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Satire

Mobile Gear Solid

Konami proves mobile is the future of gaming with Metal Gear Solid V iOS port


Apple Watch version under consideration
May 18
Last week, Konami announced its intention to focus on mobile gaming going forward, saying the platform is the future of the industry. This morning the company proved that even the most complicated console game can feel righ... read
Cooking drama

Male gamer faces unwanted catcalls, ogling at Cooking Mama competition


#MenGameToo
May 11
A recent Cooking Mama tournament in Portland, Oregon was mired in controversy after a series of posts on reddit exposed the rampant sexism that happened towards male competitors at the event. Kyle Phillips, who flew from In... read
Fake Game News

Madden 16 simulation predicts which players will be arrested this season


Hide their kids, hide their wives
May 04
The launch of Madden 16 is still months away and while many of the new game mechanics and features are being kept a secret, the developers today did reveal one addition to the storied franchise that will tell gamers which NFL... read
Warner Bros. satire

Warner Bros.: How do we keep getting away with this shit?


Because Batman, duh!
May 01
Noting that 300,000 people and counting have already pre-ordered Batman: Arkham Knight, Warner Bros. Interactive Entertainment announced today that it can’t believe that it’s still able to get away with this shi... read
Reverse-Censoring

Publisher reverse-censoring upcoming FPS for Japanese audiences


Bigger guns, bigger boobs, bigger everything!
Apr 27
On July 15, gamers in the U.S. and Europe will get their hands on the highly anticipated first-person shooter The Kill Squad. The title, developed by Gunner Games, will also see a release in Japan but players there will have ... read
C.A.T. PRO X

Mad Catz' newest peripheral is an actual, living cat


Introducing the C.A.T. PRO X
Mar 03
Mad Catz unveiled its latest gaming peripheral today, the revolutionary C.A.T. PRO X. The hot new accessory is a small, domestic mammal that can be used to cradle a mobile phone, PlayStation Vita, or other similar device... read
Promoted blog

Kickstarter launched for spiritual successor to EarthBound, Mach Rider, SimEarth


Promoted from our Community Blogs
Feb 14
[Just in time for Valentine's Day. -Mr Andy Dixon] Fans of Ecco the Dolphin, Mega Man Legends, Duck Hunt and Advent Rising should head to Kickstarter right away to throw their support behind a new campaign for a game that is a spiritual successor to those titles and any other game you one time said you’d want a sequel to in a chatroom or comment thread. read
Amiibo

Nintendo: Next wave of amiibo to be eBay exclusive


More news at 11
Feb 12
Newsbrief: Nintendo has unveiled a new plan to curb soaring amiibo prices on the secondary market, inking an exclusive new partnership with eBay seller xXxNoScopeXxX. The move is designed to cut out predatory middle... read
Disclosure

I hope this video satisfies your desire for disclosure


It does satisfy my need for NITRO-FUELED MAYHEM
Jan 26
Here's the full triple-scoop disclosure bottom line. Alessandro and I went to cover this preview event for The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt last week. I was late to be added to the list, so we knew going in that we'd have to sh... read
Chinese Holmes

Jonathan Holmes’ face broadcast to entirety of China


Promoted from our Community Blogs!
Dec 16
[A wild Holmes appears! --Mr Andy Dixon] After rising up the ranks at Destructoid and becoming Editor-in-Chief, Jonathan Holmes sets his eyes on China. The country is growing in both economy and power, but what Mr. Holmes' real goal is is currently unconfirmed. His recent appearance on the Chinese news channel CCTV 13 opens up room for speculation. read
Promoted Blog

New Xbox One game simulates what it’s like to own a PS4


Promoted from our Community Blogs!
Oct 31
[Dtoid community blogger Its About To Get Gay In Here is quickly becoming our resident satirist blogger. Here is a lovely example of them bringing both the funk and the noise. Want to see your own stuff appear on the front pa... read
Sarkeesian

Here's Anita Sarkeesian speaking on the Colbert Report


'I'm well liked'
Oct 30
Objective videogame journalism time! Anita Sarkeesian was on The Colbert Report last night. Here are some videos of that. The one above shows Sarkeesian's interview with Colbert. The one below is Colbert's introduction segme... read
Steam report

Steam user delighted by crap in Steam inventory


Oct 29
Upon booting up Steam this morning, Internet denizen Tiffany Park discovered a notification on the program indicating a number of new items were located in her Steam inventory. "I got really excited," Park told Dest... read
Special teabag report

Report: Gamer teabags opponent after narrow victory


Victim unsure as to why, psychologist explains
Oct 13
An Xbox live user contacted Destructoid this week with a complaint of being excessively teabagged upon completion of an online multiplayer match in a popular action game. "I'm not sure why he was doing it," said victim Jeff M... read
The moment all you college dudes have been waiting for is here! So make sure your boss isn't looking and get ready to steamboat the weasel, because I need the pageviews and my gallery is the tits!  read feature

We've gotten our hands on some verifiable official E3 2014 leaks and secrets and we're spilling the beans. Find out what's in store from Microsoft, Nintendo, Ubisoft, Epic Games, EA, and all the other big companies making important announcements. Get a sneak peek at news about Battlefield 5, a new Nintendo MMO, Destiny, and all every other E3 reveal and announcement. read feature

Jimquisition travels to another time and another place, examining a world taken over by gamer guys and their testosterone-addled inanity. Something must be done! Fortunately, your ol' pal Jim Sterling is here to take those insincere culture thieves down a peg, and put gaming in the hands of those to whom it belongs. Welcome to the Sarkybastardverse, which is definitely a real thing now. read feature

Battlefield69

EA buys Battlefield13-20.com? Pfff, we own Battlefield69


Next Gen is balls
May 08
BREAKING: DESTRUCTOID LEADS THE ARMS RACE IN STUPID MILITARY DOMAIN NAMES San Francisco, CA - Somewhere near Philz Coffee and 24th Street It appears that EA has registered www.Battlefield13.com through www.Battlefield20.com, ... read
Indie game vs NRA

The Best Amendment calls out the NRA


"Hell is other people. But what if other people are you?"
Apr 07
In an effort to poke holes in NRA vice president Wayne LaPierre's belief that only a "good guy" with a gun can stop a "bad guy" with a gun, Paolo Pedercini has created The Best Amendment, a satirical PC game, report... read
[Destructoid turns 7 next week! Here's our most popular article from January 2009, one of Jim's first features. Check out more of our earlier works in our Golden Archives. -Niero] People have been hunched over their PCs, firi... read feature

 
original

The Call of Sarkeesian

Mar 08 // Jim Sterling
I have of late been subject to some strange occurrences. Some may even say ... frightening ... circumstances. Indeed, the things I have seen make me so very grateful for the inability of the human mind to truly understan... read feature

Jimquisition: Emotions, Polygons, and Ellen Page


David Cage is your daddy
Mar 07
This week, Father of Dreams and visionary game director David Cage hosts the show and tells us all about emotion. Emotion. Emotion. What is it like to feel? What can videogames learn from film? How well does David know Ellen Page? Watch this soul-scorching video and prepare to be impressed. Emotion. read
Mortal Kombat has another live-action movie in the works, and it's probably not going to be very good. That doesn't mean it has to be awful, though. The right blend of actors can turn any film, no matter how cynical, into a c... read feature

[Destructoid turns 7 on March 16, 2013! I'm celebrating early by repairing some of my favorite articles from our Wordpress days. You'll be able to browse this original collection soon -- "Destructoid's Golden Archives" is her... read feature

Games journalism criticism is a young field of business. As with any emerging practice it often likes to talk about itself, not because games writers are pretentious masturbatory bastards, but because we care to do the best j... read feature

Reddit uncovers the PS4 controller's true functionality


The shocking truth
Feb 14
Priceless. [Artwork by Farrow on NeoGaf. Thanks, Cybii] read
Earlier this week, Nintendo's Shigeru Miyamoto claimed his company had failed to "communicate the value" of the Wii U to consumers, a turn of phrase that struck me as quite amusing. As a fan of It's Always Sunny in Phila... read feature

There are few boxes as anticipated as BioShock Infinite, the long awaited box to prequels BioShock Limited Edition and BioShock for the PlayStation 3. Irrational Games, known as 2K Boston during BioShock's release, made waves... read feature

The Wii U has had a chance to settle in North America, and just recently hit shelves in Europe. The question on everybody's lips is, of course -- is the Wii U the best home console in the world, and should I throw away every ... read feature

How Xbox Live is blatantly better than PSN, animated


Thomas Truong brings the brilliance once more
Nov 16
Thomas Truong, the man responsible for the excellent New Adventures of Podtoid, has been working on another project, and it's quite glorious. He's gone and taken a section of an old article I wrote, How Xbox Live is Blatantl... read
Mountain Dew

Review: Halo 4: King of the Hill Fueled by Mountain Dew


Dewlicious!
Oct 31
I'll admit to not being the world's biggest Halo fan, so it took me by surprise to find out that Microsoft had changed Halo 4's name since I last saw it at E3, deciding instead to call it Halo 4: King of the Hill Powered by M... read
This year, two reigning incumbents are looking to win themselves a second term of power. I am, of course, talking about president-elect of the United States, Barack Obama, and president-man of the eighth console gen... read feature







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