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Ambient Quest; apathy is the new nihilism photo

The history of Britain is a rich tapestry woven out of the hairs of unicorns, the blood of dragons, and the beards of the Irish. This charming Olde World culture has contributed a great many valuable concepts to the whole of humanity's evolution, but an idea posited by Mark Eyles, a researcher at the University of Portsmouth, at this year's Women in Games conference, completely negates the value of anything the English have ever contributed. The American government is in talks to have them stricken from our history books (much like the aforementioned unicorns), and France has agreed to a baguette embargo upon the UK, at least until they draw and quarter Mr. Eyles for his utterly blasphemous plans.

Mark Eyles proposes that people's everyday lives should translate into accomplishments in a role-playing game of his own design. For instance, as people walk along, shop for groceries and collect materia in their real-world lives, they gain the ability to move, fight monsters and discover items within the game. This way, people don't have to be actively engaged in the game to succeed, which would be a marked change from titles in which a person has to spend hours and hours passively interacting with a television and controller.

My favorite part of the above-linked Gamespot article regarding Mr. Eyles research is the following;

Eyles said that he got the idea for the project--which is part of his PhD research--while he was listening to Brian Eno's album Music For Airports. He said, "I was thinking, if that album was a role-playing game, what would it play like? And on the cover it says 'as ignorable as it is interesting.'"

Mr. Eyles went on to say that he received the inspiration for slicing off his nipple with a razor blade from Pink Floyd's The Wall, and that after listening to The Spice Girls' Wannabe, he had an irresistible urge to "Zing-a-zing-ahhh" ... whatever the hell that means.


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28 comments | showing # 1 to 28

tazarthayoot's Avatar
tazarthayoot at 04/22/2007 02:21
See when I think of slicing nipples, my first thought it is always Ichi the Killer.
Mxyzptlk's Avatar
Mxyzptlk at 04/22/2007 02:29
So, what's to stop people from just shaking the pedometer to gain moves? Someone hasn't thought this through very well.

@ tazarthayoot:

I feel the same way about shrimp tempura.
Quilliam Fyre's Avatar
Quilliam Fyre at 04/22/2007 03:00
The picture speaks the truth!
Sir Depressive's Avatar
Sir Depressive at 04/22/2007 03:05
I once thought keeping score may make washing dishes more fun, but couldn't find a way to automatically do it.
Rosseh's Avatar
Rosseh at 04/22/2007 04:35
Billie piper is a gold digging bitch with the shrill voice of a teenage mother.
uptonogood's Avatar
uptonogood at 04/22/2007 04:49
her lips are crooked and her nose is too big.

just saying.
Justice's Avatar
Justice at 04/22/2007 05:00
you dont actually say twats in the USA do you?
Kif 's Avatar
Kif at 04/22/2007 05:38
uptonogood's Avatar
uptonogood at 04/22/2007 05:41
i try to avoid calling anyone a "pussy" or "fag" but i'll call em cunts and queers.
UglyDuck's Avatar
UglyDuck at 04/22/2007 06:19
I think you're being far too harsh Nex. You didn't even give any reasoning why this idea sucks. I'm open to the idea that it MIGHT be crap, but why exactly? As far as i see it, it's just a guy coming up with a pretty average idea and you're trying to milk the hell out of him for puns and kudos... notice how no-one has directly agreed with you so far, only not disagreed.

I think it's a good concept, because i hate spending hours grinding. That being said, I still think it's far too restricting... the number of steps you take? No, that's not enough, it's just a bland concept on its own. Perhaps it could have been based on what web pages you visit or something... It's a good idea, trying to draw parrallels between real life and the game world, but it's too linear. It won't take off.

I wouldn't take any interest in this, but it's far from being as bad as you've made it out to be, Nex.
atheistium's Avatar
atheistium at 04/22/2007 07:19
I used to live by Portsmouth. The university is crappy and very easy to get into :D

Oh btw.. Billie? Please god no :s
Mxyzptlk's Avatar
Mxyzptlk at 04/22/2007 08:03
And it would be incredibly easy to cheat.
brad drac's Avatar
brad drac at 04/22/2007 09:07
Goddamnit nex, admitting the insincerity really undermines many of the possibilities for humour in the comments section. That's really quite inconsiderate.

As for the idea, if I were to say "I've got a great plan to make the world a better place, where I get rid of third world debt, instigate public healthcare for all, improve the education and justice systems, and cure cancer," it might sound like a good thing to happen. Unfortunately, I have not presented any evidence as to how I might actually accomplish this, so my idea amounts to very little.

Also, you really think billie piper > led zeppelin, the beatles and david bowie..? Shit, there's a scrunched up tissue on the floor near my seat that I like more than that shrew...
loquax's Avatar
loquax at 04/22/2007 09:47
I didn't understand a single word of that article. It's a chore trying to separate the satire from the facts.
Niero's Avatar
Niero at 04/22/2007 10:03
Eyebrows is the new Mustache
nademagnet's Avatar
nademagnet at 04/22/2007 10:06
Billy eh? I hit it.

So how much "materia" are we talk'n here? If I walk two blocks down the street to Publix and pick up some mojo chicken a pint of spinach dip and a pack of King's Hawaiian bred would I be able to summon a dragon or something? Or would I be stuck with a damn moogle....
nademagnet's Avatar
nademagnet at 04/22/2007 10:07
ah-hem....

about billy, what I meant to say was that I WOULD hit it, if given the chance. I haven't yet actually hit it... her baby maker that is.
brad drac's Avatar
brad drac at 04/22/2007 10:08
-> Nex: You really want to be sloppy seconds to this guy :


This idea actually just reminded me of a cool game some folks are making called mobzombies. It's a game where you just have to run away from zombies by moving about in the real world. Check out the video on the site, it looks pretty damn fun.

Silverhertz's Avatar
Silverhertz at 04/22/2007 10:25
I dont want to go anywhere near a woman who has slept with chris evans. Hes probablly left some disease on her person that would make me even more ginger than i already am
Pangloss's Avatar
Pangloss at 04/22/2007 10:42
When I read the article title, I thought, "Unfair? Unfair? Who's the fucking nihilist?"

Right afterward "We believe in nossing!" sprang into my head.
Tempus's Avatar
Tempus at 04/22/2007 12:43
First thing England has done right eh? So Codemasters aren't any good, Team 17 etc. You wanna watch what you're writing in the articles. Not everyone has the patience to trawl through and you're sincerely pissing off your British readership.

gg, no re
UglyDuck's Avatar
UglyDuck at 04/22/2007 13:15
Wow, i called someone out and it was ACTUALLY WORTH IT. That's... new.

Of course, the challenge now is discerning sarcasm. Maybe i fell into the trap of calling someone out on something obvious and am being humoured accordingly... but the potential for insult is recursive and thus not worth pursuing.

"And it would be incredibly easy to cheat."
Pedometer + Paint Mixer = Lvl 21887 in Pi seconds, assuming the mixer is set to the frequency of the gross national debt of brazil.

Also, @ Tempus, I dunno about you, but i'm British and i've grown used to American apethy toward my nation, France and every other area of the world connected to a tectonic plate. This obviously excludes the atmosphere, which we're all so delicately protective of now. Point in case, i'm not pissed off.
UglyDuck's Avatar
UglyDuck at 04/22/2007 14:50
Sigh. I guess this means i go back to consuming pink wafers and wishing i had the wit to catch people out with witty sarcasm.

Oh, and just to clarify, I didn't think for one minute that what you were saying about Britain was serious, but the statement i made still applies... i suppose i should have separated them into two separeate sentances, one stating my knowledge of our quintesentially British attitude, the other stating that this didn't relate to your post...

Actually, why the hell am i still talking? I've made a fool of myself already, my job is done. Jesus.
madmatt's Avatar
madmatt at 04/22/2007 15:22
woot, Doctor Who!
UglyDuck's Avatar
UglyDuck at 04/22/2007 15:51
Daylight causes me to come out in a severe form of death, and the night is ruled by the conscienceless and the bored with their caps and their vocalised expletives. I also don't drink alcahol, because i'm 18 and jobless, so spending money on addictions is out of the question. And i like those cameras... you hate them until you need them, and then you realise why you're glad they exist.

Yes, that's right ladies and gentlemen, I took him seriously, again. You see why i'd be a mild form of hell to have a drink with?
winojesus's Avatar
winojesus at 04/22/2007 16:40

billie actually made me feel guilty about wanting to have sex with 15 year olds!
danmed catholicism.
plus she used to suck off a ginger guy, so she's bound to be up for all sorts of dirty stuff.
Ninjajuice66's Avatar
Ninjajuice66 at 04/22/2007 19:03
The Beatles!!
darkcloud's Avatar
darkcloud at 04/22/2007 19:13
I have met Billie Piper, nice lady!
I live in the same town she was born...
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