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#Satire

Crunch Time photo
Crunch Time

Family says goodbye to father as game development hits crunch time (Fauxclusive)

Admitting he didn't know when he was going to see them again, 3D environment artist Kevin Huang gave his kids an extra long hug this morning, before heading out to face development crunch time. Mouthing "I love you" to his wife, Huang wiped...

 
Leaky pipes photo
Leaky pipes

Mega64 spills the beans on God of War 4

Mega64 is still around and just as great as ever, as seen above in this "leaked" God of War 4 footage. Did you know in the upcoming game, not only does Kratos take on Norse mythology, but all the other popular religions too? I just wa...

 
90s Reference photo
90s Reference

Arms manufacturer in hot water over Super Scope-inspired rocket launcher (Fauxclusive)

A North Carolina arms manufacturer is facing backlash today after it posted a picture on Instagram of its new shoulder mounted rocket launcher modeled after the SNES Super Scope. The man-portable air-defense-system, known as the Blitzkrieg ...

 
Rock Band photo
Rock Band

Harmonix announces bake sale to fund Rock Band PC port (Fauxclusive)

Following the failure of its well-publicized Fig campaign, developer Harmonix announced today it is not giving up its plan to bring the "popular" Rock Band video game to PC. If crowdfunding won't work, the company says it will turn to a tri...

 
Publicity Suicide photo
Publicity Suicide

Digital Homicide hopes to use lawsuit winnings for game development classes (Fauxclusive)

Steam developer Digital Homicide Studios made headlines last week when it announced it was suing caustic YouTube personality, former Destructoid reviews editor, and owner of the world's largest collection of t-shirts you get from winning ea...

 
Nintendo photo
Nintendo

Nintendo fondly remembers a time when it wasn't told to go fuck itself (Fauxclusive)

While welcoming new employees to the Nintendo Tokyo Office, Shigeru Miyamoto fondly recalled a time in the company’s history when it wasn’t told go fuck itself whenever it announced a new game. Miyamoto, best known for creating ...

 
HTC Vive photo
HTC Vive

Potential HTC Vive customer wonders how much kidney will fetch on the black market (Fauxclusive)

Following the announcement of international pricing for the HTC Vive, Brighton resident and VR gaming enthusiast Aaron Finnick began poking the left side of his body trying to guess how much his kidney would be worth on the open market. The...

 
Sports photo
Sports

Playing sports video games increases the risk of playing real sports

Most gamers scoff at the suggestion that video games can influence real life behavior. "I've been playing violent video games my whole life and I turned out all right!" we say, citing anecdotal evidence as fact. Well, sorry to say, a new st...

 
Kickfail photo
Kickfail

Honest Kickstarter details exactly how it'll waste your money (Fauxclusive)

Following allegations of behind-the-scenes financial misconduct with the crowdfunded Ant Simulator game, the team behind a newly-launched Kickstarter campaign is now promising complete transparency with how it will ultimately blow...

 
Bad Updates photo
Bad Updates

New Vita update physically attacks anyone who tries to play with it (Fauxclusive)

In its continuing efforts to convince fans to finally let go of the PlayStation Vita, Sony released an update for the device earlier this week that caused a wide variety of problems, including making it nearly impossible to connect to the P...

 
eSports photo
eSports

ESPN interviewing busty blondes for eSports sideline reporter gig (Fauxclusive)

Much to the chagrin of many traditional sports fans, ESPN is betting big on the future of eSports. The network has already hired reporters to cover the eSports beat, will broadcast this month’s Halo Championship Tour at the X Games, a...

 
Madden Ultimate Team photo
Madden Ultimate Team

California dad betting on big lottery win to pay son's Xbox One bill (Fauxclusive)

Millions of people across the country will be watching tonight when the winning numbers for the biggest Powerball jackpot in history are announced. California father Gerald Present says he hopes the $150 he spent on tickets is enough t...

 
Aurai photo
Aurai

Could Aurai be competition for Oculus Rift?

Sure, Oculus is making big waves at CES right now, but some lower-profile tech is also on display. Making its debut today is Aurai, another device that fits on your face and reminds me of LeVar Burton's character from Star Trek. Let's break...

 
Kojima photo
Kojima

Konami gives Hideo Kojima an entire hour of outdoor time (Fauxclusive)

Saying it's not the monster the media has made it out to be, Konami confirmed today it let Hideo Kojima out of his cell for one whole hour as a reward for his win at The Game Awards. Kojima and his team took home the award for Best Action/A...

 
Review Drama photo
Review Drama

Fragile gamer says she just can't handle Destructoid reviews anymore (Fauxclusive)

Wiping a stream of tears from her cheek, New Jersey gamer Claudia Bennet confirmed today she can no longer deal with reviews from Destructoid.com. "I just don't understand," Bennet cried while clutching her copy of Fallout 4. "Why... why do...

 
Resident Evil photo
Resident Evil

Did the Umbrella Corporation help write the TPP? (Fauxclusive)

The full text of the Trans Pacific Partnership, the massive trade deal that will finally turn the Pacific Rim into one giant corporatocracy, was released yesterday to an expected amount of skepticism. While government officials in all of ...

 
Halolz
Halo 5: Guardians is a video game much like any other; some parts of it are real good, others not so much. Take the story, for example, this part of Halo 5 is pretty nice. There's a reason why we gave the game ...   read

Cash money photo
Cash money

PewDiePie nearly has enough money to buy his soul back (Fauxclusive)

Earlier this week Forbes Magazine listed the ten richest celebrities on YouTube and to the surprise of absolutely no one, gaming personality PewDiePie ranked as the top YouTube earner with more than $12 million dollars made over the la...

 
Pokemon Grindr photo
Pokemon Grindr

Apparently you can get laid via gay hookup apps by using Pokemon quotes

Ask any gay guy you know with a smartphone if he knows what Grindr is and he will tell you all about the popular hookup app for men that have sex with men; from the unsolicited dick pics, to the creepy married men trying to pay for sex. Eve...

 
Legend of Zelda photo
Legend of Zelda

Is The Legend of Zelda: Tri Force Heroes too formulaic? (Fauxclusive)

The Legend of Zelda: Tri Force Heroes is the first Zelda game for the 3DS to utilize co-operative play in a series that has traditionally been a single-player experience. So why does it feel so familiar? I played Tri Force Heroes this past ...

 
Fungal Asshole photo
Fungal Asshole

Indie dev's angry rant demonstrates the stress after being Kickstarted

Having never heard of Elysian Shadows -- a 2D RPG that was Kickstarted for PC, mobile, Ouya, and even Dreamcast -- I stumbled across the above video of one of the developers, Falco Girgis, seemingly going off. Apparently one of the te...

 
Law junk photo
Law junk

Every video game delayed in the UK (Fauxclusive)

Following the enactment of the Consumer Rights Act 2015, which guarantees a refund for any digital video game purchase if they are found to be faulty, not as described or not a quality product; every video game publisher announced this mo...

 
The New Normal photo
The New Normal

Major game studios ask that you just lower your standards from now on (Fauxclusive)

Following reports from video game QA testers that the industry hasn’t learned from the errors of the past, publishers and developers around the world today asked gamers to just lower their standards from here on out. Instead of trying...

 
Apple TV photo
Apple TV

New Apple TV promises to bring gaming all the way into 2006 (Fauxclusive)

As predicted for nearly a decade, Tim Cook announced at Apple's September Event that the next iteration of the Apple TV will be able to play games. With a new motion-sensing controller and titles such as Guitar Hero hitting the system, Appl...

 
Notch Tweets photo
Notch Tweets

Markus 'Notch' Persson posts vague tweets just to fuck with media (Fauxclusive)

Markus “Notch” Persson opened up on Twitter this weekend, posting several tweets lamenting that life as an celebrity isn't all it's cracked up to be. The tweets became a news sensation as several high-profile websites painted Pe...

 
New Patent photo
New Patent

Nintendo files patent for first sales-less console (Fauxclusive)

The discovery of two new patents filed by gaming giant Nintendo earlier this year may give us a peek into the future of the company. The first, as reported on Saturday, is for a disc-less home console. The second patent, which was discovere...

 
Don't speak photo
Don't speak

Nintendo will now duct tape employee mouths shut before they go home for the day (Fauxclusive)

Following the dismissal of Nintendo Treehouse employee Chris Pranger over comments he made in a Part-Time Gamers podcast, Nintendo of America told employees that beginning next week the company will start physically taping their mouths sh...

 
Pro Game Journo photo
Pro Game Journo

Video games journalist is total big shot at high school reunion (Fauxclusive)

Students attending the Monroe High School Class of 2005 10-Year Reunion say the most memorable aspect of the night was neither the catering by In-N-Out Burger nor the Wolfmother cover band. No, these students say the thing they’ll r...

 
Kickstarter photo
Kickstarter

Keiji Inafune: Is it too soon to start my next Kickstarter? (Fauxclusive)

Game developer Keiji Inafune asked himself today if it was too soon for him to start his next Kickstarter campaign. In the minutes following Red Ash's Kickstarter failure, Inafune paced around his office mentally going through his back cata...

 
Rocket League photo
Rocket League

Live action Rocket League game ends in tragedy (Fauxclusive)

The bodies are still being pulled from the flaming wreckage of an 8-car accident after Tennessee teens tried to recreate the hit video game Rocket League. Organized by 16-year-old Bryan Song of Big Sandy, the game took place in an empty l...

 

CJ AndriessenFeatured blogger

Just what the internet needs, yet another white guy writing about video games.

 

Reviews

Hitman: Sapienza"Molto buono"

 

The Climb"You rock, rock"

 

Soda Drinker Pro"Like explaining an inside joke to someone else"

 

King's Quest: Once Upon a Climb"A tale of two princesses"

 

Stories: The Path of Destinies"Choose your own adventure/death"

 

Koi"Fish out of water"

 

Severed"Cut my life into pieces / Slash into me"

 

ZEN Pinball 2: Aliens vs. Pinball"Not the Alien's most terrifying incarnation"

 

Alienation"Welcome to Earth"

 
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DISCUSSIONS | setupPosts by everyone - post yours

Nekrosys

Going to be honest; after playing around a little more with Star Fox Zero, I actually find myself both adjusting to and liking the control The tutorial was kind of crap, but the game itself is nowhere near as bad as some of the reviews have

 
jak2364

Tfw Valve still gives you a refund even though you went over 2 hours played on a buggy piece of

 
WryGuy

That awkward, awkward moment when you realize you should not let your neighbor ever find out youre half

 
Ein on Shrooms

Why is resting bitch face such a turn on? (Plus so is Aubrey

 
OverlordZetta

Ive officially had enough internet for the

 
AvtrSpirit

Im And Im just really feeling the transformative powers of Sure, in real life Im not all But right now Im a super hot Ghost killing newbs in Heroes of the I rock!

 
Dreamweaver

I did it! I finally killed that bastard Pontiff in Dark Souls III! Admittedly it took me over two dozen tries, and I think I got extremely lucky near the end when he didnt attack me much, but I solod it at SL 41 with only +2 weapons, no shields! Yay! :D

 
OverlordZetta

Panty and Stocking aired in Six years I swear it doesnt feel like its been that Guys, I think I need to lie down for a Have some expletives while I contemplate my

 
Gamemaniac3434
 
hlarge4

Alienation is a fun time, yall

 
Parismio

Mmmm Yes! Quality

 
KingSigy

I forgot how fucking awesome DJ Hero I still cant quite 5 star all the songs on Expert in the first game, but I always preferred the

 
Gundy

I hate training new Not because I think its a pain, but because my job is 90% There is almost nothing to train the new guys in until they get the permissions to use the ordering

 
Torchman

Real talk Do want to write an Ask Me Anything blog, to help boredom during the Although I may ignore touchy LEAVE YOUR QUESTIONS IN THE

 
Parismio

Fuck you Pontiff! Now for that other boss in the Hope I can stil

 
Samsneeze

Actual footage from Hoshido mere moments

 
DSBrad

Anyone still playing Guitar Hero Live out there? Is there anyway to get leaderboards to load Take a good 10-15 seconds on each song to see them for me on

 
Fuzunga

Ill be honest, Im not really into cat I just already happened to like Blake and then it turned out that she had cat Thats how they get you, I

 
jak2364

TFW a Steam game works perfectly right up until the refund period expires, then decides to start fucking Fuck you Black Ops

 
iam16bit

Current Status

 
Nathan D

My bladed princess is doing quite I freaking love the

 
Inquisitive Ravenclaw

done! I tried something different with the hair highlight shimmies and the foot Ill probably upload this again when more people are on, but for does it look?

 
Sir Shenanigans

Want to watch Akira again, but I realize I actually have to get cracking on this Nioh demo if I want to unlock that Its

 
StriderHoang

I just got the Templar asterisk in Bravely Second but still have no idea what kind of synergy I can utilize for the Kaiser

 
lewness

Sunbro-ing Ancient Wyverns so much fun: You run, I hit Wait, 2 guys drop down here No, this way! STAY HERE, Ill kite the big guy away from the fire projectile I even rest at the plunging platform and make him/her do the honors while I watch

 
Jonathan Holmes

All you catgirl fans will be happy in a couple months

 
Kaleido Ruby

Is Sans hard?

 
OrochiLeona

Paws for

 
Lawman

This burn set the whole state of California on

 
Sarah Jane Farron

Have house to myself this weekend so I decided to have a bath for the first time at least 15 years I think? I always just shower I was in there about an hour and I just feel so good right Ill have to do that more So :)

 

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