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Max outs Kevin Spacey as sassy and mean while we play Advanced Warfare photo
Max outs Kevin Spacey as sassy and mean while we play Advanced Warfare
by Bill Zoeker

Max and I were trudging along in Call of Duty: Advanced Warfare, when I shared a gut feeling that Kevin Spacey is not a very nice person. Max proceeded to share a story related by an ex-girlfriend, who had her adoration of Spacey crushed by that rude, kissy man.

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Hey, it's the first hour of Far Cry 4! photo
Hey, it's the first hour of Far Cry 4!
by Max Scoville



Far Cry 4 is a game I've been looking forward to since ages ago -- and now, it's finally something I can play. Poorly. Here you go, watch us flounder. Go on, we're a mess.

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We played Assassin's Creed Unity, and it was doomed from the start photo
We played Assassin's Creed Unity, and it was doomed from the start
by Bill Zoeker

Oh boy... Max and I jumped into Assassin's Creed Unity. Max started out cautiously excited at what this new iteration might bring, while I have never been at all interested in the series. It's not long before both of our sentiments landed at the same astonished disappointment. Trust me, it only gets uglier from here.

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Hardline 36: The land of broken games photo
Hardline 36: The land of broken games
by Jordan Devore

This week on Hardline, Steven, Brett, and I spoke about Avalanche finally confirming Just Cause 3 after all those leaks, Brett's review of Assassin's Creed Rogue, and funny faceless and infinite-jump glitches in Assassin's Creed Unity and Sonic Boom: Rise of Lyric.

The highlight of this episode is by far Steven's cat.

For the audio-only episode, you can subscribe on iTunes and RSS or download directly.

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2:30 PM on 11.13.2014

Holiday clearance! All Dtoid shirts now $12.95

All t-shirts on the Destructoid store have been dropped down to $12.95! All the shirts are on clearance, meaning once they're out of print you won't be able to get these shirts again! We're making way for something new, ...

Hamza CTZ Aziz



While playing CoD: Advanced Warfare, we posit that Nintendo hates condoms photo
While playing CoD: Advanced Warfare, we posit that Nintendo hates condoms
by Bill Zoeker

We're now reaching the point in our Call of Duty: Advanced Warfare play session where Max thinks critically about the game's narrative mechanics and then we talk about condoms for like five minutes.

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Max and I have hippie liberal hipster opinions about CoD: Advanced Warfare photo
Max and I have hippie liberal hipster opinions about CoD: Advanced Warfare
by Bill Zoeker

Max and I were playing Call of Duty: Advanced Warfare while hungover, and started devolving into dumber and dumber jokes, and then Max busts out a term like "jingoistic proto-fascism" because we're a couple of San Francisco hipsters who definitely don't have informed, individually refined opinions about things because the world is a vampire and everything is fake.

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We were playing CoD: Advanced Warfare, but we wanted to hang with Stephan at the skate park photo
We were playing CoD: Advanced Warfare, but we wanted to hang with Stephan at the skate park
by Bill Zoeker

Max and I continue to fumble around in Call of Duty: Advanced Warfare, as our minds wander to some predictably stupid places. We talk about meeting an imaginary teen named Stephan at the skate park, how to find "The Boob," and aggravatingly stupid YouTube comments.

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Talking about Gilmore Girls while playing Call of Duty: Advanced Warfare just doesn't seem right photo
Talking about Gilmore Girls while playing Call of Duty: Advanced Warfare just doesn't seem right
by Bill Zoeker

Max and I continue giving the benefit of the doubt to Call of Duty: Advanced Warfare. Max started talking about a crazy theory he has connecting the television shows Gilmore Girls and Californication because his brain was polluted by a combination of oysters and vodka. Don't do booze, kids.

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Majora's Mask is my favorite game about being a young adult photo
Majora's Mask is my favorite game about being a young adult
by Jonathan Holmes

Ocarina of Time is one of those incredibly well made games that just never clicked with me. Maybe it's because it was too much like A Link to the Past, except everything looks worse and takes longer to do. Maybe it's because the game's theme of being a child and an adult at the same time is something I can't relate with. Either way, I've tried repeatedly to finish the game and I always lose interest well before the end.

I have the exact opposite relationship with Majora's Mask. Like Earthbound, it's a game that I have not been able to stop playing since it first came out over 15 years ago. I think about it pretty regularly, and talk about with people who aren't at all interested in the topic at least once a month because I can't help it.

Majora's Mask is a game about do-overs. It actually feels like a do-over of the game that came before it. Ocarina wanted to be about being an adult, but in the end, it was just about being in an adult's body while living like a child, experiencing the best of both worlds. Majora's Mask does the opposite. It's about having to live like an adult and being treated like a child. It's about learning from your mistakes, being empathetic, and knowing that every second you're on this planet is another second closer to your inevitable death. 

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Max and I suck at Advanced Warfare, but that never stops us from doing anything photo
Max and I suck at Advanced Warfare, but that never stops us from doing anything
by Bill Zoeker

Max and I got our hands on a copy of Call of Duty: Advanced Warfare. We figured we should probably play it because people like to watch men get sweaty in videogames or whatever. Anyway, we recorded this the day after Max's birthday, so we were both pretty hungover, which served to exacerbate our lack of shooter skill and the incoherence of our jokes. Enjoy.

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Hardline 35: Majora's Mask 3DS, plural amiibo, and Paris smells like candy photo
Hardline 35: Majora's Mask 3DS, plural amiibo, and Paris smells like candy
by Jordan Devore

[This episode of Hardline is sponsored by The Crew. We're giving away a silly amount of codes for this weekend's beta on PlayStation 4 and Xbox One right now. Claim yours here.]

It's been a while since Brett, Steven, and I have been in the same virtual room together to chat about games 'n' stuff so our reunion on this week's Hardline got out of control.

We talked about Majora's Mask for 3DS, amiibo (not amiibos), Game Boy Advances, The Witcher 3's free DLC, Steven's garbage- and candy-filled trip to Paris Games Week and Game Connection, and these culturally significant photos.

For the audio-only episode, you can subscribe on iTunes and RSS or download directly.

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3:25 PM on 11.07.2014

Blizzard fails to announce Rock & Roll Racing 2

Over at Blizzcon today, Blizzard announced its first new IP in 17 years, Overwatch. However, the studio also failed to announce any tentative plans to release Rock & Roll Racing 2, a cartoonish adversarial racing game fea...

Nic Rowen

7:00 PM on 11.06.2014

Bayonetta 2 is giving me the Tetris effect

Bayonetta kicked my ass last week, but I finished it (after giving in and switching the difficulty setting to Easy). I survived Gracious and Glorious, and sent you-know-who hurtling into the you-know-what. Damn, what a cool g...

Jordan Devore





6:00 PM on 11.04.2014

Bloggers Wanted: Giving Thanks

[This month's Dtoid Community Assignment is all about being thankful!] November is a great month. The weather is nicer. The leaves turn. Things slow down a bit in the waking world while we all gear up for the holidays. The on...

Occams



Villains should be eating sandwiches in Shadow Warrior photo
Villains should be eating sandwiches in Shadow Warrior
by Bill Zoeker

Max and I wrap up our dip into Shadow Warrior on PS4. We make weird sex noises, talk about Bone Thugz-N-Harmony, and, I, as always, end up declaring I want to watch Demolition Man.

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