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Utterly Pathetic

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Tell me more about your AXE body sprays!
Hey kids, do you want to look at something stupid this morning? Look no further than this juicy slice of video idiocy, courtesy of Battlefield 4 and AXE's pore-closin' smell juice! Together, AXE and BF4 celebrate men and wom... read feature

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Final Fantasy: All the Bravest merchandise f*cking exists


Yes, seriously
Jul 29
Final Fantasy: All the Bravest may well be the sleaziest, scummiest exploitation of a beloved videogame franchise this side of bootlegged Pikachu dolls. The "game" exists solely to leech cash from the "player," but Square Eni... read
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Daily Mail claims Sonic made a boy have a heart attack


'Killed by a videogame'
Jul 17
A 16-year-old boy with Asperger's syndrome and Sudden Arrhythmic Death Syndrome had a heart attack after getting overexcited by Sonic the Hedgehog. The Daily Mail's take on the story? He was, of course, killed by a video... read
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Pitchford encourages Aliens: Colonial Marines PR tactics


The School of Bullshit is open to new students
Jul 01
Randy Pitchford is far from ashamed that Aliens: Colonial Marines looked nowhere near as good in real life as it did in highly scripted showcase demos, going so far as to encourage the industry to do it more. According to the... read
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Dead Rising 3 designed to appeal to Call of Duty fans


UGH UGH UGH UGH UGH
Jun 12
In a GameSpot report, Capcom demonstrated exactly how terminally bloody stupid the mainstream game industry truly is, confessing that Dead Rising 3 is planning to appeal to Call of Duty fans. Because of course, following the ... read
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MS says gamers will buy everything, including Xbox One


What was it Skywalker said about confidence?
May 28
Angry about the Xbox One? Put off by Microsoft's increasingly anti-consumer attitude? Company man Phil Spencer isn't worried. In fact, he's confident you'll buy anything it puts out, because that's what gamers do.  "We b... read
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Microsoft: Xbox One reports 'inaccurate and incomplete'


Vague Microsoft doesn't know why we misunderstand its vague statements
May 25
Microsoft, by way of mouthpiece Major Nelson, has criticized reports on its Xbox One used game policy as "inaccurate and incomplete," seeming to miss the fact they're based entirely on Microsoft's own statements -- which have... read
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Biden: No legal reason why 'violent' games can't be taxed


Vice President tells Reverend Asshole that'd be just fine
May 14
Vice President Joe Biden recently had a meeting with religious leaders to discuss gun control, and violent media was discussed. God forbid we don't obfuscate the gun discussion with more demented strawmen.  Reverend Fran... read
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The sole reason the game exists ... doesn't work
The latest Star Trek release has its fair share of problems -- chief among them being that it's kind of boring -- but PC users are in for an altogether more shocking problem. The online co-op, arguably the entire point of th... read feature

Tomb Raider misses mark photo
Company's biggest recent releases proved unable to meet targets
Despite each game clearing at least a million sales, Square Enix has revealed Tomb Raider, Hitman: Absolution and Sleeping Dogs all failed to meet their targets. This news comes on the same day the company projected a 13 bill... read feature

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Sandy Hook shooter allegedly trying to beat a high score


The only game hurting society is the blame game
Mar 18
An anonymous "law enforcement veteran" claims the Sandy Hook shooter was comparing "high scores" of previous mass murderers and intended to beat a record. According to this totally responsible and not-at-all reckless source, ... read
EA being EA photo
EA being EA

EA censors its own support number on its forums


If nobody calls, it must mean nobody has any complaints!
Mar 16
[Editor's note: As I indicated in the third paragraph, I assumed that blocking the phone number on the forums has likely been a long-standing practice. As ZiggyMoff posted in the comments, Valve does something similar -- repl... read
'Violent games' defense photo
This is what killers have learned to do now
A Washington state teen has been charged with murder, the 14-year-old having shot his mother and father in the head after he was grounded from electronic devices. Nathon Brooks may be tried as an adult for the crime, tho... read feature

Zynga silliness photo
Zynga silliness

Zynga: Copying games is no big deal, don't worry about it


Who has time to be creative when you are providing a "service"?
Mar 12
"Zynga is often accused of copying games, which is mostly true." Those were the words spoken by Dan Porter, General Manager of Zynga New York. It's no secret to anyone with the capacity for rational thought that the social ga... read
Donkey Kong rip-off photo
Donkey Kong rip-off

Donkey Kong also got ripped off for an iOS game


Apple's Seal of Quality
Mar 04
What was that saying again? "When it rains, it pours"? The Android developer who released a game unwittingly starring Yoshi may have been able to cover his ass -- albeit barely -- but there is no way in hell that the mastermi... read
EA micro-transactions photo
EA micro-transactions

EA plans a future of micro-transactions (Update)


Customers apparently 'embracing' EA's shakedown
Feb 27
[Update: According to TheSixthAxis, EA's CFO "misspoke" on the subject of game prices, and is actually expecting games to cost between $49 and $59, rather than the $69 he original talked about. Don't worry, they can always ma... read
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Square Enix confirms new Final Fantasy game for PS4


Says nothing else
Feb 20
... and that's LITERALLY all Square Enix did.  "Be excited for E3," said the publisher.  Yes, an announcement of an announcement. We're heading to a new generation ... but apparently plenty of old behavior is carrying over.  read
Hyrule Historia jerk photo
Hyrule Historia jerk

This ass is selling 40+ copies of Hyrule Historia LE


Wow, what a douche nozzle
Feb 16
I've got myself a copy of the Zelda series bible Hyrule Historia, and it's as amazing as everyone says. However, for highly appealing ancillary game merch such as art books, I like to splurge a little extra on fancy collector... read
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Erin Burnett wants psychologist to say things he doesn't believe
CNN's Erin Burnett last night tried desperately to make a psychologist blame videogames for gun violence, attempting to coerce him into agreeing with her that "violent" games make people more likely to kill.  "There's a... read feature

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US senator definitively claims games are worse than guns


Idiot moron says something idiotically moronic
Jan 30
Many politicians will heavily imply that videogames are far more lethal than weapons designed to be lethal, but U.S. Senator Lamar Alexander has taken the idiot ball and ran for the hills with it clasped in his gnarled t... read
Resident Evil Revelations photo
Resident Evil Revelations

Capcom: No RE Revelations on Vita because REASONS


Can't capture the hi-end home console experience
Jan 24
After dancing around the rumors for a while, Capcom finally announced that Resident Evil Revelations for the 3DS is being ported to PS3, Xbox 360, Wii U, and PC. As inconspicuous as a gushing head wound is PS Vita's total abs... read
Violence debate photo
Says we should all just be quiet while men like him do the talking
Leland Yee, a man famous for lying about videogames and draining huge amounts of tax money in his war on the industry, has suggested those affected by his bullshit should keep their mouths shut. According to the hypocritical ... read feature

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Ralph Nader: videogames are electronic child molesters


Games compared to pedophiles, because that's not irresponsible!
Jan 22
Former politician and consumer advocate Ralph Nader has decided to throw his lot in with the perpetrators of moral panic, writing off videogames as "electronic child molesters." Talk about a socially responsible statemen... read
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NRA launchs iOS game for children aged four and up


Get 'em when they're young
Jan 14
Despite slamming the videogame industry -- and the nature of free expression -- for promoting gun violence, the National Rifle Association isn't afraid to double down on its hypocrisy. The gun advocacy group has released a sh... read
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Videogames now accused of giving children cancer


British tabloid does a British tabloid thing again
Jan 08
British tabloid the Mirror has decided to try something a little different. With its peers implicating videogames in school shootings, this particular rag has a new approach -- blaming games for giving kids cancer. ... read
Anti-games protest photo
Welcome to New Salem
In the wake of the Sandy Hook school shooting, yet more rudderless speculators have seized upon the opportunity to blame violent videogames, because that'll always be easier than trying to solve actual problems. So it is that... read feature

Anti-used-game patent photo
Company of awful ideas has awful idea
We're only a few days into 2013, but Sony's already vying for the Asshole of the Year award in a competitive fashion. It's been discovered that the company has patented a method of "tagging" games played on multiple systems, ... read feature

NRA attacks games photo
Lies and hypocrisy reach record levels
The National Rifle Association today held a press conference to cover its apparently cowardly hide in the wake of the Sandy Hook shooting, which media pundits have already gleefully pinned the blame for on violent videogames.... read feature

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Dynasty Warriors implicated in school shooting


Camp hack n' slash can feed your 'Darkest Thoughts'
Dec 17
As if the circular blame game surrounding violent crime wasn't bad enough, one particular British tabloid has decided to implicate Dynasty Warriors in the Adam Lanza school shooting. Yes, we've moved on from Mass Effect and a... read
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Mass Effect and more attacked over school shooting


Angry mob goes after games when media misleads them
Dec 15
Yesterday, the mainstream media sunk to a new low in its rush to build the latest death circus. Following a horrific school shooting in a Connecticut kindergarten, news sources -- chiefly CNN -- jumped to dangerous speculatio... read
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Racists call BioShock Infinite a white-killing simulator


'Looks like a Jew trying to piddle on old small America'
Dec 14
The BioShock series has never been shy of offering political critique, and BioShock Infinite is biting closer to home than previous installments. The game themes itself around nationalism, racism, and what can happen when the... read
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Nintendo blames Germany for dumb Wii U eShop restrictions


18-rated games locked until 11pm each night
Dec 10
Nintendo has confirmed German law as the reason for a stupid restriction that stops European eShop customers buying 18-rated games like ZombiU during the day. Because Nintendo of Europe is based in Germany, all of Europe is l... read






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