*Destructoid
[ x ] remove ads and scale site to 1080p+
[ x ] remove the ads & get mobile premium
pay whatever you want to upgrade
 
 

#Sexy Time!

Stick Shift photo
Stick Shift

Stick Shift let me jerk off a car

Quivering with anticipation, I slowly insert my keys into his ignition slot. A few moments of anticipation, some stuttering as he turns over. A moment of all encompassing rumbling as I turn him on. The engine is running, my car is ready. I ...

 
Dead or Alive photo
Dead or Alive

Boobs and more boobs in Dead or Alive 5 Last Round video

If the latest Dead or Alive 5 Last Round trailer didn't have enough explosions for you, then check out this not-creepy-at-all video released by PlayStation Japan that could very well allow you to create your own private explosions. In the ...

 
New 3DS impressions
After a Nintendo press event yesterday, I was sent home with a review unit of the New Nintendo 3DS XL. I figured it would be a good idea to record my opening of it so that I could share my trademarked cynical indignation wit...   read

Link's short shorts photo
Link's short shorts

Link can wear skimpy shorts in the new Hyrule Warriors DLC

♪ I believe in miracles, since you came along, you sexy Link. ♪ Next Thursday's Twilight Princess pack for Hyrule Warriors will be one to remember. The DLC adds Twili Midna as a playable character, the Postman costume for Link (...

 
Buff Peter Moore photo
Buff Peter Moore

Here's what EA thinks is worth a press conference

At the EA press conference earlier, Peter Moore stood on stage and showed off various modes in The Sims 4. None of that was important though. This is the most important piece of information to come from the presentation. Behold: buff, shirt...

 
 photo
8===D

Gentlemen's Club: We're giving away tons of Payday 2!

If you've been following my Twitter you know I'm absolutely head over heels for Payday 2. I came in expecting a crime themed Left 4 Dead-lite but what I got was one of my favorite co-op games. There' s something about planning out a heist o...

 
 photo
8===D

Videogame Clubhouse: The Valentine's Day special

It's time for that annual occurrence of public shame and humiliation: Valentine's Day. If that sentence wasn't enough to tip you off then know that I'm not a big fan of the holiday. So what is a guy to do to prepare himself for tomorrow? Pl...

 
8===D
Yesterday, while working on our preview of Lightning Returns: Final Fantasy XIII, I asked those in the office if I should make some kind of quick video to show off some of the costumes I've collected in the game. Everyone in...   read

 photo
8===D

The Gentlemen's Club! The last one... for the year!?

Spencer and I are both two people who get really excited whenever our favorite non-denominational holiday rolls around. We have already been getting into the mood by listening to some of the greatest seasonal song hits from Bing Crosby to C...

 
 photo
8===D

Rad Show: Kinnikuman Muscle Grand Prix Max 2

When I was a child, I use to collect these small flesh colored rubber men. They were pretty odd, but they were all unique. They were called Muscle Men, and I had an army of them. Then my destructive self decided to let them meet their fate ...

 
 photo
8===D

The Gentlemen's Club! Bears wearing armor, that's it

You guys may remember a movie called The Golden Compass. While out searching for games to play on a show Spencer and I came across the game based on this movie. This movie had bears wearing armor...BEARS IN ARMOR. So naturally we picked it ...

 
8===D
As you might've heard yesterday, I am back with Destructoid as full-time Video Warlock. And so, I've wasted absolutely no time whatsoever abusing my newfound power, and here's the first episode of my new show: Sexy Video Gam...   read

 photo
8===D

The Gentlemen's Club! We are ruining our friendship live!

Spencer and I pretty much agree that Mario Party 2 is the best in the series. The characters cosplay depending on what stage they were in! You haven't Mario Partied until you see Donkey Kong in a wizard outfit, that's what I always say. So ...

 
PAX Prime 2013 Photos
Look at that thing. LOOK AT IT. My god we're beautiful. In fact, I'd go so far as to say that Dtoiders are the sexiest people at any industry event. E3? Check. gamescom. Czech. PAX? You bet your ass, check. And because we're ...   read

Killer is Disappointed
I really like Killer is Dead. I want to like it more, but I’m increasingly unsure if I should. Unfortunately, the awful Gigolo missions are a big part of planting the seed of distrust in my mind. Hah! I bet you thought...   read

Senran Kagura Burst photo
Senran Kagura Burst

Senran Kagura Burst will hit retail AND digital in Europe

Gentlemen, get your oils and scented candles ready, because Senran Kagura Burst will be arriving in Europe some time in Q1 2014. Americans received a localization confirmation from XSEED earlier this week, seemingly leaving our brothers acr...

 
Senran Kagura Burst photo
Senran Kagura Burst

XSEED to release Senran Kagura Burst in North America

Senran Kagura Burst is coming to the Nintendo 3DS in North America, XSEED Games has announced. The Tamsoft-developed side-scrolling brawler will launch exclusively via the Nintendo eShop this fall.  A two for one following a group of f...

 
 photo
8===D

Rayman on PC, Incognita, Saints Row IV & More Oculus XXX

Hey guys! I'm back! And here's today's Destructoid Show, gettin' nasty and stupid with its bad self. Rayman Legends is hitting PC, which is great. The Oculus Rift is supported by a game about sexy maids, Saints Row IV has a season pass (bo...

 
Ma-Ma-myyyyy! photo
Ma-Ma-myyyyy!

Did Peach just orgasm?

Oh my God... what is happening in those first 10 seconds!? Nintendo suddenly realized that it forgot to advertise the Wii U and has scrambled to put together a set of TV commercials. But the one for New Super Luigi U is just... take a look...

 
Wii Fit Trainer photo
Wii Fit Trainer

Japanese artists think Wii Fit Trainer is smokin'

The fourth Smash Bros. was only announced last week, but fans the world over have already contributed a wealth of art based on the three new characters. However, Japanese art community pixiv has taken a particularly big shine to Wii Fit Tra...

 
8===D
Hello boys and girls, here's today's Destructoid Show for you to rub your dirty little eyeballs all over. Mmmm. Yes, just like that. Bethesda is done with Skyrim, and they've now begun teasing their next exciting mystery pro...   read

Skullgirls photo
Skullgirls

Creator of Skullgirls porn officially joins Lab Zero

[Update: Skullgirls lead designer Mike Z has contacted Destructoid to say that ZONE's pornographic work was not considered during the hiring process. The writer apologizes for not making it clear that this was speculation.] T...

 
Do the Mario photo
Do the Mario

Speed-painted Mario wants you to check his package

8bit Ego artist Josh Summana, who recently shared a time-lapse video of his killer Donkey Kong painting, has clued me into a new piece as part of his "Heroes" line. If you haven't already, do check out his "Villains" line as well. What str...

 
 photo
8===D

Who are the hottest men in the games industry?

It's disgusting how men continue to be objectified in the games industry. Here's our latest example: meningameshotornot.tumblr.com Despite all their hard work, award winning Tweets, and awesome review-score-giving abilities, this Tumblr acc...

 
Sexy man for Rayman photo
Sexy man for Rayman

Man with sexy voice croons about Rayman Legends' delay

The low-level echelon of so-called "gamers" have said their piece about Ubisoft's decision to delay Rayman Legends for the sake of porting it to the 360 and PS3. Now it's time for a real man's man to speak softly into your ear and say all ...

 
Donkey Kong photo
Donkey Kong

So sexy Donkey Kong time-lapse painting

Damn, Donkey, you so fine! Maybe peel my banana sometime! Artist Josh Summana has been creating wonderful pieces like above and filming the process for his media company 8bit Ego. He's got a whole mess of these dudes, such as this badass v...

 
 photo
8===D

Boob Wars: Colonial Marines, HD Wind Waker & RIP THQ

Hey gang, here's the recording of today's live Destructoid Show! Nintendo Direct happened, so we talked about all of that, and SimCity has new curved roads in it, I hope you're ready for that. That new Aliens: Colonial Marines trailer...

 
Chiptunes photo
Chiptunes

Game Boy sex! Parallel Processing by Danimal Cannon & Zef

I had a chance to meet the bald and beautiful Danimal Cannon (Roots, Armcannon, Metroid Metal) at MAGFest this year, and I've gotta say, he's one chill dude -- lounging at the merch table in a night robe, what a rebel! Still, for a man as h...

 
 photo
8===D

The DTOID Show: VR Porno, Tomb Raider & Dark Souls

It's Destructoid's sexiest episode ever! Well, Sessiest, anyway. Tara's out sick, so Adam Sessler's filling in. News includes interactive porno for the Oculus Rift by way of a company called Sinful Robot, some new Tomb Raider gameplay, and ...

 
 photo
8===D

Final Fantasy fans rank the series hottest beefcakes

Square Enix polled 800+ Japanese Final Fantasy fans on which male characters really beef their cakes. Unsurprisingly, beefcake supremos known for making happy pants tents across the globe Squall and Cloud placed high at 2 and 5. The #1 spot...

 

Allistair PinsofFeatured blogger

His name is Allistair. He lives in Austin. If he is ever in your city, please come visit him in his minivan. He has have many fresh diapers. No worries!

 

Reviews

Bazaar"No, not that Magic Carpet"

 

Thrustmaster TMX Force Feedback Wheel"Basically the T150, but for Xbox One and PC"

 

Fragments of Him"Great writing and performances, terrible pacing and gameplay"

 

Push Me Pull You"Playing Nightcrawlers"

 

Chronos"I keep getting older, but they stay the same age"

 

The Climb"You rock, rock"

 

Hitman: Sapienza"Molto buono"

 

Ray Gigant"Challenge not included"

 

Soda Drinker Pro"Like explaining an inside joke to someone else"

 
More Reviews
 

  Premium

Huge Reader
 

Previews

More
 

Videos

More
 

US + UK Podcasts!

More
 

Only on Destructoid

More
 

DISCUSSIONS | setupPosts by everyone - post yours

Steven Hansen

45 minutes

 
medicamecanica

After thinking it was a moba, I finally understand Overwatch and I think its going to be my multiplayer game Favorite character so far? Mercy, thats right Im a fuckin

 
ObliqueZombie

Yeah, Overwatch is fucking fun as hell! But a bit hard on Not awkward for every character, but some are obviously gimped with a controller

 
Occams

Lordy, Overwatch is fun! Bastion is gun mode as a defender if very

 
Fuzunga

I hope Overwarch finishes downloading before the beta period is

 
Parismio

I have Shantae and the pirates curse for wiiu Who wants it? I figured itd be gone by

 
Dangus Taargus

I just spent an hour setting my Steam Controller to treat only the bottom half of my DS emulator window as a mouse zone for the touchscreen in a Big Picture It kinda works better than I thought it but still doesnt really feel

 
KnickKnackMyWack

People seem pretty insistent on the idea that Zelda NX will be vastly superior to Wii why? When OoT was ported to GCN all it had was Master TP on Wii was almost no different from Unless its a remaster it wont be significantly

 
Gundy

Im gonna miss I never enjoyed getting my ass handed to me so

 
Torchman

God damn I want to be so mad at how little screen time Gunbuster itself has gotten and the pacing of the But then I find out Gunbuster is a combination And then it gets a hype battle versus an YOURE TEARING ME APART GAINAX

 
Memolestas

Ive been working a lot in YOLO Animals, but peoples responses worth it:) Take a look at the game:

 
ACESandElGHTS

In celebration of my finally having finished MGS V: full motion Quiet/ Stefanie Joosten

 
siddartha85

I didnt expect to like Overwatch this Anybody else using Lucio? Im shocked at how much I now enjoy using He seemed so lame at But hes secretly

 
CoilWhine

Played and streamed some more Yakuza 3 (that shibe is so cute!), made a few memes for YouTube but nothing really

 
Torchman

When your title mech doesnt show up for over half the shows length, maybe, juuuust MAYBE, you shouldve had more Too rushed for some moments to have any real Mechs been pretty badass so far

 
Inquisitive Ravenclaw

Im physically/emotionally exhausted and fed up with

 
Parismio

Since I now have Runbow, it occurs to me that no one has mentioned its new DLC and that Lilac from Freedom Planet is a free character!

 
Sr Churros

Saw this on Twitter, had to share

 
Sarah Jane Farron

:( Today has been pretty bad for Really dislike Nioh and stuck with terrible players on my teams on both Overwatch and TF2 with the latter taking an hour to figure out how to launch it without it I say! Sleep and onwards to tomorrow!

 
Pixie The Fairy

Thing Im trying to sort from the Avengers movies: Everyone is absolved for succumbing to mind control except for Tony And Scarlett Witch sends Hulk to terrorize a Loki gets out of warping minds with a But hes my brothe from

 
Parismio

Alright i got two codes Wiiu versions of affordable space adventures and Shante: Pirates Curse

 
Nathan D

Oh shit, its only

 
worm jerky

Just discovered the Yakuza series after buying 5 on sale and finally putting some real time in with 4, which I got with PSPlus a while Now I dont even care about anything else its like Im trapped in Yakuzaville!!

 
AvtrSpirit

While debate rages on over who is best waifu and best robotu in Overwatch, its abundantly clear that Hanzo is best

 
lewness

Was nervous because I thought you botched getting the Morion Blade if you didnt get Yuria to talk about Orbeck before finishing the Usurpation Turns out you can still do I did do it right after killing Dragonslayer so that helped?

 
Madoka Malika

done with all my classes for the semester! SUMMER TIME IS FINALLY HERE!!

 
Mike Wallace

I cant seem to summon up any interest in I like the look, the music, the upbeat approach, and Road Hog is my kinda But I just dont feel All I see is another Titanfall, another Heroes of the

 
Lawman

Current status:

 
Jinx 01

PSA the May 5th Open Beta of Overwatch seems to have already started, at least on Though so far Ive only done the tutorial

 

Community Blogs Latest

 

Frequently asked

What the f--- is...
All about us
What's social mode/how to switch?
It's in your preferences
Where's the dark theme?
Also in your preferences
Why did I get banned?
Thou shalt douche lightly
Can I buy an ad/sponsor?
Strictly from third parties
Bro, do you even lift, ethically?
We are very transparent
Will you protect me from evil?
Yes, but your common sense helps
Who owns the blogs I post?
You own your stuff, we license it

Get in touch

Editorial contacts
Meet our staff
Emotional fondling
[email protected]
Something broken?
[email protected]
Story idea?
[email protected]
Something else?
Get in touch


LOVE DTOID? BUY US A BEER Our staff will thank you. Liver, not so much



ADS & SPONSORS Please contact Crave Online, thanks!



DTOID STATS (RECENT 30 DAY) As tracked by our CDN. Learn more about Destructoid in numbers


Stats


 
 
 
Destructoid Logo