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[Editor's note: megaStryke looks at three games that have destroyed people's bodies for his A Time to Destroy Monthly Musing. -- CTZ]

Games are considered a safe activity because they provide an engaging and immersive experience without the need to leave home. Maybe as a kid you didn't get outside much, but damn it all, at least you weren't outside taking jumps on your bike off the collapsed fence and over the fetid canal behind that 7-Eleven half a block from your house. Your parents should be grateful for that! Maybe there is some truth to the assumption that unchecked gaming can lead to irreparable psychological harm, but at least you won't be breaking any bones!

However, there exist a number of games that demand a little extra commitment, just enough to present an eyebrow-raising safety hazard. Without exercising caution, you too can become the victim of an honest-to-God gaming injury.

Like I said, these games typically require a little extra interaction. In other words, the means with which you control the game itself are rather unconventional. Maybe the game comes with a custom controller or maybe you are required to hold a standard controller in an awkward fashion. If you aren't plopped down on your La-Z-Boy with your controller firmly clasped between your palms, your chances of winding up in traction will shoot up exponentially (slight exaggeration, but ... well, just keep reading).

The following are three big offenders in the game world. Some of the photos might be disturbing ... so let's get started, shall we? 

Mario Party


The first entry in the Mario Party franchise is the Godfather of all party games. The formula, gather a number of varied and time-limited minigames and wrap them in an inviting yet unassuming shell, is old hat by now. However, those of us who popped this guy into the N64 were quite familiar with a small handful of events that oozed a rather sinister aura. These events, like Tug 'O War above, required you to rotate the analog stick faster than your opponent. Your thumb was inadequate for this type of action, thus leaving you with two alternatives. You could grip the joystick between your index finger and thumb then rotate your wrist, but this method was sorely lacking in comfort. Most likely you placed your palm directly on the nub of the stick and put your entire arm to work, thus ensuring the most efficient results. It also ensured that the abrasive surface of the stick would tear into your hand and peel off the flesh. Try explaining to your social studies teacher that the reason why you are unable to grip your pencil properly is because of a massive gash on your palm following an exuberant round of virtual paddleboats.

A number of complaints eventually prompted Nintendo to offer free safety gloves to owners of the game and to exclude such events from all future sequels.

Arm Spirit



Distributed by Atlus to arcades across Japan, Arm Spirit was an arm wrestling simulation featuring a motorized hand that increased in power with each consecutive challenger. Forget the digitized challengers on the screen, your real opponent was a machine with limitless stamina and no clear ceiling to its strength.

Any chump with a third-grade reading level should know what would happen next. Three broken arms later, the machine was whisked away, never to be seen again (I can only hope). The total lack of foresight that went into the development of this torture device is astounding.

Guitar Hero


In December 2006, pitcher Joel Zumaya of the Detroit Tigers missed three playoff games because he played too much Guitar Hero. Strain from repetitive arm motions … yeah, at least that injury makes sense.

Some other guy trashed his knee while gunning for some "style points", i.e. extreme poses. It takes a special kind of game to draw out the latent rocker in all of us, but it takes an even more special kind of game to sucker players into contorting their bodies into unnatural positions willingly. I would have thought this kind of business was DDR territory, but what do I know. This story is so unbelievable that the dude felt it necessary to immortalize his "accomplishment" with a Web site detailing his harrowing adventures and long road to recovery, complete with juicy pictures every step of the way.

What surprises me most about these types of games is how people react when they find blood running down their leg or their arm hanging limp on their side. It's yet another in a long list of game achievements that will be related to all their friends with pride and enthusiasm. Gamers love to show off; sharing tales of game-related injuries is the closest analogue in the gamer sphere to describing that time in that seedy Jersey bar when Big Bruno stuck a knife six inches into your abdomen. It's not the injury itself but the story that gains admiration, yet one would think you'd keep something as embarrassing as losing flesh and blood after an evening with Yoshi and pals to yourself.

I suppose it’s possible that one can glean as much satisfaction from self-destruction as from virtual destruction, possibly more. Scary thought ... I think we have problems. I guess it is true that gaming leads to irreparable psychological damage.


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43 comments | showing # 1 to 43

Rider Chop's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/16/2008 12:10
Rider Chop
I never knew Mario Party was such serious buisness
garison's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/16/2008 12:17
garison
That damn 64 controllers joystick fucked my thumb over a few times.
Scary Womanizing Pig Mask's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/16/2008 12:49
Scary Womanizing Pig Mask
How Arm Spirit ever got out the door is beyond me XD

Nice post :)
ShuperShawn's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/16/2008 12:51
ShuperShawn
That arm wrestling game looks like it would actaully be fun.
Rockvillian's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/16/2008 12:55
Rockvillian
nice post! Also, Mario Party injures your relationship with certain friends.
Half left's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/16/2008 13:00
Half left
I take it to the next step. I buy controllers and snap them in half there and then. No machine will get the better of me!
timepants's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/16/2008 14:57
timepants
Great post, it's ridiculous that gamers use these injuries to prove how "hardcore" they are.
t3h d0n's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/16/2008 16:15
t3h d0n
ah, so many raw thumbs from playing with the n64 and ps2 controllers
Puppy Licks's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/16/2008 16:26
Puppy Licks
yeeeeouch! I used to get blisters from playing games too long but I think I've developed a resistance to that sort of thing now :P
aZZmodan's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/16/2008 16:43
aZZmodan
Man, great post.

This arm thing, we used to have one near where I lived in the late 80s. Man, we were obsessed with the thing! But the thing cheated! It was a CHEATER!!! Well, it was a machine you were trying to wrestle down, true, but... Give the human some slack, will you...?
Dexter345's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/25/2008 13:04
Dexter345
God, Mario Party gave me nasty palm blisters.
Dexter345's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/25/2008 13:09
Dexter345
I feel like there were also some NES games that gave some particularly sore thumbs.
casualweaponry's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/25/2008 13:20
casualweaponry
The original RC Pro Am for the NES was a thumb destroyer too.
DanlHaas's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/25/2008 13:23
DanlHaas
@Dexter345- Crash and the Boys Street Challenge comes to mind.

Great post, though. I know I've bragged about my Rock Band drum calluses, or how difficult it is to breathe following a DDR set that might have been a touch above my skill level.
ace of knaves's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/25/2008 13:32
ace of knaves
Arm Spirit sounds like a highly effective torture device.
Oak's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/25/2008 14:36
Oak
No one mentioned Track & Field yet? The horror...
kielejocain's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/25/2008 14:45
kielejocain
No mention of waggle-wrist, either. I'm beginning to think we've lost a collective step. Track & Field and almost anything Wii-related were my first two thoughts, along with the more obscure Monday Night Football (SNES, I believe). In that game, you got two "Power Plays" per half, one running and one passing. You had to press 'A' rapidly to accelerate and keep speed, and it was a guaranteed TD against the computer. Trouble was, you had to press so fast and for so long to stay ahead that I nearly passed out once trying to play against the computer. Didn't play much after that.

*flex*
Ballistic's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/25/2008 14:46
Ballistic
This past week, I just did the 84 song set challenge in Rock Band 2 with my friend, and I actually hurt my wrist from playing for too long. It was a pretty epic experience because of just how difficult it started to become to play, and as we got into the harder songs, how unsure I became that we could make it. But we pulled it off, and it was AWESOME...but painful.
s0lesurviv0r's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/25/2008 14:51
s0lesurviv0r
My sister sprained her wrist playing Ehrgeiz in the arcade.
JiR INC's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/25/2008 15:00
JiR INC
TRACK & FIELD GAMES OUCHTIME
Mr Wrighty 987's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/25/2008 15:24
Mr Wrighty 987
ive got wankers cramp off playing the Res Evil 5 Demo! i fucking love that game
GameraTheGreat's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/25/2008 15:48
GameraTheGreat
What was that crazy chariot racing game on the 1st xbox? They made you use every damn button on that piece of crap controller!! On another note...I am surprised VF didn’t draw any fire! VF was demanding enough in arcades but once it landed on consoles...well, a finger friend it was not.
Atlas's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/25/2008 16:08
Atlas
I had a N64 controller with the end of the analog nub broken off so you had to dig your fingers into a spiky stump of an analog stick. Painful.
Ryee's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/25/2008 16:17
Ryee
When I got a hurt thumb from playing super Nintento I called it NIntendo thumb.
megaStryke's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/25/2008 17:38
megaStryke
@kielejocain

I was going to mention "Wiiitus" and how it became prevalent enough to be included in the New England Journal of Medicine, but I decided against it. Everyone knows about that one guy who got tennis elbow from playing too much Wii. It's been done to death. I thought I'd bring up a few select cases that may have been overlooked or forgotten over the years.
manasteel88's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/25/2008 18:34
manasteel88
Play any fighting game for more than an hour with a d-pad. that'll mess your thumb up.
ChronosWing's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/25/2008 19:02
ChronosWing
I suffered a black eye from the evils of track and field... Fucking hurdles and my gf flinging her elbow into my eye... maybe she did it on purpose...
twentythoughts's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/25/2008 19:16
twentythoughts
Final Fantasy 8 gave me RSI. It was the summons, combined with a non-understanding of the spell-attaching system as well as the Boost ability. Turned every battle into a Track & Field session.

I can imagine that playing Virtua Fighter with a D-pad would do the same. Man, some of the motions that one demands to pull off certain moves...
Samit Sarkar's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/25/2008 19:37
Samit Sarkar
I have blisters on the insides of both my ring fingers because of playing Rock Band drums. Yeah.
Necros's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/25/2008 21:41
Necros
I'm going to bring up Trauma Center: Under the Knife for DS. I was so intent on clearing the last of the additional "X missions" that I played it for 8 hours straight. 8 hours of highly-precise motions on a tiny DS screen. This was while I was already tired as well. And I had already played for hours the day before. By the time I had finally beaten the final X mission, my eyes burned and kept going out of focus. I had an intense headache. My arm was completely stiff, and my hand was one big lump of aching pain. I even thought I tasted something weird in my mouth. But I felt amazingly proud of myself for beating such a difficult game.

Also, playing Donkey Konga or Rock Band drums for one long session the moment you get the game really hurts your wimpy gamer hands, until they start building up resistance to the constant pain.

Also also, playing Viewtiful Joe: Double Trouble (DS) hurts your right hand from having to hold the stylus in your right hand and still play the DS in the standard position, since you're expected to play the game normally and then use the stylus for special moves at a moment's notice. You get the weirdest cramp.
Mr Gilder's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/26/2008 07:59
Mr Gilder
A really fun writeup. Thanks for giving props to the original Mario Party. That formula is definitely "old hat" now, but when that came out for the first time, it totally blew the minds of all my friends and I. Those analog rotating games truly were killers.
GunSlap's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/26/2008 13:21
GunSlap
As soon as I saw the title I knew you were going to mention Mario Party!
There was that damned shy guy wind up toy in the corner and I completely ravaged my palm trying to make him fly around the room a couple more times... ug.
falinter's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/26/2008 21:39
falinter
I read this when it was front paged and again when it was on Digg. Obviously lots of people loved it.
Good yob man.
megaStryke's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/27/2008 00:40
megaStryke
Someone dugg my article? Wow.
Wexx's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/27/2008 02:03
Wexx
A LOT of people dugg your article. Congratulations :)

Nintendo's good with that sending out safety apparatuses for their stuff. First with Mario Party gloves, then with the Wii cover thingies. I wonder what they'll fuck up on next?
AlucardX24's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/27/2008 10:56
AlucardX24
rofl. this article is amazing :)
NihonTiger90's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/27/2008 11:57
NihonTiger90
Excellent write-up. I am lucky I never got blisters from Mario Party like so many people did.
vitaminh's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/30/2008 02:21
vitaminh
I once cut my forehead open while playing Space Channel 5. I wish I was joking.
VGMari's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/04/2009 11:59
VGMari
Mario Party is SUPER SERIOUS BUSINESS.

Good blog. I lol'd.
Touch's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/04/2009 12:20
Touch
Great blog, hilarious bit about Arm Spirit, I'd never heard of it!

I remember the "Nintendo Neck" phenomenon in the late 80s - my own neck froze up for a while because I used to tense all my muscles when I tried to get those tricky jumps on the Super Mario Bros series. It's funny to think that Nintendo is still upholding that proud tradition today!
Jon2309's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/05/2009 10:02
Jon2309
Hi thar WiiSports boxing.

Oh jesus christ, I should really look where I'm punching.
senorfatso's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/05/2009 12:17
senorfatso
no track and field? Man, everyone had a different elaborate unorthodox technique for that one.
Drach's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/06/2009 16:31
Drach
I used to et blisters from gaming, after years of it, I've either developed calluses, or a technique to not develop them. Try relaxing, As Obi-Wan Kenobi said , "don't fight the controls" think of them as an extention of your body. Then gain,.. Seeing "Arm Spirit" I think it's quite hilarious.. I wouldn't be suckered into putting money into THAT machine. I however would hang out near it to see what happened to people who play it. *Snap* LOSER! >cries<
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