[Every week (until I get bored), Art Juice takes a recent videogame story and provides an unremittingly artistic slant, telling us a little something about ourselves in the process ... whether we want to know the truth or not!]

There has been a lot of talk about videogames and homosexuality lately, and much argument has sparked around the idea of a gay videogame hero. One common argument brought up in the discussion is, "Why does it have to be gay? Why not female, or black, or disabled?" 

People forget that changing a subject does not invalidate an argument, but they say it anyway because they know they can score a cheap agreement. After all, why not have more black or hispanic characters? Why not a transgendered person, more women, people with disabilities? Why not have all these issues bundled up into one character?

Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the ULTIMATE videogame protagonist, a Swiss army knife of sociopolitical commentary. In the future, ALL videogame characters will look like this, and it will be glorious.

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