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When I played through Portal I found the turrets were easily my favorite characters in the game. Valve gave them a fantastic amount of personality and in spite of how incredibly creepy it was to hear them asking after me I almost felt bad killing them.  Almost.  

Now that this video shows me the daily ins and outs of a turret's life I'm starting to feel those twinges of guilt again.  These guys are just like me (although with less feathers and no modular bedding); working day in and day out, trading questionably witty quips, and dealing with that mouthy jerk everyone hates.  And I just rolled through and wrecked their life.

This is probably the funniest Portal parody I've seen yet. Commence painfully unfunny repetitive quoting in 3, 2, 1....


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80 comments | showing # 51 to 80

braulio09's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/18/2008 22:54
braulio09
ugh...not funny at all. it annoyed me that the voices weren't the high pitched ones they were supposed to be. and most of the swearing was there just to try and fail to be funny. also, so many missed oportunities to talk about android hell
John B's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/18/2008 23:45
John B
That was funny as hell. To the naysayers, if you think it sucks so badly, make one of your own.

...then have some cake.
slayoyayo's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/19/2008 00:16
slayoyayo
I'm not sure what was more amusing-- the actual video, or the comments from dweebs who don't like the turrets' voices or dialogue content.

I guess when satire hits too close to home it gets lost on some people. The turrets sound like fratboys? LOL-- no, they sound like you.
toast!'s Avatar - Comment posted on 01/19/2008 03:11
toast!
ahaha awesome video

SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTT

balls!
what the shit!

best part :P
Im OK's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/19/2008 03:59
Im OK
Well, if they'd been that annoying in the actual game, I wouldn't have felt bad about mercilessly abusing them the way I did.
PSIq0ut's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/19/2008 06:22
PSIq0ut
excellent. Really funny stuff.
metroid's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/19/2008 08:26
metroid
"shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit"
bluefusion@so your saying that they needed to kidnap the original voice-actor to voice the turrets?????
overal great
A Ton of Berries's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/19/2008 10:44
A Ton of Berries
haha, that was great!

They made lulz!
Azereki's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/19/2008 10:49
Azereki
That was a quality fucking laugh, thank you very much!
Hamsizzla's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/19/2008 12:46
Hamsizzla
"are you kidding? halo 3 pwns call of duty 4. I mean come on guys" HOW IS THAT NOT LOLWORTHY??
protip: add portal theme to bad comedy and it becomes lol
blehman's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/19/2008 21:01
blehman
Well, when they started singing the end song, that was kinda funny...

The SHIIIIIIIIIIIITTTT!!!!1 part made me lol too. Other than that, meh.
Joosh's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/20/2008 21:41
Joosh
The companion cube...what a douche...
Thornnn's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/20/2008 22:05
Thornnn
Awesome. possum
Fading Star's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/20/2008 23:37
Fading Star
@Sharpless
It's not THAT bad. It is kind of funny.

"The only way to win is not to play."
l0cke's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/21/2008 00:06
l0cke
Has anyone ever putt the turrets into one of those fields? They make some interesting noises.
AfroJoel's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/21/2008 01:52
AfroJoel
ololololol
mistic's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/22/2008 09:17
mistic
lololololol
SDogg554's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/22/2008 19:18
SDogg554
haha good stuff. i played through the game only a couple days ago. i'm sry i missed it for so long.
BaBaBaBaBirdman's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/23/2008 10:20
BaBaBaBaBirdman
Extremely well made. Definitely the best portal video I have seen yet.

Turret 1: What do I do now?
Turret 2: Call her a bitch.

Classic.
LordGloom's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/23/2008 18:05
LordGloom
It's well made, but the humor is sophomoric. You can call it high brow satire all you want, but it's just some guy typing shit and fuck into a voice synthesiser.

Considering the excellent humor in Portal itself, this seems like a slap in the face. There were a few knee jerk chuckles here and there, but it really wasn't funny in the least.

Sorry. It ain't good.
Mister Disco's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/23/2008 22:32
Mister Disco
I thought it was pretty funny.

I don't know why some of you feel the need to trash it, though. So, you don't find it funny? Who cares? I mean, honestly, not everyone has the same sense of humor and finds the same things amusing. No need to get all elitist about it.
LordGloom's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/24/2008 09:15
LordGloom
I wouldn't be trashing it if it weren't Portal. Taking something established (in this case, Portal's humor) and completely changing it (in this case, to shit and fuck) doesn't make a good fan movie.
dprime's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/28/2008 00:48
dprime
It was pretty good, but I certainly feel like this could have been funnier. A little more irony as opposed to silliness. More accurate voices. Y'know?
MrSlippery's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/28/2008 13:38
MrSlippery
they should've used the actual voices for the part where he's trying to get her to come out. would've added to it.

something like: "Hey, use that child voice you've been working on, it'll fuck with her."
Dutch's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/01/2008 23:01
Dutch
HOW DID I MISS THIS!!! Amazing... fucking cake.
youkilledmyguy's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/04/2008 23:26
youkilledmyguy
Good show.
king3vbo's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/20/2008 08:52
king3vbo
Holy crap, thats hilarious
emotoaster's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/20/2008 10:50
emotoaster
Pretty good,

SEE YOU IN HELL CUBE!
Demtor's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/12/2008 15:33
Demtor
Hahahaha, want more! Outstanding! I seriously had to keep from drawing attention to my cubicle today at work. Lol!
NatePribble's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/13/2008 02:22
NatePribble
I loved it! I especially liked the humming 'still alive'.
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