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Asteroids movie plot details aren't exactly reassuring photo

I still can't get over the fact that Universal bought the rights to produce a film based on the game Asteroids. No, it wasn't your imagination; that actually happened. I mean, do you really need the Asteroids license to make a compelling movie about space and uh, asteroids? Apparently.

IGN recently scored some choice quotes from Asteroids producer Lorenzo di Bonaventura, and we felt obligated to share them with the rest of you: "It’s funny because people say there's nothing in the game, but that's not entirely right."

"I was attracted to Asteroids, plain and simple, because I think what it tells you is that there's going to be this big thing in space," he said. "We've crafted a really strong, deep mythology for the thing. Without divulging too much about it, it's two lead characters -- two brothers -- who have to go through a seminal experience to figure out their relationship, against this huge backdrop."

You know what the worst part about this is? I can almost guarantee we'll see a videogame adaptation of this videogame-based movie. They'll call it Asteroids: The Movie: The Game.

[Via FilmDrunk]


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29 comments | showing # 1 to 29
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KIHP's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/23/2009 21:34
KIHP
I'm betting there is also a girl who completes the love triangle.
wanderingpixel's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/23/2009 21:34
wanderingpixel
So, the Asteroids are a metaphor for the relationship between two brothers?

...oh dear lord, help us.
D Sane's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/23/2009 21:36
D Sane
Can anyone say "Last Star Fighter?" That's my predictions about the plot.
Miguelcar808's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/23/2009 21:38
Miguelcar808
The Asteroids remake on the PS1 had a plot.
Sadly the only thing memorable about it are the well made FMVs of rocks in space.
Harris Hatsworth's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/23/2009 21:39
Harris Hatsworth
I've always felt the need to have the "deep mythology" of Asteroids explained to me.
DaedHead8's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/23/2009 21:40
DaedHead8
This is a joke right?
bleep's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/23/2009 21:40
bleep
What








The









FUCK?????
eternalplayer2345's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/23/2009 21:48
eternalplayer2345
They really didn't need the asteroids licenses did they? It's not like the game asteroids has a copyright on defending the planet against asteroids. They are just doing this to be dicks.......sigh
Arkhon's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/23/2009 22:00
Arkhon
They'd be better off making a movie based on Pac-man. There's at least some potential for a plot there.
Dexter345's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/23/2009 22:01
Dexter345
I don't think this is a huge deal. Would you have preferred that they stick to the original Asteroids story, and just have somebody flying around in a triangle shooting asteroids for an hour and a half? I welcome any made up deep mythology they can come up with. It will only probably be bad, whereas the alternative would definitely be bad.

That is, unless you say the alternative is not making the movie at all.
taumpytears's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/23/2009 22:02
taumpytears
I am so excited for this movie, seriously I will just live in a movie theater for a week.
ShadokatRegn's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/23/2009 22:18
ShadokatRegn
Not this big battle in space! I love it. I'd watch it if Uwe Boll is responsible for directing it.
blehman's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/23/2009 22:30
blehman
I would play Asteroids: The Movie: The Game.
Sentry's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/23/2009 22:50
Sentry
I've got Street Fighter: The Movie - The Game running on demo over on a Sega Saturn less than fifteen feet away from me.

It's awesome.
Turbofail's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/23/2009 23:36
Turbofail
My hope is that one brother is called "Ast" and the other is called "Eroids". They solve crimes with their comic relief robot while infuriating the hot tempered space commissioner with their crazy antics. The movie posters will have quotes like:
"First they destroyed the dinosaurs - now their surfing high on interstellar cosmic waves - ASTE AND EROIDS are, ASTEROIDS" *metal guitar wails*
Haxan's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/24/2009 00:02
Haxan
Par for the Lorenzo di Bonaventura course.
Chronic Logic's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/24/2009 00:18
Chronic Logic
It's a fucking ship in space pew pewing the shit out of asteroids.

WHAT THE CUNT?!
Los255's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/24/2009 00:32
Los255
If I want the movie Asteroids, I'll watch Deep Impact and Armageddon. Thank you very fucking much.
hpv's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/24/2009 01:19
hpv
Are you guys fucking kidding? I'd KILL to get to make a licensed Asteroids movie! In fact, since they announced this deal I haven't been able to think of a classic game franchise that I'd rather make into a movie if I were in the business of making movies. Just so many directions you could take it and so little existing fiction to constrain you. Plus, there are very few games with a more iconic look to them.

It's just a shame that these tools are going to blow it so badly.
Giraffro's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/24/2009 02:40
Giraffro
I just want to see Official Asteroids figures.
Mr Jonson's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/24/2009 02:42
Mr Jonson
the only text in that game besides the word "Asteroids" is "Insert Coin"

these guys are either visionaries or delusional
GoldenGamerXero's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/24/2009 03:16
GoldenGamerXero
Someone needs to cork this guy's ass before he makes this crap D=
Prince Ghidorah's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/24/2009 09:07
Prince Ghidorah
And where the hell is my Missle Command movie? I've been waiting nearly 30 years for the deep mythology to be explained to me; Whose missles are they? Whose commanding them? Why do they move so slowly?
Matthew Blake's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/24/2009 09:16
Matthew Blake
I swear, as soon as we walk into the theater, all we're going to see is a looping video of Rick Astley. This has to be a joke.
Corak's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/24/2009 10:26
Corak
This is Hollywood folks. You get a few gems a year and the rest is utter and complete garbage.
Jon B's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/24/2009 12:06
Jon B
We've crafted a really strong, deep mythology for the thing


On the flip side, if this is anything like the Fifth Element, I'll take 15 copies.
Holyetheline's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/24/2009 12:28
Holyetheline
It sounds riveting.
vonStemmington's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/25/2009 13:30
vonStemmington
This sounds absolutely atrocious.

But on the topic of Asteroids: The Movie: The Game, that reminds me of a novelisation I saw of Beowulf, based on the CGI movie. I vomited.
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