/2008 18:33
tentacle porn in L4D
F Whipple's Avatar
F Whipple at 11/20/2008 19:08
bahahahahaaha

day = made
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