Oh look, more bloody poems for your damn eyeholes.
You are totally allowed to look at this video by clicking on it and watching it until completion. It's okay, I won't mind.
I won't tell.
This week, Yahtzee details that growing videogame tradition, the need to press "X" in order to do anything and everything. Meanwhile, your buddy Jim Sterling pays tribute to one of the finest actors ever born, Dean "Once Was Superman For A Bit" Cain.
Oh, Dean Cain. You're so beautiful.
This week, Yahtzee tackles ludonarrative dissonance and puts forth a most eloquent explanation. Meanwhile, I ... well ... look at the title. You know what this is about. You know.
And you love it.
Your ol' chums Jim and Yahtzee are back with more rhymes for your face. This week, Yahtzee talks about the rigors of guard duty, while I share revitalizing secrets with you. Kweh!
As always, the human condition is explored by the pair of us.
Listen up, butt preserves! You're about to experience an awakening at the deft hands of your sexual magistrates, Jim n' Yahtzee! This week, the ZP MC is talking about droughts, while your red-tied fatty boom-boom gets emotional.
Fun times, up your holes!
Oh for crying out funk! It's time for another bloody set of poems from those two British people who do talking about games sometimes! This week, Yahtzee talks about open worlds, while I discuss closed hearts. It is a time of hope and sorrow, in our heart's souls.
The human condition.
This week, your good buddies Yahtzee n' Jim both take a turn for the horrific. There's a loving ode to Slender Man, coupled with the boasting of the nefarious Straw Beast. The eldritch terrors that lie within are not for the faint of heart.
You have been warned. Wooooaaaaahhhhhh!
This week, both poems get pretty damn dark. Yahtzee talks of animals and crossings, while your ol' pal here tells a tale of passion and revenge.
There is a lot of emotion in these poems, and I think we all can learn a little bit about ourselves and the human condition, for God's sake.
You remember last week when I said I've given up and I'll just start getting weird with my poems? So, that's happened now.
This week, Yahtzee pays tribute to Rogue Legacy, while I pay a different sort of tribute to a different sort of rogue. Because that's what I'm doing from now on, and I choose to blame everybody else.
Welcome to another episode of Rhymedown Spectacular, AKA Yahtzee Won This Week! Having grown accustomed to failing a competition that is not a competition, I think I'm gonna just start getting weird with these poems.
Not this week, though. This week you're invited to the Shooters Ball, and get to hear my darkest confessions. Enjoy!
Can you contain your excitement? It's time for another Rhymedown Spectacular with Yahtzee and ol' Jimmy! This week, Mr. Croshaw bans guns in the name of sanity, while I banish mediocrity to the Hell Pits where it belongs.
Oh, we are good at doing our word things.
It's time for your good friends Yahtzee n' Sterling to provide more lovely verse that you may have in your ears. This week, Yahtzee tells us all the things we can't do now, while I recite something with very deep metaphors that shall puzzle sages for eons.
There is no metaphor.
This week on Rhymedown Spectacular, Yahtzee turns his mind toward the wonderful world of limericks, while your ol' pal Jim Sterling tells a tale of a wandering cheese peddler.
As always, deep philosophical meaning and steamy commentary is hidden behind layers of beauty and elegance. You love every filthy second of it.
On this week's Rhymedown Spectacular, Yahtzee takes up the pirate life while I sing a bardic ditty for your pleasure. As you might expect, Microsoft and its Xbox One chicanery is a big part of the adventure.
Also, Jack Tretton is a folk hero. Poetry proves it.
Gaming's sexiest wordsmiths are back once more with verse to melt your ear-holes. This week, we're talking about loading times and Sonic the Hedgehog. You cannot contain your excitement, for God's sake!
As always, this is the best poetry in the world and you cannot argue with that.
Your ol' pals Jim and Yahtzee are back, and this week they're lending verse to Thief 4 and Animal Crossing. It's all very artistic stuff, and involves the human condition.
We are professional poets now, and we'll say this to all our dates when we go on dates with hot people.
Time for more poetry from your best buddies, Jim n' Yahtzee. This week our literary brains pick on manly men's videogames and pay homage to Dark Souls.
Lovely writing, brutal sarcasm, and death. Lots of death. What's not to love?
Your ol' pals Jim and Yahtzee are back with some more poetic justice. This week, your ears can be teased with the tale of Always John and Fear's Farewell. They are poems, you see. About videogames.
A few months back, I was chatting with Susan Arendt over at The Escapist about doing some sort of videogame poetry. It was a very vulgar idea. Yahtzee of Zero Punctuation was also mulling over a poetry-themed produ...