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#Satire

Aurai photo
Aurai

Could Aurai be competition for Oculus Rift?

Sure, Oculus is making big waves at CES right now, but some lower-profile tech is also on display. Making its debut today is Aurai, another device that fits on your face and reminds me of LeVar Burton's character from Star Trek. Let's break...

 
Kojima photo
Kojima

Konami gives Hideo Kojima an entire hour of outdoor time (Fauxclusive)

Saying it's not the monster the media has made it out to be, Konami confirmed today it let Hideo Kojima out of his cell for one whole hour as a reward for his win at The Game Awards. Kojima and his team took home the award for Best Action/A...

 
Review Drama photo
Review Drama

Fragile gamer says she just can't handle Destructoid reviews anymore (Fauxclusive)

Wiping a stream of tears from her cheek, New Jersey gamer Claudia Bennet confirmed today she can no longer deal with reviews from Destructoid.com. "I just don't understand," Bennet cried while clutching her copy of Fallout 4. "Why... why do...

 
Resident Evil photo
Resident Evil

Did the Umbrella Corporation help write the TPP? (Fauxclusive)

The full text of the Trans Pacific Partnership, the massive trade deal that will finally turn the Pacific Rim into one giant corporatocracy, was released yesterday to an expected amount of skepticism. While government officials in all of ...

 
Halolz
Halo 5: Guardians is a video game much like any other; some parts of it are real good, others not so much. Take the story, for example, this part of Halo 5 is pretty nice. There's a reason why we gave the game ...   read

Cash money photo
Cash money

PewDiePie nearly has enough money to buy his soul back (Fauxclusive)

Earlier this week Forbes Magazine listed the ten richest celebrities on YouTube and to the surprise of absolutely no one, gaming personality PewDiePie ranked as the top YouTube earner with more than $12 million dollars made over the la...

 
Pokemon Grindr photo
Pokemon Grindr

Apparently you can get laid via gay hookup apps by using Pokemon quotes

Ask any gay guy you know with a smartphone if he knows what Grindr is and he will tell you all about the popular hookup app for men that have sex with men; from the unsolicited dick pics, to the creepy married men trying to pay for sex. Eve...

 
Legend of Zelda photo
Legend of Zelda

Is The Legend of Zelda: Tri Force Heroes too formulaic? (Fauxclusive)

The Legend of Zelda: Tri Force Heroes is the first Zelda game for the 3DS to utilize co-operative play in a series that has traditionally been a single-player experience. So why does it feel so familiar? I played Tri Force Heroes this past ...

 
Fungal Asshole photo
Fungal Asshole

Indie dev's angry rant demonstrates the stress after being Kickstarted

Having never heard of Elysian Shadows -- a 2D RPG that was Kickstarted for PC, mobile, Ouya, and even Dreamcast -- I stumbled across the above video of one of the developers, Falco Girgis, seemingly going off. Apparently one of the te...

 
Law junk photo
Law junk

Every video game delayed in the UK (Fauxclusive)

Following the enactment of the Consumer Rights Act 2015, which guarantees a refund for any digital video game purchase if they are found to be faulty, not as described or not a quality product; every video game publisher announced this mo...

 
The New Normal photo
The New Normal

Major game studios ask that you just lower your standards from now on (Fauxclusive)

Following reports from video game QA testers that the industry hasn’t learned from the errors of the past, publishers and developers around the world today asked gamers to just lower their standards from here on out. Instead of trying...

 
Apple TV photo
Apple TV

New Apple TV promises to bring gaming all the way into 2006 (Fauxclusive)

As predicted for nearly a decade, Tim Cook announced at Apple's September Event that the next iteration of the Apple TV will be able to play games. With a new motion-sensing controller and titles such as Guitar Hero hitting the system, Appl...

 
Notch Tweets photo
Notch Tweets

Markus 'Notch' Persson posts vague tweets just to fuck with media (Fauxclusive)

Markus “Notch” Persson opened up on Twitter this weekend, posting several tweets lamenting that life as an celebrity isn't all it's cracked up to be. The tweets became a news sensation as several high-profile websites painted Pe...

 
New Patent photo
New Patent

Nintendo files patent for first sales-less console (Fauxclusive)

The discovery of two new patents filed by gaming giant Nintendo earlier this year may give us a peek into the future of the company. The first, as reported on Saturday, is for a disc-less home console. The second patent, which was discovere...

 
Don't speak photo
Don't speak

Nintendo will now duct tape employee mouths shut before they go home for the day (Fauxclusive)

Following the dismissal of Nintendo Treehouse employee Chris Pranger over comments he made in a Part-Time Gamers podcast, Nintendo of America told employees that beginning next week the company will start physically taping their mouths sh...

 
Pro Game Journo photo
Pro Game Journo

Video games journalist is total big shot at high school reunion (Fauxclusive)

Students attending the Monroe High School Class of 2005 10-Year Reunion say the most memorable aspect of the night was neither the catering by In-N-Out Burger nor the Wolfmother cover band. No, these students say the thing they’ll r...

 
Kickstarter photo
Kickstarter

Keiji Inafune: Is it too soon to start my next Kickstarter? (Fauxclusive)

Game developer Keiji Inafune asked himself today if it was too soon for him to start his next Kickstarter campaign. In the minutes following Red Ash's Kickstarter failure, Inafune paced around his office mentally going through his back cata...

 
Rocket League photo
Rocket League

Live action Rocket League game ends in tragedy (Fauxclusive)

The bodies are still being pulled from the flaming wreckage of an 8-car accident after Tennessee teens tried to recreate the hit video game Rocket League. Organized by 16-year-old Bryan Song of Big Sandy, the game took place in an empty l...

 
Pixels on Rotten Tomatoes photo
Pixels on Rotten Tomatoes

Some jerk ruined Pixels' perfect zero Rotten Tomatoes score

Look, we all knew from watching the trailer that Adam Sandler's 1980s video game-themed Pixels was going to be bad. That much was clear. So when Twitter was abuzz this morning about its zero percent Rotten Tomatoes score, nobody was su...

 
Game changer photo
Game changer

Upcoming PhysX update introduces state of the art dick physics (Fauxclusive)

Game developers around the world will soon be able to create the most naturalistic penises ever when NVIDIA releases the next update for its popular PhysX SDK. Codenamed “Woody Womb Pecker,” the update is being called a game-c...

 
Animal Crossing photo
Animal Crossing

Fauxlusive: Nookling Junction dumps Trump

Trump, the Republican frontrunner for the 2016 Presidential nomination, has had a bit of a rough week after NBC and Macy's both parted ways with the reality TV star in light of comments he made about illegal immigrants. Today ther...

 
Mega64 nails it again photo
Mega64 nails it again

Entitled terrorists at Mega64 demand Nintendo cancel Metroid Prime: Federation Force

Mega64 never ceases to entertain me and its just-released Metroid Prime: Federation Force petition spoof is proof of that. I mentioned the petition during E3 and some people took it that I was attacking all Metroid fans and not j...

 
Xbox One photo
Xbox One

Introducing the Xbox One for women

One of the big takeaways from this year’s E3 is that women are a bigger presence in gaming than ever before. More than half of all games on display at this year’s show let players step in the shoes of a female character, inclu...

 
We eat here
Electronic Entertainment Expo, commonly known as E3, is an annual trade fair for the video game industry, presented by the Entertainment Software Association (ESA). It is used by many video game publishers and accessory manuf...   read

Nintendo E3 photo
Nintendo E3

Nintendo lost E3 because it failed to exceed my unreasonably high expectations

For me E3 didn’t start until Tuesday evening when, after a day of avoiding spoilers at work, I was able to sit down at my computer, open a bottle of wine and enjoy the annual Nintendo E3 Digital Event. As a life-long gamer with a pe...

 
 photo
8===D
 
Assassin's Creed E3 photo
Assassin's Creed E3

Ubisoft scrambling to make Assassin's Creed E3 demo more playable than final game

With just a few days until the start of E3, sources within Ubisoft say the company is doing everything possible to make the E3 demo of Assassin’s Creed: Syndicate the ultimate gaming experience -- unlike the broken, bug-filled turd of...

 
E3 2015 photo
E3 2015

E3 2015: A look back at the most memorable moments of E3

We are a week away from E3 2015, which is promising to be the most exciting yet. An estimated 50,000 people are expected to attend the three-day event to try out the latest and greatest video games from the top developers and publishers in ...

 
Fake Nintendo E3 Plans photo
Fake Nintendo E3 Plans

Randomly generate leaked Nintendo E3 plans

It is almost time for E3 2015 which means lots of leaks are about to start pouring onto the internet, most of which are fake. Brian Lee made a website to save hoaxers some time as it randomly generates an itinerary for the Nintendo Digital ...

 
Sony E3 photo
Sony E3

Sony remastering its 2010 E3 press conference for 2015

After admitting it has nothing worthwhile to show for the rest of 2015, Sony today confirmed rumors it will be remastering its 2010 press conference for this year’s E3. Called “Sony 2010 Press Conference: The DE3finitive&nb...

 

CJ AndriessenFeatured blogger

Just what the internet needs, yet another white guy writing about video games.

 

Reviews

Hitman: Sapienza"Molto buono"

 

The Climb"You rock, rock"

 

Soda Drinker Pro"Like explaining an inside joke to someone else"

 

King's Quest: Once Upon a Climb"A tale of two princesses"

 

Stories: The Path of Destinies"Choose your own adventure/death"

 

Koi"Fish out of water"

 

Severed"Cut my life into pieces / Slash into me"

 

ZEN Pinball 2: Aliens vs. Pinball"Not the Alien's most terrifying incarnation"

 

Alienation"Welcome to Earth"

 
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DISCUSSIONS | setupPosts by everyone - post yours

Gamemaniac3434
 
hlarge4

Alienation is a fun time, yall

 
Parismio

Mmmm Yes! Quality

 
KingSigy

I forgot how fucking awesome DJ Hero I still cant quite 5 star all the songs on Expert in the first game, but I always preferred the

 
Gundy

I hate training new Not because I think its a pain, but because my job is 90% There is almost nothing to train the new guys in until they get the permissions to use the ordering

 
Torchman

Real talk Do want to write an Ask Me Anything blog, to help boredom during the Although I may ignore touchy LEAVE YOUR QUESTIONS IN THE

 
Parismio

Fuck you Pontiff! Now for that other boss in the Hope I can stil

 
Samsneeze

Actual footage from Hoshido mere moments

 
DSBrad

Anyone still playing Guitar Hero Live out there? Is there anyway to get leaderboards to load Take a good 10-15 seconds on each song to see them for me on

 
Fuzunga

Ill be honest, Im not really into cat I just already happened to like Blake and then it turned out that she had cat Thats how they get you, I

 
jak2364

TFW a Steam game works perfectly right up until the refund period expires, then decides to start fucking Fuck you Black Ops

 
iam16bit

Current Status

 
Nathan D

My bladed princess is doing quite I freaking love the

 
Inquisitive Ravenclaw

done! I tried something different with the hair highlight shimmies and the foot Ill probably upload this again when more people are on, but for does it look?

 
Sir Shenanigans

Want to watch Akira again, but I realize I actually have to get cracking on this Nioh demo if I want to unlock that Its

 
StriderHoang

I just got the Templar asterisk in Bravely Second but still have no idea what kind of synergy I can utilize for the Kaiser

 
lewness

Sunbro-ing Ancient Wyverns so much fun: You run, I hit Wait, 2 guys drop down here No, this way! STAY HERE, Ill kite the big guy away from the fire projectile I even rest at the plunging platform and make him/her do the honors while I watch

 
Jonathan Holmes

All you catgirl fans will be happy in a couple months

 
Kaleido Ruby

Is Sans hard?

 
OrochiLeona

Paws for

 
Lawman

This burn set the whole state of California on

 
Sarah Jane Farron

Have house to myself this weekend so I decided to have a bath for the first time at least 15 years I think? I always just shower I was in there about an hour and I just feel so good right Ill have to do that more So :)

 
Jinx 01

PSA, I had The Art of Atari on my Amazon Wishlist just to and the price just went down from to So if you were interested in pretty good Its not coming out till October, Link in

 
Alphadeus

Going through a difficult Pretty fucking pissed off at some shit that happened last Enough to leave the Discord But Im back until I get kicked, or I leave Heres a link to Surviving the Fuck Fight

 
DSBrad

Walker Star Fox levels are boarderline Why? Its like driving a tank in early PS2

 
Parismio

Oh my Boreal valley is my new

 
ZombZ

All you cat girl lovers have so many waifus to choose just dont know the struggle of a snake girl

 
Fuzunga

Furtoid

 
DSBrad

Beyond Two I such an odd Seems like Heavy Rain meets Life Is Strange meets Metal I think I liked it?

 
Nathan D

Its a strange experience playing Bloodborne with All That She Wants stuck in your Also, got my

 

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