Destructoid Golden Archives

Videogames provide the perfect tools for pure escapism or utter powerlessness. As a fully interactive media, the player can be as involved as the developer in the fate of our characters, or we can be utterly impotent in swayi...
You've doubtless read by now the "official" top ten games of the decade, or indeed any of the top ten game lists that have spilled onto the Internet as the so-called "naughties" ends and 2010 ushers in yet another arbitrarily...
Every week, "Reverend" Anthony Burch talks about aspects of game design and gamer culture in his weekly "Rev Rant" video series. Admittedly, this week's rant turned out a lot more angry and weirdly serious than the other one...
Killzone 2 launched exclusively for the PlayStation 3 this Friday, generating much bias from biased people who are biased. It also sold quite a few copies and has been setting the PlayStation Network afire with grenade spam a...
[Editor's note: neveranything shares with us a very heartwarming story on how videogames helped him make new friends for his Monthly Musing piece. -- CTZ] Throughout elementary and middle school, I was the textbook definitio...
So you aspire to be a roadblock in the path of every hero, a hulking shadow that ominously hangs over the hopes and dreams of normal people, the guy that makes babies squall at your very approach. I know you. You've turned ma...
[Editor's note: Tony Ponce, which we only knew as "megaStryke" when this was published, looks at three games that have destroyed people's bodies for his A Time to Destroy Monthly Musing. In 2012 he joined the Dtoid team as an...
Being a gamer over 30 means that you likely fell in love with gaming a long time ago. For me, that affair started around age 6, as my uncle showed me the Atari and I prowled through his Commodore 64 collection, wondering what...
I submit evidence of one man, which I am going to use to paint all World of Warcraft players as subhuman scumworms who deserve to be shot. This creature owns 36 WoW accounts, plays them at the same time on 11 computers, and g...
As readers will know, I recently confessed my closet Pokémon fandom and am celebrating my newfound liberation with a selection of Pokémon-themed articles for those who also like to throw hard metal balls at fluf...
Believe it or not, I really like Pokémon. I've been a big fan of the series since I was a child, but even though my interest in the series diminished as I got older, I still find myself dipping back into the monster-ca...
There really is nothing quite like a good old-fashioned action game. From God of War to Bujingai, they are the bread and butter of a lifelong gamer's diet. A third-person mixture of combat and exploration, it is a genre absol...
We have had many useful commandments for loyal readers over the course of our Ten Golden Rules series. From learning how to be an online gamer and fanboy, to crafting a successful JRPG or Survival Horror, there have been fail...
What industry can truly call itself an industry without fanboys? Those who prove themselves obsessively loyal to any product or corporation can be found among many communities, and nowhere do they flourish more freely than wi...
So, I'm reading Topher's Ikaruga review and the comments resulting from it. Other than the usual half-ironic cries of "biased!" and "Anthony would have given this a 4!", I saw many repetitions of one particular sentiment tha...
By our very nature, we as people are drawn to the dark. We may not like to admit it, but our macabre instincts thirst for blood, as we find ourselves morbidly drawn to brutality and violence. It is no surprise that horror is ...
The JRPG is a venerable and well respected genre, having survived almost unchanged for decades and supported by a community of hardcore obsessives that drool over every statistic and sweeping, globe trotting storyline that co...
Artsy wonks like myself love to wax philosophic about the potential that games have in terms of narration or eliciting meaningful, emotional player responses. We laud innovative game designers for forcing us to make morally a...
In general, our videogame protagonists need a set context for their lives before being thrust into action and adventure. Mario can't just be a dude with a goomba-stomping fetish; he has to be a plumber. Marcus Fenix can't jus...
[Updated with the 2005 and 2010 version! Remember Nex? This odd illustration still ranks amongst the most popular in the Destructoid Golden Archive; stories which I'm slowly restoring from our old publishing sy...
As most of my Destructoid compatriots know, I await RPGs with intriguing storylines more than any other type of game. I enjoy nothing more than to sink myself into a rich plot, get to know the characters, and most of all, exp...
Modding a game to make it glitch out and do freaky shit is one thing. Modding a game and turning it into an amazing work of art is quite another. Take, for instance, these clips of various user created worlds in Super Mar...
A few weeks ago I tackled the issue of why videogame endings are so hard to execute effectively. So as not to be a Negative Nancy incapable of pointing out excellence in videogaming narratives, the following is a list, howeve...
What if tomorrow morning you woke up and your life was exactly like your favorite video game? What would you look forward to doing first? Would you drive down the I-90 in your Pontiac Sunfire at 100mph with no regard for traf...
Drinking while gaming is such a stupid thing to do, and yet I know most people this site will have tried it. It's a match made in heaven when it comes to entertaining. But playing games drunk on your own is depressing and sad...
Editor's Note: Hey all, DMV here. Atheistium's written an interesting rant on the whole girl gamer issue, which has always been a hot topic. So far, it's been a real hit on the community blogs, so give this Destructoid veteran some love and read her story. Enjoy! I finally want to get my issues with the "girl gamer" culture to rest. This will be my final rant on it all... finally.
"Merchandising, merchandising, where the real money from the movie is made. Spaceballs: The T-shirt, Spaceballs: The Coloring Book, Spaceballs: The Lunch Box, Spaceballs: the Breakfast Cereal, Spaceballs: the Flame Thrower.&r...
  File this under the "why in the hell did I not think of this?!" category. Intimate Control was created by Jennifer Chowdhury for her class thesis project. The aim of the game is to help bring couples together for a...
I'm going to preface this by saying that I've never actually cleaned a pipe with pipe cleaners. As a small child Last week, however, I did manage to spell my name with them, with each letter corresponding to one pipe cleaner....
The word hardcore when applied to gamers tends to paint a picture of a person who plays games like Halo, Grand Theft Auto, and Gears of War, not someone who sits with his little Nintendo DS and plays hours of Cooking Mama or ...
If you are ever in a situation where your little sister complains about a Mario game being too hard, please just slap her and show her this video. Created by a random somebody in Taiwan (my vote is for escaped mental patient...
More Nintendo trivia for you. Did you know the Super Mario Bros. theme has lyrics? Of course, the theme is apparently called "Go Go Mario" and is originally in Japanese but lucky for us the poster of the video above was kind...
[This month Destructoid celebrates 7 friggin' years of whatever it is we do! Here's the most popular article of this weekend, back in 2007, and easily one of my favorite story headlines of all time. Check our Golden Archi...
Omigod guys, you'll never believe what happened. I found a PS3 for ten bucks -- that's right, a PlayStation 3, normally sold for upwards of $500, procured for a single slim Hamilton. It's weird, though. The discs won't fit an...
[Editor's note: What you are about to read is a true story of an industry veteran and loyal Destructoid reader who has been in the business for some time. Names have been left out to protect the identity of those involved, bu...
As I was playing Hotel Dusk the other day, I was thinking that Kyle Hyde is a bit of a dick. Not bad enough to actually annoy you, but enough for you to notice he could probably use an enema. It set off a conversation between...
Game endings are generally an occasion for players to reflect on both the good and bad times they endured throughout their gaming experience. Other times, endings can make you wonder how the hell you were tricked into buying...
Oh, you crazy Japanese developers.  Here's a clip sure to piss off half of the internet and make the other half run for lotion and a tissue. The object of Sexy Beach 3 is apparently to interrupt a bikini woman'...
The above video surfaced recently of a young Jack Black promoting Pitfall in a television commercial. In the subsequent years, he would eat four people and a small bus, and balloon into one of America's premier comic darlings. F*** Her Gently indeed! 
As Morgan Freeman, Brad Pitt, and (spoiler) Kevin Spacey taught us so many years ago, the seven deadly sins represent the most selfish, harmful, and destructive aspects of humankind. All of the evil, wasteful parts of human e...