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Alternate Reality: Time for a new job photo
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[What happens when the World Warrior tournament is over? Once the princess has been saved? Video game characters have to do what many of us are already dealing with -- going around trying to find a job. For his Monthly Musing, AwesomeExMachina shows us what the resumes of some iconic gaming characters might look like. -- JRo]

Let's be honest, the economy is hitting us all pretty hard. Everyone's gotta suck it up, budget some expenses, pretend to be satisfied with their job, and sometimes make Ramen Noodles in a coffee maker. It's got us all falling back on secondary plans and sometimes even secondary jobs. But, we're not alone.

The fantasy world of video game characters isn't spared either. Coins and power-ups are becoming scarce and sometimes the old routine doesn't work any longer. So, it's time for some of our favorite icons of the pixel universe to buckle down, update their resumes, and hit the job market once again.

Super Mario


Niko Bellic


The Spy


Pitfall Harry


Ken Masters

LAUNCH GALLERY (5 IMAGES)
Photo Photo Photo Photo Photo









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29 comments | showing # 1 to 29
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Occams electric toothbrush's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/06/2010 17:51
Occams electric toothbrush
Experience with Mircosoft Excel

I almost lost my shit at work over that. Topsauced in my heart.
Stevil's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/06/2010 18:12
Stevil
I love the last one to this. Now that's a punchline!
Elsa's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/06/2010 18:55
Elsa
AWESOME!
RiotMonster's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/06/2010 20:23
RiotMonster
This was amazing.
Jan Hornbeck Chapman's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/06/2010 20:39
Jan Hornbeck Chapman
Experience with Microsoft Excel. LOL.
Om Nom On Souls's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/06/2010 21:20
Om Nom On Souls
you win.
Mr Andy Dixon's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/06/2010 23:59
Mr Andy Dixon
You are the fucking man! Awesome!
LawofThermalDynamics's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/07/2010 00:23
LawofThermalDynamics
screw slow clap. I am rapidly spamming the clap button.
knutaf's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/07/2010 09:22
knutaf
"pharmaceutical technician" - hahahaha
the entire niko bellic one - hahahaha
beverlynoelle's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/07/2010 11:38
beverlynoelle
This made me laugh my face off. No, seriously, where is my face? Have you seen it?

"You call. My phone ring" is going on all of my business cards in lieu of my actual phone number.

AMAZING!
ChAoTiC's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/09/2010 16:38
ChAoTiC
Ken Masters = win
MooImaChicken's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/09/2010 16:39
MooImaChicken
LOl at the shoryuken one... really funny bro.
Uber Mashu's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/09/2010 16:39
Uber Mashu
AwesomeExMachina, I want to give you a little kiss on the lips. Not only did this piece have a great sense of humour, but it had brains and beauty as well.
jawshoeuh's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/09/2010 16:48
jawshoeuh
WINNER!!!
VolksONER's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/09/2010 16:49
VolksONER
My bonus was 10% of what it usually is. I hate my yob.
Estrelas's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/09/2010 16:52
Estrelas
Brilliant.
McChiken's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/09/2010 17:13
McChiken
Yes folks I believe we have a winner!
Los255's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/09/2010 17:25
Los255
This too good. Love them all!
SteezyXL's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/09/2010 17:36
SteezyXL
Lol you sir, are amazing!
Corduroy Turtle's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/09/2010 18:16
Corduroy Turtle
^ That sounded sarcastic
AwesomeExMachina's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/09/2010 18:39
AwesomeExMachina
You're all my Samuel L Jacksons.

That's just my subtle way of saying I love you.

Also, behind the scenes note, the Niko line of "You call, my phone ring" was actually uttered by my Eastern European landlord. His last name? Bellic.

My rent is never late.
Wrenchfarm's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/09/2010 19:38
Wrenchfarm
"SHORYUKEN!"

Masters tells you everything you need to know :p
swatagnat's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/09/2010 22:07
swatagnat
Fantastic. Really great. You have given me enjoyment. Thank you.
donssword's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/10/2010 09:11
donssword
I love that the Pitfall Harry one shows a cart with that darn glue discoloring the label.

I recently started back filling the gaps in my 2600 collection, and I find as a general rule, there is no such thing as a mint Activision cart--even factory wrapped ones have this oxidization with the glue and label. And those friggin circuit boards Activision used were awful--they're too thin and never make proper contact with you console's cart slot (yeah, there's a mom joke in there). The sad part is, some of those games are just so good.
Chris Morris's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/11/2010 17:41
Chris Morris
Haha, the Ken one was perfect!
nekobun's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/12/2010 11:14
nekobun
You forgot Referee (Tennis, Punch Out!!) and Golfer on Mario's, but the whole "Not easily discouraged..." bit more than makes up for it. Kudos.
shinryu's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/15/2010 08:51
shinryu
now that's a dragon punch...line.
fulldamage's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/15/2010 17:25
fulldamage
Well freakin' done. I'm kind of tempted to add a "special moves" section to my resume...
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