Announcing our new Destructoid editors: Florian Eckhardt and Eliza Gauger

In 2006, two of the greatest voices in video game blogging were lost in a freak Wiring accident. We mourned, but everything happens for a reason. By the great power of Chtulhu and advances in robotics, these two enigmas now return to finish what they started.

You know them from Kotaku. You've read them on Wired. Ladies and gentlemen, I'm happy to announce new associate editors Eliza Gauger and John Brownlee will now be writing for Destructoid, starting immediately next week (barring outbreaks of Ebola and bathtub electrocution). I'm sure that many of you missed reading them as I did, so if you can imagine me making-out with myself then you'll understand how happy we are to have them. They merely demanded the blood of thousand eagles and my vintage collection of underage Chris Furniss polaroids, which I gladly accepted.

Mr. Destructoid would also like to introduce the fetal adoption of their art + culture blog: Ectoplasmosis into our growing influential network of Japanese tentacle porn and unaffordable gadgetry. If the idea of a fat Wonder Woman and 1,500 Filipino prisoners performing Thriller isn't exciting enough to fill your morning, you can stop by for deep discounts on used panties.

Dear gaming industry: please brace yourselves to enjoy the new size of our collective testicles.