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#Destructoid Golden Archives

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Hot Mess: 10 Years of Destructoid party photos

There's something about the Mr. Destructoid helmet that brings out the animal in people. I've seen sheepish tiny McChicken-like boys turn into fearless crotch-thrusters, running up on stages and doing what three shots of Jager could not aff...

 
Look, we drink photo
Look, we drink

10 Years of Destructoid: Get krunk with Mr. Destructoid

[This article was originally published in 2010 -- We miss you, Hollie!] It is a well known fact that a large percentage of the Destructoid community likes to drink. I may or may not have been escorted home drunk by Niero at PAX in fact. S...

 
Deck my Pokeballs
Happy holidays, HAPPY HOLIDAYS!  It is that time of year when you annoy entertain your family, friends, neighbors, co-workers, and unsuspecting opponents on Xbox Live with your holiday music. As a professional at annoying entertaining, I figured I'd gift you this virtual mixtape of my favorite ditties to liven up the mood wherever you are.   read

Bowie lookalikes
[From our Golden Archives: here's our most popular story of the day back in 2009. -N] David Bowie, born David Robert Jones on January 8, 1947, is an English musician, actor, producer and arranger. Having been active in the en...   read

Super Mario movie photo
Super Mario movie

Why the Super Mario movie is an underappreciated masterpiece

[Ed. note: El Great Burcho published this on February 2007. It's one of our Golden favorites.] No, I'm not being ironic, or corny, or funny. Neither am I drunk, stoned, nor under the influence of outside forces requiring me to like the Supe...

 
Why Penis Why photo
Why Penis Why

Save Ryu from looking generic in Street Fighter IV: A fanboy's top 10 wishes

Editor's note: In an internal staff email us old-timers were just laughing about the absurdity of this super fanboy article I wrote back in 2007 voicing my disgust with the redesigned Street Fighter. I've since grown accustomed to the new a...

 
Where are they now? photo
Where are they now?

Where are they now? Ex-Destructoid editors in the biz

As some of you may have heard by now, Dale North (our editor in chief from 2010-2014) will be moving on to sunnier, though less 'toidy skies. You can read that announcement here. It's no secret that Dale and I have definitely punched each ...

 
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Golden Archives: The Destructoid children's alphabet book

[Something cool we just remembered from our Golden Archives. Love this! -Niero] Last year, GuitarAtomik sang, Rio McCarthy made a bunch of awesome, Necros was racy, itemforty drew the staff, RockVillian made a prologue, CannibalCalvin was c...

 
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Destructoid Golden Classics: The Mega Man Maker

By popular request, I've dug through old hard drives and present to you Destructoid's classic Mega Man maker!  This little app was originally published during PAX 2008 during a panel we gave about how important it is to create original...

 
Haggar for President photo
Haggar for President

Citizens, unite: vote Mike Haggar

[Another gem from Destructoid's Golden Archives, this our most popular story of April 2008] As you’ve no doubt been following the prospective U.S. presidential nominees, you must be asking yourself several questions: Who should I...

 
Everyone is gay
[Destructoid turns 7 next week! Here's our most popular article from January 2009, one of Jim's first features. Check out more of our earlier works in our Golden Archives. -Niero] People have been hunched over their PCs, firi...   read

Game quotes
[This month, Destructoid turns 7 years old! Here's the top article of this weekend back in 2008. You can browse more of these in our Golden Archives. Nostalgic yet? -Niero] Call me a weakling, but it's been more or less forev...   read

Mario is sinister
[Destructoid turns 7 on March 16, 2013! I'm celebrating early by repairing some of my favorite articles from our Wordpress days. You'll be able to browse this original collection soon -- "Destructoid's Golden Archives" is her...   read

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Ramblings of a colorblind gamer

You may or may not know that I am red-green colorblind. Money looks grey to me, pink looks white, brown looks green. No big thing. Since I was born colorblind, I have no frame of reference for how the world is "supposed" to look and, theref...

 
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Videogames that make you feel godly

Videogames provide the perfect tools for pure escapism or utter powerlessness. As a fully interactive media, the player can be as involved as the developer in the fate of our characters, or we can be utterly impotent in swaying our destiny,...

 
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The REAL top ten games of the decade

You've doubtless read by now the "official" top ten games of the decade, or indeed any of the top ten game lists that have spilled onto the Internet as the so-called "naughties" ends and 2010 ushers in yet another arbitrarily assigned ten-y...

 
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Rev Rant: Donate

Every week, "Reverend" Anthony Burch talks about aspects of game design and gamer culture in his weekly "Rev Rant" video series. Admittedly, this week's rant turned out a lot more angry and weirdly serious than the other ones I've done -- ...

 
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How Killzone 2 is blatantly better than Halo 3

Killzone 2 launched exclusively for the PlayStation 3 this Friday, generating much bias from biased people who are biased. It also sold quite a few copies and has been setting the PlayStation Network afire with grenade spam and shotgun ramp...

 
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From our community  

Playing With Others: Gaining acceptance

[Editor's note: neveranything shares with us a very heartwarming story on how videogames helped him make new friends for his Monthly Musing piece. -- CTZ] Throughout elementary and middle school, I was the textbook definition of a bully ta...

 
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The Videogame Bosses' Guide to Success

So you aspire to be a roadblock in the path of every hero, a hulking shadow that ominously hangs over the hopes and dreams of normal people, the guy that makes babies squall at your very approach. I know you. You've turned many a pleasant g...

 
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From our community  

A Time to Destroy: The games that destroy us

[Editor's note: Tony Ponce, which we only knew as "megaStryke" when this was published, looks at three games that have destroyed people's bodies for his A Time to Destroy Monthly Musing. In 2012 he joined the Dtoid team as an associate edit...

 
8===D
Being a gamer over 30 means that you likely fell in love with gaming a long time ago. For me, that affair started around age 6, as my uncle showed me the Atari and I prowled through his Commodore 64 collection, wondering what...   read

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Hail the freak: 36 WoW accounts, played simultaneously. By a freak

I submit evidence of one man, which I am going to use to paint all World of Warcraft players as subhuman scumworms who deserve to be shot. This creature owns 36 WoW accounts, plays them at the same time on 11 computers, and goes on solo rai...

 
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Thirty rubbish Pokemon: Red/Blue edition

As readers will know, I recently confessed my closet Pokémon fandom and am celebrating my newfound liberation with a selection of Pokémon-themed articles for those who also like to throw hard metal balls at fluffy wild animals...

 
8===D
Believe it or not, I really like Pokémon. I've been a big fan of the series since I was a child, but even though my interest in the series diminished as I got older, I still find myself dipping back into the monster-ca...   read

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Ten Golden Rules of action games

There really is nothing quite like a good old-fashioned action game. From God of War to Bujingai, they are the bread and butter of a lifelong gamer's diet. A third-person mixture of combat and exploration, it is a genre absolutely packed fu...

 
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Ten Golden Rules of the anti-videogames lobby

We have had many useful commandments for loyal readers over the course of our Ten Golden Rules series. From learning how to be an online gamer and fanboy, to crafting a successful JRPG or Survival Horror, there have been failsafe doctrines ...

 
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Ten golden rules of videogame fanboyism

What industry can truly call itself an industry without fanboys? Those who prove themselves obsessively loyal to any product or corporation can be found among many communities, and nowhere do they flourish more freely than within gamer cult...

 
8===D
So, I'm reading Topher's Ikaruga review and the comments resulting from it. Other than the usual half-ironic cries of "biased!" and "Anthony would have given this a 4!", I saw many repetitions of one particular sentiment tha...   read

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Ten golden rules of survival horror

By our very nature, we as people are drawn to the dark. We may not like to admit it, but our macabre instincts thirst for blood, as we find ourselves morbidly drawn to brutality and violence. It is no surprise that horror is such a popular ...

 

Jim SterlingFeatured blogger

Destructoid reviews editor, responsible for running and maintaining the cutting edge videogame critique that people ignore because all they want to see are the scores at the end. Also a regular f...

 

Reviews

Kathy Rain"'I'm gonna haul ass to Lollapalooza!'"

 

Battleborn"Ready to Die"

 

Uncharted 4: A Thief's End"Sic parvis magna"

 

SteelSeries Siberia 350 USB headset"Like wearing a hissing cloud"

 

Pocket Card Jockey"Think of them as big greyhounds"

 

Bazaar"No, not that Magic Carpet"

 

Thrustmaster TMX Force Feedback Wheel"Basically the T150, but for Xbox One and PC"

 

Fragments of Him"Great writing and performances, terrible pacing and gameplay"

 

Push Me Pull You"Playing Nightcrawlers"

 

Chronos"I keep getting older, but they stay the same age"

 
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DISCUSSIONS | setupPosts by everyone - post yours

OverlordZetta

Its kind of sad when a topic goes without mention or coverage on a site for a while and youre actually relieved since you know just how it would have turned So much for that,

 
Nathan D

Evangelion movies are on sale at Rightstuf for Mothers I guess they figure the purest form of love between a mother and son is a good old fashioned Oedipus

 
LinkSlayer64

So, me in a

 
Niero

Watching Uncharted 4 commercials before buying a Neo like

 
JcDent

I wish for a Space Station 13 game with better controls and maybe a little less jumbled coding-onset I miss being an assistant and trying to steal EVA suits in every /tg/station best

 
OrochiLeona

Im a I have one desire, to keep your character alive and well as long and as efficiently as Thats all I want to Would it really be all that much drama for you to just *maybe* attempt to do the same for me?

 
Dreggsao

One thing about Overwatch sucks: that most of the players at the moment are

 
Amna Umen

Buried in the muck and mire of a slapfight comment section was this gift to you #CaucusForOuyaSanders #RallyForAContestedE3

 
SpielerDad

Today, a Lizard Person pretending to be a human that are my coworkers attempted to tell me a They have discovered the human concept of THEY ARE EVOLVING!

 
Gundy

The managers have come to their senses and I am now free from the floral All is right with the

 
Geese Wilson

Neo Cortex Voice Actor May Have Teased Crash Bandicoots Revival On PS4

 
Scrustle

Dtoid REALLY needs to sort out its mobile Opening another web page or even opening an entirely different app is just Posting QPs is more of a pain than it should be in this tiny box

 
ShadeOfLight

With 7 out of 8 badges, the run is still going strong with no major deaths The team is holding up very well, but Musclina the Machoke has yet to impress As much as I like Fighting types, she may get

 
Dr Mel

Etymology is my thing, folks, if you didnt already It lets me hold no end of boring party conversations like how the word lord and lady derive ultimately from loaf and highlight the great importance of making bread in early

 
Jiraya

You know what day is this right? Meow !

 
ZombZ

I just noticed I already broke the 1000 comments I hope you are entertained! #shitposting

 
RenaudB90

So what was up with War Machine punting a baby ? That was

 
OrochiLeona

2sexy4you #90shotcgi #bubblebutt #deadeyes

 
ZombZ

Having played countless hours of Overwatch so far, Id like to give you a short Its my honest opinion and its not gonna sit well if all of you, but Im just edgy like that Anyway here goes nothing: Tracers butt is too small to care

 
YT

Its the goddamn Silver Make sure you buy this come Autumn, because thats the only way were going to get a remake of 25 Ward, YA HEAR ME

 
Jed Whitaker

Climb in the Jed mobile

 
OrochiLeona

Anyone else seeing that Bad Neighbours 2 banner? Jesus, movie posters are the Never forget someone got paid for

 
The Dyslexic Laywer

I like how most kung fu movies can be summed up as white people are evil

 
jake oti

Fire Emblem Fates reacquired! Debating if I want to put a pause on Bravely Second (hah!) or finish it before getting back to

 
Pixie The Fairy

Been catching up on the GX3 panels now that most of them are The Bayonetta one is really

 
Oridan

Chromie is one of my favorite Warcraft characters, so Im happy about her inclusion in Listen to her adorable voice acting in WoD! Every days great at your Bronze Dragonshrine!

 
JcDent

Mod support for Total War: Warhammer means that well have the most beautiful Lord of the Rings game

 
JcDent

And Games Workshop shall cast them into the furnace of FAQ; there shall be wailing and gnashing of

 
Jinx 01

Thought it was Wednesday today so I didnt go see Civil Going 11:40AM Friday morning, I hear its fantastic!

 
Torchman

Welp, words cannot describe how great Captain America Civil War God damn I may go see it a second

 

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