Warhammer 40,000: Space Marine is almost upon us, and it's looking set to be quite good indeed. I've long been enthralled by Games Workshop's expansive universe, and have thirsted for more videogames over the years.
While the property's tabletop roots make strategy games like Dawn of War a natural choice, I really wanted a solid action experience. Warhammer 40,000: Fire Warrior was a fun first-person shooter, but the choice of a Tau as a protagonist was odd, especially when everybody really wants to be a Space Marine.
It's taken exactly fourteen billion years, but finally we have a game where we get to play as the Emperor's Finest. If you don't know why that's exciting, you have some learning to do.
Think of your favorite videogame protagonist. A Space Marine could beat it up. Not even a particularly powerful Space Marine, like Captain Titus in Relic's upcoming game. I'm talking about Novices, the ones fresh out of training and ready for battle. A new Space Marine recruit has cooler armor than Master Chief, features more muscles than Marcus Fenix, and has been augmented more times than Adam Jensen before he's even had his first real fight.
Space Marines are selected from across the universe, which, in Warhammer 40,000's depiction, contains hundreds of human-populated worlds with a wide variety of harsh environments. Billions upon billions of humans are considered for recruitment, and of those, only a handful actually get chosen. Before they're subjected to genetic enhancement and brutal training, they're already ridiculously outstanding examples of human accomplishment.
One selected, the recruits are then physically altered and brutally trained. Genetic alterations include a second heart and a pair of backup lungs. They get nineteen new organs in total, and a number of their bones are fused together to provide greater protection to the insides. They can survive and recover from the kind of wounds that reduce DOOM's so-called "Space Marine" to bloody gibs in seconds. They can breathe underwater and inhale toxic gas, because why not? They can also hibernate if they like.
Then, of course, we get the Power Armor. It's cooler than Master Chief's glorified bicycle helmet and makes what is already a twelve-foot-tall, bone-fused genetic freak considerably bigger and more intimidating. They have mechanical muscles inside that, once bonded to the Marine, feel as light and natural as normal flesh.
In short, a Space Marine is basically fan fiction that human beings have written about themselves. The ultimate Mary Sues, Space Marines are so perfect it makes you want to throw up. Granted, they're also massive dicks who think a half-dead guy glued to a chair is some sort of god, but they're pretty damn good at what they do. They also have swords with chainsaw blades on it, which is cooler than the chainsaw bayonet of Gears of War because it's even more ridiculously redundant.
As said earlier, this is all before a Space Marine gets anywhere close to being experienced. They've already suffered more physical trauma than most videogame protagonists put together before they're even given a bolt pistol, but the ones that actually live long enough to become veterans (and Space Marines can live for at least 500 years) are the really scary ones. They fight Orks, slavering daemons, undead metal skeletons, and even other Space Marines -- the Chaos-tainted ones that are a million years old and backed up by reality-shifting Gods. Unlike most videogame heroes, who go up against a single villain, the Space Marines are beset on all sides by aliens, monsters, and space elves.
Compared to that, Mario looks like a pussy for having so much trouble with a shitty little turtle.
That's pretty much why it's awesome that we're finally getting an action videogame starring the Space Marines. They're basically better than you and everybody you've ever looked up to. If they punched Nathan Drake in the face, his face would become a rich, warm soup as eyeballs, hair and skull disintegrated into screaming paste. If a Space Marine kicked him in the bollocks, he'd suffer total body disruption and paint the walls as little more than squirming, gibbering ketchup.
Basically, my videogame hero could beat up your videogame hero, and if you disagree, you're horrible.
|9:20 AM on 11.03.2011|
Space Marine getting Chaos Unleashed DLC in December
Warhammer 40,000: Space Marine is due to receive its first paid downloadable content in December, with a "Chaos Unleashed" expansion to the freely released Exterminatus co-op mode. Up to four players will be able to ste...more
|2:30 PM on 10.28.2011|
Extra Life marathon raised $1.1 million for CMN Hospitals
Another year and another successful Extra Life gaming marathon has concluded; and after tallying up all of the donations made thanks to the effort of over 24,000 gamers across North America, Extra Life has surpassed ...more
|10:15 AM on 10.26.2011|
PSA: Warhammer 40,000: Space Marine co-op mode launched
In a week dominated by Battlefield 3 and Uncharted 3, it seems incredibly silly Warhammer 40,000: Space Marine to release a new mode, but that's the situation we're in. For those of you still playing Relic's Ork-blasting acti...more
|2:15 PM on 10.25.2011|
Exterminatus is declared upon Space Marine today
I only just finished Warhammer 40,000: Space Marine last weekend and Relic is already showering me with more Ork stompah goodness thanks to the free 'Exterminatus' mode. Alas, it won't let you lay waste to an entire planet f...more
|10:30 AM on 10.14.2011|
THQ: There may be 'no room' for a Space Marine sequel
THQ's Danny Bilson has brought some bad news for those hoping to see more of Warhammer 40,000: Space Marine. According to the core games boss, there might be no room at the inn for Relic's action series, since all eyes on the...more
|10:15 AM on 10.07.2011|
Space Marine getting 'Exterminatus' DLC October 25
Warhammer 40,000: Space Marine is getting its free co-op DLC, "Exterminatus" on October 25. The update will launch for Xbox 360, PS3 and PC versions of the game at once, according to Relic Entertainment. In case you nev...more
|1:45 PM on 09.13.2011|
Repaint your Captain Titus with this Space Marine mod
As everyone knows, Adeptus Astartes (read: Space Marines) of Warhammer 40,000 are awesome. They can probably beat up any of your favorite game heroes without so much as a rev of their phallic chainswords. And if there were an...more
|11:30 AM on 09.09.2011|
Warhammer 40K: Space Marine disappears from UK Steam
Warhammer 40,000: Space Marine is on sale in the United Kingdom today, but those looking to get the game on Steam will notice that it's suddenly not on the storefront. The game recently blipped out of existence, and nobody's ...more
|2:00 PM on 09.08.2011|
Review: Warhammer 40,000: Space Marine
Warhammer 40,000, the tabletop game in which sci-fi depictions of fantasy creatures battle it out in a grim, perpetually violent future, lends itself well to the world of videogames. In fact, one can be quite certain it's ins...more
|12:00 PM on 09.07.2011|
Warhammer 40K: Space Marine collector's edition unboxed!
With Warhammer 40,000: Space Marine's release having crept up on people, it would be easy to forget that the game actually had a Collector's Edition release. It boasts quite a cool selection of goodies, and we got our paws o...more
|7:00 AM on 05.02.2013|
A better look at Europe's The Last of Us special editions
Europe is getting two special editions of The Last of Us and Sony has provided a couple of new videos to give us a better look at what each edition contains. The Joel and Ellie editions each include the same stuff, the only ...more
|1:15 PM on 04.18.2013|
Persona 4 Arena EU Limited Edition revealed
European Atlus fans have had it pretty rough recently. Shin Megami Tensei fans finally got Devil Survivor Overclocked on the 3DS nearly two years after the US and Japan, only to find that it currently has a game-breaking bug...more
|6:30 PM on 03.19.2013|
Vote on what's in the Saints Row IV Collector's Edition
Saints Row IV is coming out this August and Deep Silver wants to know what they should pack into the Collector's Edition of the game. That's right, YOU have this week to vote between 19 different options. Some of the stuff yo...more