Note: iOS 9 + Facebook users w/ trouble scrolling: #super sorry# we hope to fix it asap. In the meantime Chrome Mobile is a reach around
hot  /  reviews  /  videos  /  cblogs  /  qposts

Attention, everyone buying L4D2: I have dibs on Nick

4:00 PM on 11.04.2009 // Anthony Burch

Just in case you haven't tried out the Left 4 Dead 2 demo yet, know this: it's good. After I finished writing a three-page diatribe on how the 24 hour delay for the PC demo incontrovertibly proves that Valve hates its customers and is, in fact, a Nazi corporation whose evil surpasses even that of Bobby Kotick's House of Baby Eating, I found myself truly enjoying the new weapons and the final "gauntlet" sequence.

And that can mean only one thing: it's time to start calling dibs.

Last year, I pre-emptively called dibs on Bill. In the months that followed the original Left 4 Dead's release, such dibs-calling served me well: I played as Bill more often than I did not, and the world was a better place for it.

With that in mind, I state the following: I have dibs on Nick.

Hit the jump to see why.

He's an asshole


My first time through the demo, two of my companions died on the way to the safe room. As Coach and I finally shut the door behind us, Nick triumphantly muttered, "Well, at least I made it."

I can respect that.

I don't have to like it -- I don't necessarily agree with it, or condone it -- but I respect it. In a series so famous for encouraging cooperation amongst its players, Nick is a character who seems dead-set against that very behavior. Sure, Francis initially seemed like he might be an asshole in the first Left 4 Dead, but got the more you played alongside him, the more apparent it became that he was just a cuddly phony with a vest and a goatee. By the end of Crash Course, even Louis pokes fun at him without consequence. I dunno if I see that happening with Nick anytime soon, and that interests me (especially when considering how comparatively kind the rest of the survivors appear to be).

Assholes just generally tend to be more entertaining (see: House M.D.).

Dudes in suits killing things = enjoyable


It is an understood law of the universe that if you have a character who is kicking large amounts of ass, they will look immeasurably cooler if you put them in some kind of suit. How memorable would the Reservoir Dogs be if they'd been wearing sweater-vests? How boring would the protagonist in The Killer be if he hadn't been able to run around in a suit and tie for most of the flick?

Actually, I would pay good money to see Reservoir Dogs in sweater vests. But that's not the goddamn point.

Like it or not, the contrast between classy clothing and decidedly non-classy violence is, and shall probably always be, really goddamn cool.

He watches Arrested Development


"Yeah, the guy wearing the $4,000 suit is holding the elevator for the guy who doesn't make that in four months. COME ON!"



Just in case it's been more than forty-eight hours since you watched Left 4 Dead 2's opening cinematic, watch it again. You may notice a few new things. You might find that Ellis, for instance, seems to be the only survivor who ever gets pounced, or jockeyed, or smokered, or anything-ed. You may let out a small chuckle as you consider the fact that Coach, after tossing away the official instructions, begins to take a bite out of a chocolate bar.

Or, you may notice the fact that every single line that comes out of Nick's mouth is the coolest motherfucking shit ever said by anyone.

Seriously, watch it again -- with the possible exception of his exclamatory "Shit!" when Ellis gets attacked by the Jockey, every single word that exits Nick's mouth is immensely quotable. The line about the chocolate helicopter is great, but his gravel-voiced delivery of "looks like there's been a change of plans" is one part Solid Snake and three parts kicking God in the testicles.

Not to mention that you cannot, under any circumstances, convince me that you don't get chills when he growls, "I have not...come this die now." Hell, just typing it gets me to half-mast.

Possibility for a character arc


When one considers Valve's (admittedly vague) promises that Left 4 Dead 2 will include a slightly deeper story than the first game, Nick's relationship to those promises become very interesting. As there will allegedly be more narrative cohesiveness between the five campaigns, I wonder if we'll eventually begin to see Nick become less and less of a selfish asshole as the game goes on.

Of course, "asshole secretly has a heart of gold" is about the most cliched character arc in the history of character arcs, but still -- unless  Coach finds a treadmill and Ellis graduates college in the time between "Dark Carnival" and "Hard Rain," Nick strikes me as the only survivor who could potentially undergo a significant change from the beginning of the game to the end.

He's not Ellis


Somebody's gotta keep that rambling, ign'ant, trucker hat-wearing, punny shirt-having, "kill-all-sonsabitches-that's-MAH-official-'nstructions" schmuck in line, and it might as well be Nick. I'm sure Ellis will eventually grow on me -- his "head-sucking" monologue admittedly made me chuckle -- but I need to illogically and unapologetically hate at least one of the survivors, even if only for a few months. With Left 4 Dead, it was Francis. For Left 4 Dead 2, it'll be Ellis.

Fuck Ellis.

 Setup email comments

Unsavory comments? Please report harassment, spam, and hate speech to our community fisters, and flag the user (we will ban users dishing bad karma). Can't see comments? Apps like Avast or browser extensions can cause it. You can fix it by adding * to your whitelists.

Status updates from C-bloggers

Flegma avatarFlegma
Memo to self: spend your time cleaning before wasting ten or so hours on a cblog you'll end up just scrapping because you're incompetent and incapable of writing on the subject.
Is there an occupation out there for people who want to give up and not worry about shit for a while until they can recompose themselves before going back into society?
Parismio avatarParismio
That test was pretty raw. Some decisions cut deep, some I didnt care for at all. But im satisified with the end result.
Lawman avatarLawman
Torchman avatarTorchman
MeanderBot avatarMeanderBot
People are having serious anthropological discussions about video games and here I am reminding people that they have one more day to get a dumb card I painted:
Sr Churros avatarSr Churros
I just finished this thing here: I'm mostly happy with my results, altough it lacks some stuff like Skyward Sword or Sonic & Knuckles [img][/img]
techsupport avatartechsupport
While I am glad I only paid $15 for it, I bought J-STARS VS+ for one specific reason: to drink some beer and kick ass as Yusuke and Hiei. And in that regard, it delivers. Beer not included.
OverlordZetta avatarOverlordZetta
We can be so weird sometimes. You can easily move on from some of the stuff you might want to remember forever, but then sometimes you just can't let go of trivial things. What's up with that?
ScreamAid avatarScreamAid
I'm in the mood for some feel-good music. Hit me with your best feel-good VGM, people! [youtube][/youtube]
Pixie The Fairy avatarPixie The Fairy
My "Thankful it's over" post is done. Editing it tonight, posting tomorrow. Will there be more last-minute entries? Will Pixie be merciful to Twilight Princess? Will Zetta add words to his entry? Why is bear driving? Who run Bartertown? Stay Tuned!
Parismio avatarParismio
Whelp since i got my ass kicked at snowboarding ive been issued a muscle relaxer today and slept the entire day. Time went by so fast. Is- is this what the phantom cigar is like?
FlanxLycanth avatarFlanxLycanth
What the hell is a Shantae?
OrochiLeona avatarOrochiLeona
Ok you Monday morning motherfuckers, 3 favourite fictional universes you'd like to exist in (The initial iteration of the universe had to be in videogame form) Go.
ChrisHannard avatarChrisHannard
Just ran into my first 'suicide mole rat' in Fallout 4. I'm beginning to think this may not be a 100% accurate, meticulously researched recreation of life after the apocalypse.
KnickKnackMyWack avatarKnickKnackMyWack
Well I just played Undertale. It's a really unique game, but the difficulty in the beginning is a tad intense. Got clobbered once they started throwing three monsters at me at a time and lost a lot of progress... where's Toriel when I need her?
FlanxLycanth avatarFlanxLycanth
What should I do guys?
Solar Pony Django avatarSolar Pony Django
[img][/img] The Freedom Planet Indie Box, for those that were interested. And it looks like a "wild cat" is there too!
James Internet Ego avatarJames Internet Ego
Just 1200 words left to go on my essays. Do I deserve a day off to play Just Cause 3 once I'm done? Yes.
TheAngriestCarp avatarTheAngriestCarp
Elite: Dangerous has some glaring issues, and can occasionally feel kinda bare bones, but I'll be damned if it isn't one of my favorite games in recent memory. Ships are fun to fly, trading is rewarding, and the sound design is absolutely brilliant.
more quickposts



Invert site colors

  Dark Theme
  Light Theme

Destructoid means family.
Living the dream, since 2006

Pssst. konami code + enter

modernmethod logo

Back to Top

We follow moms on   Facebook  and   Twitter
  Light Theme      Dark Theme
Pssst. Konami Code + Enter!
You may remix stuff our site under creative commons w/@
- Destructoid means family. Living the dream, since 2006 -