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#also cocks

YouPorn ban photo
YouPorn ban

YouPorn eSports team banned by league

YouPorn, which my colleagues tell me is a supplier of online "adult" entertainment, sponsors an eSports team, Team YP. It has since 2014, back when I wrote, "More like spornsporning an eSporn team." Hah, nice. Unfortunately, this relationsh...

 
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8===D

Hot Mess: 10 Years of Destructoid party photos

There's something about the Mr. Destructoid helmet that brings out the animal in people. I've seen sheepish tiny McChicken-like boys turn into fearless crotch-thrusters, running up on stages and doing what three shots of Jager could not aff...

 
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Friday Night Fights - Happer Nooo Yur!

Dear lord it's bright. Worked till 6am, drank till 8 and back up at 12pm. Choices. Ugh. It's almost 1pm and I need to go back to work. At least it's Friday and it's a short, 4hr shift. It's the little things. Now excuse me, there's ham on m...

 
GOTY 2015
The downfall of Japanese game development has been greatly exaggerated. It sort of reminds me of what happened a century ago, when Dr. Kellogg introduced Kellogg's Corn Flakes in hopes that it would reduce masturbation. Kello...   read

Friday Night Fights photo
Friday Night Fights

Friday Night Fights - Ch-ch-ch-chaaaanges

Well isn't this Hunky Dory? A nice little Friday. We have a new Call of Duty to play together. We have a new Fallout to play with ourselves (HA! HA!). We have herpes. Wait, that's just me. My bad. "So shut up and tell us what's changing Mik...

 
Gamers love danger photo
Gamers love danger

Marathon gamers are 25% more likely to consider sleeping with a serial killer

Do you ever find yourself playing video games for more than eight hours straight? If you answered yes, would you consider sleeping with -- or fucking -- a serial killer? According to OKCupid, 25 percent of you are likely to answer yes. ...

 
Madden tricks photo
Madden tricks

Madden 16 screenshots lie about Marshawn Lynch dick-grabbing mechanic

Madden 16 used the above photo for Marshawn Lynch in its running backs player rating reveal. He is, naturally, number one at 96 overall. He cannot, however, grab his dick in defiance, as he is wont to do in real life. Seriously, watch this.

 
Dick slip photo
Dick slip

Miiverse moderation can't catch ALL the dicks

Sometimes they just slip through the cracks.

 
Rustic photo
Rustic

Rust soft launches female avatars, 'you never had a choice'

Back when I was telling you about how Rust automatically generates penis size based on Steam ID, a footnote to that article was that female player models were on their way to the survival sandbox, too. Well, this momentous addition was anno...

 
Rustic photo
Rustic

Rustic: Rust generates avatar cock size by Steam ID

Haha, rustic. I think it's time for Jordan to take another Rust adventure. The open world survival sim is fascinating. It recently made headlines when players flipped out after it randomly assigned face and skin tone to users' Steam IDs. An...

 
Don't get cocky photo
Don't get cocky

Expensive dick moderation helped kill the last LEGO MMO

Someone think about the children! Like my own personal brand, LEGO is a family-friendly, name-stealing company. And so the open-ended, Minecraft-like builder LEGO Worlds has some problem what with immature idiots' propensity to build cock. ...

 
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Friday Night Fights - Get Over Here!

Guys, I have a problem. I'm thirsty as hell. Not for some sweet meat slapping, but for blood. Your blood. Someone needs to hit me up on Xbox or PC for some Mortal Kombat X action. I have 9 Komplete on PC as well. LET'S DO THIS THANG! I need...

 
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Friday Night Fights - Goodbye Sweet Prince

I don't even have it in my heart to 'shop your face into those penguin eyes. Our fearless Boner Knight: Andy Dixon is leaving us as Community Manager. From the first time I was an asshole to you Andy, to the last time I was an asshole to yo...

 
Mario Kart dicks photo
From our community  

Who put all these dicks in Mario Kart?

[Where will Dtoid community blogger Hyper Lemon Buster Cannon find dicks next?? --Mr Andy Dixon] You know, if there's one important observation I've noticed throughout the years, it's that if you look hard enough, like really really hard, y...

 
Sporting YP photo
Sporting YP

YouPorn is sponsoring an eSports team

YouPorn, which a cursory Google search tells me is a streaming adult video webpage, has announced its sponsorship of a Spanish eSports team (Hearthstone, League of Legends). Play2Win will now be known as Team YP, which sounds like some...

 
Xbox porn photo
Xbox porn

Hardcore pornography CONFIRMED for Next Xbox

SugarDVD, purveyor of such fine films as What An Asshole and Hairy Asian Schoolgirls Masturbate, has confirmed it'll be bringing its adult entertainment streaming services to Microsoft's next-generation Xbox.  The service is already of...

 
Promoted cock blog photo
From our community  

Promoted blog: Gaming's greatest cocks

[Destructoid turned seven this past Saturday, and all month long Dtoiders have been reminiscing about their time with the site over in our Community Blogs. Here's Handy's little dandy. Show us yours! --Mr Andy Dixon] We have a little saying...

 
Etrian Odyssey IV photo
Etrian Odyssey IV

Etrian Odyssey IV will get you stiff

Dale North's review is taking forever because he keeps getting distracted by sh*t like this. [Swagtoise's Tumblr via Tiny Cartridge]

 
HAWP photo
HAWP

HAWP: Oh Ash, your diplomacy is so thick and hard

This is... well... umm... you know what? I'm not even going to explain it. The latest Hey Ash, Whatcha Playin'? is brilliance, plain and simple. Go watch it and have a good laugh or two. Hey Ash, Whatcha Playin'? - Civilization V [GameTrai...

 
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Goodbye, Destructoid

As some of you may or may not have heard, this is officially my last day with Destructoid. Man ... I can barely type that without getting upset. I am starting a new job next week at GolinHarris as a writer for Nintendo. It is an absolute dr...

 
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The DTOID Show: Assassin's Creed DLC, Star Wars, & Porno

On today's completely professional, mature, and otherwise not stupid or embarrassing Destructoid Show, we discuss some very serious topics. First, a season pass is announced for Assassin's Creed III, and the first DLC will be set in an alt...

 
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YouPorn 'now on' Xbox, welcomes 'Xbox Masturbators'

Sometimes this job is boring, and sometimes YouPorn sends Destructoid a press release, excitedly telling us that its streaming sex video services is coming to Xbox Live. Of course, what it actually means is that, with Internet Explorer comi...

 
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Destructoid Community Meetup Photos!

Yeah we're a web site, but we are also a collective of fleshy sacks of meat and blood that play video games together and drink sometimes!  In an effort to centralize our random adventures and always have a place to show random photos a...

 
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Swordfight will get your joystick hard

I stand corrected. This is the weirdest story of the weekend! If you read Joseph Leray's "Nordic New Wave" feature from the other week, you ought to be familiar with Johann Sebastian Joust, a game using accelerometer-powered controllers and...

 
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Namco Bandai pulls penis-flavored SoulCalibur V ad

[Update: So apparently it is not real. Stupid sexy Voldo!] Namco Bandai recently pulled an advert for SoulCalibur V after fans complained that it was too offensive. No, it wasn't the magazine page featuring ginormous breasts. It was an post...

 
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The DTOID Show: Our Top Gaming Moments Of 2011!

Merry Christmas, everybody! I'm gonna keep this short because idiot thought it was a good idea to put a small tree in my house and then leave a bunch of presents sitting under it, so I need to go get rid of that crap before anybody trips on...

 
8===D
While we're all waiting for that hotly anticipated Saints Row: The Third review, it's easy to forget that Volition Inc. has something else coming to market -- the official Saints Row: The Third Dildo Baseball Bat.  Fortu...   read

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Fruit Ninja Kinect unleashes my ninja penis

I refused to rearrange my living room to play Fruit Ninja in my girlfriend's tiny San Francisco flat, so after a few failed attempts at calibration I just jumped behind the sofa, causing my body to turn into a floating severed torso.  ...

 
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When eroges get motion controls

According to Maniac, the Japanese developer Tech Arts is working on a title called 3D Custom Girl, which will be released at the end of October. The women present in the game cover pretty much every single Anime cliché in the book. T...

 
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Skyrim demo sends woman into labor

[Update: Chaz and Stevi joined us in the Outer Heaven chat last night (Chaz has been following Destructoid for years) and we got the chance to talk with the soon-to-be parents. Because of the pregnancy, the wedding (planned for this past we...

 

Victoria MedinaFeatured blogger

I've always been terrible with talking about myself, I want to be witty and give you something fun to read, but I never know quite how to say the things I want to say. At least about myself. I ...

 

Reviews

Kathy Rain"'I'm gonna haul ass to Lollapalooza!'"

 

Battleborn"Ready to Die"

 

Uncharted 4: A Thief's End"Sic parvis magna"

 

SteelSeries Siberia 350 USB headset"Like wearing a hissing cloud"

 

Pocket Card Jockey"Think of them as big greyhounds"

 

Bazaar"No, not that Magic Carpet"

 

Thrustmaster TMX Force Feedback Wheel"Basically the T150, but for Xbox One and PC"

 

Fragments of Him"Great writing and performances, terrible pacing and gameplay"

 

Push Me Pull You"Playing Nightcrawlers"

 

Chronos"I keep getting older, but they stay the same age"

 
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DISCUSSIONS | setupPosts by everyone - post yours

LinkSlayer64

I keep trying to convince people I talk to offline to play Rhythm Thief, and none of them have been Its driving me Its so good, I havent had a game just click with me like this since Undertale! PLUS IT HAS AN ADORABLE ROMANCE SUBPLOT

 
Samsneeze

Birthright Chapter I wonder what my object- Oh route the enemy? Who could have fucking guessed? This game is just so full of At least this map isnt just an open field like the last ten or Save me Reina, youre my only

 
Dr Mel

Because some folks seem to really enjoy this: More Etymology! Weird has taken many meanings, but today simply means The Weird Sisters in Macbeth influenced the modern meaning of oddness and witchery but the word originally meant to

 
Oridan

Son of a I commented that first! Those likes should be mine, goddammit!

 
King Kaiser

Finals Mood:

 
KnickKnackMyWack

So is Sony never going to finish putting their PSOne Classics on the Vita or what?

 
Amna Umen

Exactly one month until Hearts of Iron I am become Senor Erwin

 
Rico the Penguin

sort of news is why you see investors looking towards phones instead of consoles and Which is a shame for me, since phone games tend to be ok at best, awful

 
Snorlaxowns

So I hear Nintendo isnt going to talk about the NX at E3 or in their Nintendo Direct next Havent they learned anything from the Wii U? But I guess its ok, the only people buying it are people who already know it exists

 
Dr Mel

Etymology Fun Facts #2! The word nice was once a negative Meaning mostly dumb it comes from the Latin nescious (ne- not and scious- cut, the root of our modern word It became a positive through favoring timidity in

 
SpielerDad

Today, a Lizard Person pretending to be a human that is my coworker attempted to tell me a They have discovered the human concept of THEY ARE EVOLVING!

 
SpielerDad

So Battlefield 5 is actually going to be called Battlefield 1? That doesnt make any Who did EA consult with before making this decision?

 
Larxinostic

In fairness, we dont act like fools *all* the :p

 
Torchman

I MAY have made Mazinger Z an unstoppable tank for early game SRW Oops?

 
EtosiGiR

Battlefield 1 is a violently fucktarded

 
YoeriB

god I hope the rumors for Battlefield 5 are true, alternate WW1? Yes please!

 
LinkSlayer64

Hellfighter DLC items for Battlefield comments for something additional

 
CJ Andriessen

Attempting to play Castle of Illusion Starring Mickey Mouse on my Kindle Fire tablet makes me hope and pray none of the big three abandon actual buttons on their

 
KingSigy

Battlefield 5 is Battlefield 1!!!!!

 
CoilWhine

The new Battlefield is called Battlefield 1, and takes place in an alternate history World War 1

 
OrochiLeona

When your opponent Rage Quits your Gold Promotion match in Killer Instinct and it be like:

 
SeymourDuncan17

So, Ive just finished the first version of the first of my Persona 3 covers for my upcoming SMT/Persona fan album! And, of all songs, its probably P3s most hit or As a result, its probably my most hit or Feedback, pls! Link in

 
Inquisitive Ravenclaw

My new favorite Mothers Day joke:

 
NakedBigBoss

Just got a 25 Kill Streak as Hanzo in the Overwatch I dont even play these types of What madness is this?!

 
OverlordZetta

Its kind of sad when a topic goes without mention or coverage on a site for a while and youre actually relieved since you know just how it would have turned So much for that,

 
Nathan D

Evangelion movies are on sale at Rightstuf for Mothers I guess they figure the purest form of love between a mother and son is a good old fashioned Oedipus

 
LinkSlayer64

So, me in a

 
Niero

Watching Uncharted 4 commercials before buying a Neo like

 
JcDent

I wish for a Space Station 13 game with better controls and maybe a little less jumbled coding-onset I miss being an assistant and trying to steal EVA suits in every /tg/station best

 

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