Evil publisher Activision has laid out its nefarious plan to make Modern Warfare 2 the best selling game of all time. Since Activision routinely sacrifices lambs and children to satisfy bargains with the Old Gods, it will likely get what it wants, too.

"Each year the Call of Duty franchise goes from strength-to-strength," said brand manager and thrall Simon Wells. "We want to propel this year's title to be the biggest selling video game of all time. That may raise some eyebrows, but step back and look at the franchise's trajectory through preceding launches, and this objective starts to look viable."

Not only does the diabolical publisher hope to crush its competition in the gaming sector, Modern Warfare 2 is also expected to beat out all other forms of media too, becoming the hottest entertainment property of the year. According to Wells, MW2 is "competing directly with entertainment propositions outside of the video game space."

With a new Harry Potter film due out this year, expect Daniel Radcliffe to have been killed in a fatal "accident" before the year's end.