I came, I saw, I con … spiracy theoried? My debut on Attack of the Show has arrived and, as expected, I came off like a raving lunatic. All part of my plan, you see. My plan that will continue to unfold in my dark closet where I cross out the eyes of presidents with a red Sharpie, crying like an unloved baby while smearing my naked body in peanut butter and reciting ancient Masonic rites. What on earth am I talking about? Just watch the clip above.

I would like to retract one small error. You know, the egregious one about Abraham Lincoln's political career. Just goes to show, you can't always trust the research you read off of Wikipedia ten minutes before you stumble into the studio, high as a kite off of a wicked Diphenhydramine and Kolikodol cocktail. And you heard me right, Destructoid selected Stephen Colbert as the presidential candidate that best represents our political pursuit of happiness through interactive entertainment. Although his application was denied yesterday by the South Carolina Democratic party, we're hoping he'll pick himself up by the bootstraps and soldier on.  You know us, we love an underdog.

We also talked about videogames on the program, but who cares about those? If G4 ever invites me back, it'll be on the odd day when they need "wacky guy" filler. I'll be happy to oblige. Before I get put out to pasture, did I ever mention I love everyone here at Destructoid? From the dedicated Community Bloggers on up to our amazing staff. And God. And Jesus. And the Bible.

Did you know? You can now get daily or weekly email notifications when humans reply to your comments.