games  anime  |  toys
Destructoid is gaming news, community, videos, and sometimes love. Take the tour or jump in with Facebook:

 



When I played through Portal I found the turrets were easily my favorite characters in the game. Valve gave them a fantastic amount of personality and in spite of how incredibly creepy it was to hear them asking after me I almost felt bad killing them.  Almost.  

Now that this video shows me the daily ins and outs of a turret's life I'm starting to feel those twinges of guilt again.  These guys are just like me (although with less feathers and no modular bedding); working day in and day out, trading questionably witty quips, and dealing with that mouthy jerk everyone hates.  And I just rolled through and wrecked their life.

This is probably the funniest Portal parody I've seen yet. Commence painfully unfunny repetitive quoting in 3, 2, 1....


Continue: More WUT stories





prev
next 50 comments

80 comments | showing # 1 to 50

Hamza CTZ Aziz's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/18/2008 14:27
Hamza CTZ Aziz
"Call her a bitch"
ROFL
BlackDove's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/18/2008 14:28
BlackDove
The reason the turrets were awesome was because of their childlike voices and innocence.

So... no.
zealot9802's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/18/2008 14:33
zealot9802
SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT
xMalachi's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/18/2008 14:34
xMalachi
Balls!

I Wonder if there will be cake
pancakes mcgee's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/18/2008 14:35
pancakes mcgee
are they still on that damn island? haha. genius.
Eschatos's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/18/2008 14:37
Eschatos
Best and only Portal machinima so far!
Cowzilla3's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/18/2008 14:39
Cowzilla3
I lost it when they started humming with each other.
MisterMingo's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/18/2008 14:39
MisterMingo
They screwed up the voices. They're supposed to be cute and childlike. That's why they were my favorite part of the game.

And the companion cube shouldn't talk, for this very reason.

Ah well, the LOST part made me laugh.
CaffeinePowered's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/18/2008 14:41
CaffeinePowered
See you in hell cube
AngelsDontBurn's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/18/2008 14:43
AngelsDontBurn
Lol, so good.

@MisterMingo: Yes, welcome to the world of parody. Where comedy and entertainment are the only things that matter.

I always thought the turrents were awesome. Highlight of my day so far.
njsykora's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/18/2008 14:44
njsykora
I lol'd when they started humming Still Alive. I signed when they resorted to the cake line though.

OWNED BITCHES!!
ChrisFurniss's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/18/2008 14:47
ChrisFurniss
he called it! played right into his downy, quail-like hands.
Sharpless's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/18/2008 14:54
Sharpless
That was absolutely awful. They made them thoroughly obnoxious and unlikable. Bleh. "Come out, bitch" was the only really funny part. Just... ack. Total abortion.
nademagnet's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/18/2008 14:55
nademagnet
That was fantastic.
demonelite's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/18/2008 14:55
demonelite
Amazing!
Brandon Undead's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/18/2008 14:58
Brandon Undead
Not funny.
NEEDS MOAR
Alanar's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/18/2008 14:59
Alanar
Absolutely brilliant.
Hitogoroshi's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/18/2008 14:59
Hitogoroshi
War Games reference = Mother fucking win.
SWE3tMadness's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/18/2008 15:14
SWE3tMadness
For some odd reason, hearing the turrets trash-talk each other and swear lke sailors with their robotic, canned voices is so weirdly incongruous that it makes the whole thing hysterical. Especially the montage of the one turret falling to his death.

"SSHHHHIIIiiiiiittttt..."
Grim Santo's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/18/2008 15:17
Grim Santo
I have to agree with MisterMingo, I thought i was playing Halo 3 because they sound like 12 year old trash talkers.
charliesuh's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/18/2008 15:26
charliesuh
Qais! That was damn awesome! One of the best parody video's I've seen in a loooooong time!
Cheeburga's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/18/2008 15:36
Cheeburga
Holy fuck that was amazing.
Sharpless's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/18/2008 15:38
Sharpless
Yeah, it sounded like the work of a bunch of fratboys trying their first Halo machinima for shits and giggles. I'm astounded that it's so well-received here. Destructoid, I thought I knew you.
ridley80's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/18/2008 15:44
ridley80
Ha ha...that was funny...if you didn't think that was funny, you need to go back to funny school

"come out bitch"
Cameron300ZXTT's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/18/2008 15:45
Cameron300ZXTT
I thought it was pretty good. As for the lingo, I think it was purely satire of today's internet speak. No reason to hate.
Qais Fulton's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/18/2008 15:55
Qais Fulton
@sharpless: the internet slang was definitely overdone, but beyond that this thing is pure comedy gold.
atheistium's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/18/2008 15:55
atheistium
colette set me this, so funny!
lostalaska's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/18/2008 16:00
lostalaska
Tell her you see her, it freaks them out... great...
Knives's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/18/2008 16:03
Knives
"Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit"
That was my favorite part.
TheToiletDuck's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/18/2008 16:06
TheToiletDuck
Actually, that was genuinely funny.
Kudos :)
JoshDunford's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/18/2008 16:08
JoshDunford
Come out bitch! Too hilarious.

-JD
Bluefusion's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/18/2008 16:21
Bluefusion
Well, at least I thought it was funny. They could have stayed more true to the game if they had feminine voices, but whatever...it's still funny.
WmV337's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/18/2008 16:22
WmV337
Like everyone else, I just fucking lost it at "SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT"

And lotsa, I think that its time that you got a new avatar.
MasterMS's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/18/2008 16:31
MasterMS
Yeah this video really sucked
CaptainApocalypse's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/18/2008 16:34
CaptainApocalypse
lolgasm @ this
PrinceofCannedPeaches's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/18/2008 16:37
PrinceofCannedPeaches
I always knew that cube was up to no good. Now about that cake...
Chocobo Knight's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/18/2008 16:41
Chocobo Knight
Tehsome.
BADInc's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/18/2008 17:33
BADInc
ive barely even played portal, and this was still hilarious to me
dronkmunk's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/18/2008 17:36
dronkmunk
I thought it was supposed to be female voices

fail!
Teta's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/18/2008 17:40
Teta
Not funny, but really enjoyable.
-Do you think there will be any cake?
-Fuck you!
GuitarAtomik's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/18/2008 17:50
GuitarAtomik
Oh man! That was great!
big filth's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/18/2008 17:57
big filth
lets be honest.

just because it has something to do with portal doesnt make it AWESOME.

there were a few funny parts, but overall. eh.
Hamsizzla's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/18/2008 18:14
Hamsizzla
That wasn't funny at all. The voices pissed me off, and it was just tasteless humor..
TheSheezie's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/18/2008 18:20
TheSheezie
That was terrible.
F Whipple's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/18/2008 18:36
F Whipple
That was awesome
Baron Calico's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/18/2008 19:03
Baron Calico
I lol'd
vexed alex's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/18/2008 19:07
vexed alex
Hahahahahahahahahaha!

Who are these people who thought it wasn't funny? And what was that thing about this being like a Halo 3 frat boy? LOL. WUT? I don't understand how that connection could of have been made.
Professor Pew's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/18/2008 19:28
Professor Pew
Fun level zero.
TheBrain's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/18/2008 20:27
TheBrain
I wonder if there will be cake.

Fuck you.
Necros's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/18/2008 22:53
Necros
I haven't played Portal yet, but that was really funny.
prev next 50 comments

Comment with Facebook





Click connect and comment instantly!

Comment with Dtoid





New? SIGN UP - it takes 5 seconds

Comments policy

Destructoid is an open discussion community. You don't need to "audition" to post a comment - just speak your mind. We respect differing opinions on the site, so have at it. Be smart, funny, insightful, clueless, or cute -- but back it up with substance. Keep your cool, keep it fun. We only ask that you act respectfully and above all: don't be a troll and ruin it for everyone else. Don't bring down gamers or we'll, you know, gently shoot you in the face and stuff you into a flaming mailbox. Each comment is your opportuntity to make this community awesomer. Is that even a word?

Avoiding the banhammer only requires common sense: spamming, trolling, racism, NSFW stuff, and other forms of sucking will not be tolerated. If anyone is griefing please report abuse. Be good. Don't suck!

 
New on Destructoid.TV play all videos

Loading
Loading Destructoid Videos

    Win this!
    Dive in! meetup+play for a chance to win a PC

    Dtoid Twitter    Got news?   tips@destructoid.com

    Reviews & Previews
    Assassin's Creed 2 review
    Crossfire Remote Pistol review
    Resident Evil: The Darkside Chronicles review
    Left 4 Dead 2 review
    Call of Duty: Modern Warfare Reflex review
    more reviews
    Driver
    Avatar
    GT Racing Motor Academy
    Bad Company 2 beta dishes out meaningful experiences
    Legend of Zelda Spirit Tracks
    more previews


    - The Dtoid Army is 51015 strong -

    Showing Cblogs with 3+ faps   show all

    Call for entries: do the wrong thing
    New to Dtoid? Read the survival guide




     Originals
    Chad Concelmo: The tragic history of the videogame turkey





















    More Destructoid Originals



     Popular now more






















    Team Destructoid   tips@destructoid.com
    Nick Chester
    Editor-in-Chief    		 Niero
    Founder, publisher
    Jim Sterling
    Reviews Editor    		 Hamza Aziz
    Community Manager
    Dale North
    News Editor    		 Rey Gutierrez
    Video editor & director
    Anthony Burch
    Features Editor    		 Colette Bennett
    Tom Fronczak Brad Nicholson
    Ashley Davis Ben Perlee
    Conrad
    Zimmerman    		 Chad Concelmo
    Jonathan Holmes Jonathan Ross
    Brad Rice Jordan Devore
    Will Maddock Matthew Razak
    Dyson Joseph Leray
    Topher Cantler Samit Sarkar
         
      Dexter
    Adam Dork
    Daniel Lingen
    Hollie Bennett
         		Joe Burling
    Mikey
    Stella Wong
    Josh Tolentino




     

     
      get involved

    register or login
    post a blog
    post a forum
    enter a contest
    contribute a news tip
    suggest a feature
    be a guest editor
    		 support

    new member's guide
    login assistance
    tech support
    report abuse
    email our editors
    read our dev blog
    nuclear crisis?
    		 keep in touch

    RSS feed
    Twitter
    Facebook
    Myspace
    Flickr
    Game nights
    Meetup+play online     		seriously

    about Destructoid
    advertising
    terms of use
    privacy policy
    jobs at MM
    buy our crap     		our network

    Tomopop
    Japanator
    Despingation?



    Destructoid is an independently-run publication forged by our love of video games and the gaming community's need of accountable enthusiast press
    living the dream since March 16, 2006