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Cookie Clicker photo
Cookie Clicker

Cookie Clicker wants back in your life

Version 2.0 is here
Feb 08
// Jordan Devore
Sorry about this. A new version of Cookie Clicker launched today with a revamped ascension system, quality-of-life improvements, and a cookie dragon, among many other additions. I'm telling you about it because I am a bad man...
Super Mario Maker photo
Super Mario Maker

Whip up a sweet wallpaper with Mario Maker

Free official web app
Feb 01
// Jordan Devore
Nintendo has a cool little web app that lets you create wallpapers for your phone or computer, Mario Maker style. It's only in Japanese, for now, but I'm confident you'll be able to find your way around. This tool isn't nearl...
Wilbur Scoville photo
Wilbur Scoville

Google browser game honors Wilbur Scoville

Devised pepper heat scale
Jan 22
// Chris Carter
Google has a cute little game today honoring the American pharmacist Wilbur Scoville. Scoville, born on this day in 1865, came up with a heat scale for peppers. It eventually lead to what is referred to as the "Scoville ...
8-bit Odin Sphere photo
8-bit Odin Sphere

That 8-bit Odin Sphere game is definitely happening

Atlus got the support it needed
Nov 19
// Chris Carter
Recently, Atlus asked fans to tweet out in support of an 8-bit version of Odin Sphere, and it immediately had over 20,000 people respond to the call. It's no surprise then that it took less than a week to hit its 28,888 tweet...

EndWar Online beta photo
EndWar Online beta

Tom Clancy's EndWar Online closed beta starts today, runs through November

'War never ends'
Sep 01
// Darren Nakamura
I had forgotten about Tom Clancy's EndWar Online. It was originally announced just about two years ago, took on some alpha playtesters, and went dark to everybody else. Today, it is coming out of alpha and into a closed beta ...
Web games photo
Web games

There is no Game is a captivating, uh, not-game

So long, fourth wall!
Jul 29
// Jordan Devore
"Save the goat. Save the world." The less you know about There is no Game, the better. Click away! [Via Dennis Wedin]
KFC game photo
KFC game

KFC takes us through the life of Colonel Sanders in a game

Double Down Browntown
May 20
// Darren Nakamura
Colonel Sanders lived an interesting life. In an attempt to bring him back into the public eye, fast food chain KFC wants to tell the story of his life, though it seems like it might be embellished a bit in the free minigame ...
Dtoider does... photo
Dtoider does...

Legend of Zeldo: Lonk's Awakening is the second best Flappy Bird clone

Made by a Destructoid communityman!
May 04
// Steven Hansen
Disclosure! Eric Neuhaus (Destructoid user donkeyspaceman or the artist formerly known as tsunamikitsune) made this game. I recognized Eric's name so I thought I might have been Facebook friends with him, but apparently I'm n...
Web games photo
Web games

We can't stop playing the hilarious multiplayer web game

Today's best thing
Apr 29
// Jordan Devore
What're we up to in the Destructoid office today? It's a free web game in which you are a blob trying to absorb other blobs so that you can become the biggest, baddest blob around. Hey, that sounds like Osmos! But he...
Newgrounds turns 20 photo
Newgrounds turns 20

Flash game portal Newgrounds turns 20 years old today

Now I feel old
Apr 25
// Darren Nakamura
These days, Tom Fulp is probably best known for his work with The Behemoth, behind games like Alien Hominid and Castle Crashers. Way back in the day, I knew him as the guy in charge of Newgrounds. I spent a ton of time (proba...
King Dedede photo
King Dedede

King Dedede is your best new virtual pet friend

Poop, sleep, eat, life: This is Dedede
Apr 11
// Jonathan Holmes
We all thought that Paperbeatsscissors had already conquered the Internet with this Hulk/Hulk designer t-shirt, but it turns out it was just getting warmed up. Now it has gone and made a new Tamagotchi-style virtual pet for y...
Grab Them by the Eyes photo
Grab Them by the Eyes

Terry Cavanagh's new game takes on scummy advertising

Grab Them by the Eyes
Feb 27
// Darren Nakamura
First off, I recognize the irony in posting this on a website that gets most of its income from advertisements. Terry Cavanagh, best known for the punishingly difficult VVVVVV and Super Hexagon, has a new browser game out wit...
Extrasolar photo

Extrasolar's mobile interface got a slick update

Controlling an exoplanet rover on the go
Feb 26
// Darren Nakamura
Extrasolar has always been a tough sell for hardcore gamers, in my eyes. Though it was one of my top games of last year, most readers tune out when they see a description like "free-to-play science simulator," and going any f...
Valkyria Duel photo
Valkyria Duel

Sega shuts down Valkyria Chronicles mobile game

Social card game Valkyria Duel hits the end of the line
Feb 26
// Kyle MacGregor
Sega and NHN are terminating service for their card-based social game Valkyria Chronicles Duel. The lights began going out today, as the companies have already discontinued sales of the browser and mobile game's virtual curre...
Symmetry photo

Some haikus about free puzzle platformer Symmetry

Permission to write every post like this?
Feb 15
// Darren Nakamura
Flash game on NewgroundsLike VVVVVVSuperficially Mirror imagesForm platforms on either sideClimb to the portal Push boxes aroundAvoid deadly laser beamsFlip the gravity
0h n0 photo
0h n0

0h n0: another simple, free, Japanese logic puzzle

Companion to 0h h1
Feb 13
// Darren Nakamura
Late last year I was turned on to 0h h1, a free digital version of the Japanese logic puzzle Takuzu. Developer Martin Kool of Q42 is at it again. 0h n0 is another adaptation, this time taking the puzzle Kuromasu and giving it...
Bayonetta demake photo
Bayonetta demake

Platinum's 404 page is a cute little Bayonetta demake

How quickly can you mash the Enter key?
Feb 02
// Jordan Devore
Instead of displaying a simple file-not-found message, the 404 page on Platinum Games' website holds a score-attack demake of Bayonetta. It's worth a moment of your day. The game is simplistic -- you jump and shoot at oncomin...
Enchanted Cave 2 photo
Enchanted Cave 2

A free roguelike with music by Banjo-Kazooie's Grant Kirkhope? Yes, please!

The Enchanted Cave 2
Jan 26
// Jordan Devore
I'm struggling to stop playing The Enchanted Cave 2 for long enough to tell you about it. Unassuming name and overabundance of roguelikes aside, this browser-based game is terrific. You delve into a cavern in search of gold, ...
Upgrade Complete photo
Upgrade Complete

Upgrade Complete 3mium pokes fun at awful free-to-play games

And ends up being oddly enjoyable
Jan 19
// Jordan Devore
Did you like DLC Quest, conceptually? You might also dig Upgrade Complete 3mium, a short browser-based game that parodies the worst aspects of free-to-play gaming. You're forced to play the crappy lite version of the game and...
Softporn II photo
Softporn II

Wolfenstein, Prince of Persia, Softporn II: 2,400 MS-DOS games playable free in-browser

The short-lived adventures of pornman and porngal
Jan 06
// Steven Hansen
The Internet Archive has added to its archive with nearly 2,400 MS-DOS games that are all playable right in your browser, right here. I've flitted between between Prince of Persia, Donkey Kong, and Aladdin within minutes...
0h h1 photo
0h h1

Need something free to pass the time? 0h h1 is sort of like binary sudoku

Red vs. blue
Nov 24
// Darren Nakamura
I have always been an unapologetic fan of Minesweeper. I have been playing it for longer than any other single game, and I will be playing it as long as I can imagine. It never changes in any fundamental way, but it always wo...
Arcade games photo
Arcade games

How does 900 classic arcade games in your browser sound?

Sounds pretty darn a-okay to me
Nov 04
// Brett Makedonski
Fancy the greatest classic gaming selection of all time? It's not at some fabled arcade where the sound of dropping quarters and eight-bit music drowns out the dimmed oldies rock station playing over the worn out speakers. No...
0-Hour Game Jam photo
0-Hour Game Jam

Madden Crusade was made in under an hour

One of the crude, funny games of the 0h Game Jam
Nov 03
// Jordan Devore
Did you remember to adjust your clock(s) on Sunday? I just slept in as always. Some game designers used the end of daylight saving time as an excuse to, get this, be productive. There's this thing called the 0h Game Jam in wh...
Transmission photo

Play free puzzler Transmission and maybe learn a little

Made for London's Science Museum
Oct 28
// Darren Nakamura
At first, Transmission looks like a pretty standard Eulerian path-based puzzle game. That is not a bad thing; I was pretty hooked on Lyne for a while. But as Transmission progresses, it follows the history of electronic commu...

I have a problem and its name is Clicker Heroes

Oct 07 // Jordan Devore
It starts off simply, as these games tend to -- they're smart about easing you in. Just click on that monster a few times to kill it, and you'll be rewarded with a bit of gold. Feels good. Then another monster appears, so you kill it too, and several more while you're at it. You can now afford to level up your character to increase how much damage you do per click, or you can save up for a pricier new hero, one who will automatically dish out damage. You keep at this -- slaying monsters, 10 at a time to open up access to the next level -- until you reach a boss. These encounters run on a timer, and if you don't kill the beast quickly enough, you'll have to try again. So it's back to the last level you go, taking down smaller enemies to earn gold to spend on level-ups or new heroes to increase your damage output. With these purchases, you can now kill the boss, and look at that! You're making progress again! Seeing those health bars deplete more rapidly with each new purchase feels terrific. Your foes are growing more resilient, sure, but that's nothing you can't overcome with more upgrades and heroes. All you need is time -- some here, some there. But it adds up. Now, it wasn't until I had most of the abilities unlocked that my obsession spiraled out of control. Abilities do things like increase your damage per second by 100 percent, perform 10 clicks per second automatically, or increase gold dropped by 100 percent. Most last for only 30 seconds and then require a recharge before you can use them again. Some need 10 minutes, others an hour. One ability has a painful eight-hour cooldown. These make it so you're always checking in. It got to the point where I'd set myself up on an ideal level for gold farming each night, then wake up the next morning and leap out of bed like a kid on Christmas morning to activate every ability at once. Doing so will often help you overcome a particularly tough boss and reach the next set of levels, which means substantially more gold. You always want to be moving up the ladder. But, eventually, progress will slow to such a crawl that you'll need to "Ascend," which resets your game world but keeps certain elements in tact to make the journey that much quicker the next time. For some, this will be the point at which Clicker Heroes loses its grip. I envy those people. I almost lost interest -- almost! -- but came back to the game days later to find such a huge stockpile of gold that I couldn't not spend it. And then it had its hooks in me again. The first couple ascensions felt pretty good, admittedly. There's this separate type of currency which acts as a huge boost to your damage-per-second output. It can also be spent on special characters, called Ancients, who have far-reaching passive abilities. But in order to spend said currency, known in-game as "Hero Souls," you have to Ascend first. If you make it far enough into a world, your heroes can also become randomly "gilded," which increases their damage as well. These things carry over into new games, damn it. Of course they do. So do achievements. Yes, Clicker Heroes has achievements, and yes, they boost your DPS. It's less interesting going through the same levels again, but with these buffs in place, you'll soar through them. You'll be able to buy things completely out of order, if you want. It's chaos. And then, you're back where you started -- but in a fraction of the time. You topple that original hurdle and press on until you hit a new one. Better Ascend again for even more Hero Souls. That's where I'm at right now. I've ascended seven times, and I'm ready to do it again -- I don't have the patience to wait out the boss on level 160. I'm ready to bank a bunch of Hero Souls and kick its ass in the next world. Although, looking at the Clicker Heroes subreddit, I've only scratched the surface, which frightens me. Thankfully, that's helping me lose interest. This is a game that would be okay in moderation, but it's designed to exploit the way our brains are wired and won't let you play it that way. I've never seriously bothered with free-to-play gaming before -- the scummier side of it, especially -- but I can see how people fall into those similar traps. It's almost unfathomable until it happens to you. They have my sympathy. If you're thinking of playing Clicker Heroes, I have one piece of advice: don't. It's the best/worst game I've gotten into this year and I just want to stop, already. Enough is enough. In writing this article -- getting these thoughts out of my head -- I'm one step closer to escaping.
Clicker Heroes photo
Idle gaming is anything but
They did it. Someone finally made an "idle game" that stuck with me and now here I am, almost two weeks later, still obsessing. Clicker Heroes has succeeded where Cookie Clicker failed. Granted, it's the same basic premise: c...

Clicker Heroes photo
Clicker Heroes

Someone please take Clicker Heroes away from me before I play it all day

Welcome to your new obsession
Sep 26
// Brett Makedonski
Dammit, it's Cookie Clicker all over again. Clicker Heroes is the new game that you won't be able to stop clicking (or at least paying attention to because you've got people to click for you). Clicker Heroes ta...
Extrasolar photo

Extrasolar Season 2 is being funded through Kickstarter

Season 1 still available for free
Sep 09
// Darren Nakamura
I do not envy Lazy 8 Studios with the balancing act it has trying to market Extrasolar. By revealing too little, only a relatively small demographic will ever try out the exoplanet rover simulator. By revealing too much, a t...
Breath of Fire 6 photo
Breath of Fire 6

This trailer for Breath of Fire 6 is as pretty as I expected, but that's about it

Online, web-based design isn't so impressive in my eyes, though
Jul 31
// Brittany Vincent
This animated trailer is absolutely stunning, but it does not do much to enthuse me for Breath of Fire 6. Breath of Fire 6, subtitled Guardians of the White Dragon, is set to be published as an online, web-based role-pl...
Google Maps photo
Google Maps

Are you bright enough to not run out of miles in Google's Smarty Pin?

Travel across the world
Jul 02
// Brett Makedonski
Every now and then you can count on Google to come up with a solid time-waster. This is one of them. It's called Smarty Pins, and it'll have you dropping your Google Maps marker all over the world in the name of trivia. The i...
#simulators photo

Don't let Realistic Kissing Simulator teach you how to kiss

If you do, you're gonna have a bad time
May 23
// Brittany Vincent
Weak tonsil hockey game? Slobbering all over your partner when you go in for the kiss? You need Realistic Kissing Simulator, the best kind of training you could possibly have. Just kidding. You won't learn a thing, but you'll...

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