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#Also cocks

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Swordfight will get your joystick hard

I stand corrected. This is the weirdest story of the weekend! If you read Joseph Leray's "Nordic New Wave" feature from the other week, you ought to be familiar with Johann Sebastian Joust, a game using accelerometer-powered controllers and...

 
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Namco Bandai pulls penis-flavored SoulCalibur V ad

[Update: So apparently it is not real. Stupid sexy Voldo!] Namco Bandai recently pulled an advert for SoulCalibur V after fans complained that it was too offensive. No, it wasn't the magazine page featuring ginormous breasts. It was an post...

 
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The DTOID Show: Our Top Gaming Moments Of 2011!

Merry Christmas, everybody! I'm gonna keep this short because idiot thought it was a good idea to put a small tree in my house and then leave a bunch of presents sitting under it, so I need to go get rid of that crap before anybody trips on...

 
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While we're all waiting for that hotly anticipated Saints Row: The Third review, it's easy to forget that Volition Inc. has something else coming to market -- the official Saints Row: The Third Dildo Baseball Bat.  Fortu...   read

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Fruit Ninja Kinect unleashes my ninja penis

I refused to rearrange my living room to play Fruit Ninja in my girlfriend's tiny San Francisco flat, so after a few failed attempts at calibration I just jumped behind the sofa, causing my body to turn into a floating severed torso.  ...

 
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When eroges get motion controls

According to Maniac, the Japanese developer Tech Arts is working on a title called 3D Custom Girl, which will be released at the end of October. The women present in the game cover pretty much every single Anime cliché in the book. T...

 
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Skyrim demo sends woman into labor

[Update: Chaz and Stevi joined us in the Outer Heaven chat last night (Chaz has been following Destructoid for years) and we got the chance to talk with the soon-to-be parents. Because of the pregnancy, the wedding (planned for this past we...

 
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Octocock

Ladies and gentlemen, it would appear that The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time 3D will feature Cthulhu's penis as a regular enemy. 

 
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As some of you know, I love to write features on this site. It’s kind of my favorite thing ever, outside of dolphins ... or Showgirls ... or punching old ladies in the face. Well, you get the point. I love writing featu...   read

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The Elder Scrolls V: Penisfinger

Thanks to the Destructoid community blogs, I now cannot look at this formerly beautiful screenshot of The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim without seeing a terrible truth. That truth is the unquestionable penisfinger standing proud on the end of tha...

 
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Destructoid shirts will protect your torso from sun rays!

Sun rays are bad! Didn't you know? The government secretly created videogames to keep people inside and away from the sun after all. Still, you sometimes have to leave the the house for things like candy brain fuel. Lucky for you, Destructo...

 
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Hey! Watch this episode of This Week in Videogames!

Last week I was a guest on web talk show This Week in Videogames. I am not posting this video of the episode to put the focus on me – I can’t even watch myself on video for more than five seconds without throwing up. I really w...

 
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Here is Sega's game machine, control it with your pee

I don't know who it was that came up with the idea to paint a little fly or dot or target on the inside bowl of your average public urinal, but he (or she) was a genius. It took advantage of man's need to urinate, and combined it with man...

 
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Tune in to GameTrailers TV tonight to see me NAKED!

Not really. I have a t-shirt on. I just can’t wait for my parents to Google my name and see that headline show up in the results. But I will be on GameTrailers TV tonight! I was one of the “gaming experts” (fan...

 
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Gather around old man Niero: Destructoid turns four

Friday night, 11pm at the Destructoid + Astro party:   "HEY! HEEEEY! SHUT UP! YOU! QUIEEEET!" Then, again, somehow in unison: "SHUT THE F**K UP! WE'RE GOING TO MAKE AN ANNOUNCEMENT!" (Here's the party in pictures) Today marks a...

 
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Gears of Whores is a real thing and is utterly dismaying

"Finally, porn for the XXX-treme gamer in you!" Not my words, but the words of GearsOfWhores.com, a new Web site dedicated to gamer porn. Of course, by gamer porn I mean, "low budget porn stars doing their normal sex but wearing headsets wh...

 
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A Dtoider won that No More Heroes 2 t-shirt contest!

I've been sitting on this info for a little while, waiting to get a proper screen grab of the two winning t-shirts in action, but my screen grabbing equipment sucks and I can't wait any longer. So here there are, the two winners of the No M...

 
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Analyzing No More Heroes 2, part 1: The bosses

[These posts on No More Heroes 2 are purely speculation. I have no idea what the team at Grasshopper Manufacture intended for the game to mean; I can only speak to what I've taken away from it, so if you don't enjoy potentially bullsh*t int...

 
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Jeff Minter pitches Video Game Hero

Space Giraffe developer and notorious industry whingebag Jeff Minter has been hard at work on a new game that he is hoping to pitch to Activision. Not really, but his idea for Video Game Hero could be a pretty good prospect nonetheless. Sur...

 
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Genitals ruin Christmas with help from PSP

Shon Goodman of Omaha, Nebraska thought he had his holiday shopping all worked out when he picked up the used PSP at a local store. Little did he know that the handheld contained a horrible secret that would destroy Christmas for his ten ye...

 
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From our community  

Handys X-mas X-travaganza begins now!

[Handy created this awesome Destructoid themed Christmas poem! Merry Christmas from everyone at Destructoid!] It’s that time of year again. The time of year when we forget about all our problems and just try to enjoy ourselves for one...

 
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ESRB: Dante's Inferno contains demon penis

Oh yes, it's that time again! Time for another brilliant ESRB rating. We've had Street Fighter IV's flexed gluteus, Mass Effect 2's future blouse, and Final Fantasy XIII's breast side portions. Now the ESRB has given us the most amazing men...

 
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The return of the F**khead: No More Heroes 2 ESRB listing

We haven't heard too much about No More Heroes 2: Desperate Struggle lately, which had me worried that the game wasn't going to make its January 2010 launch date. Seeing the ESRB rating for the game has put those worries to rest. Unless the...

 
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Tim Langdell is a dick, indies respond...from the EDGE

Tim Langdell, founder of EDGE Games and former IDGA board member, is evidently not a big believer in freedom of speech -- at least, not in respect to the word "edge."  After managing to remove Mobigames' EDGE from the iPhone app store ...

 
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Water Sports coming to the Wii

There is only one reason why I chose to run this story. You already know exactly what that reason is.

 
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Katamari Forever launch trailer is ... uh, yeah

I'm sure you all remember the first trailer for Katamari Forever that Joseph posted a while back. It had a monkey in it, which is really the only reason I remember. Above, you'll find the new launch trailer for the game, which also features...

 
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Penultimate experience in gaming arrives in Love Death 4

You knew it was coming. You knew that one day man would devise a way to control videogames with his penis. We think with it most of the time. Most of the games we play have something to do with proving who has the bigger wang, and let's not...

 
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Nier Replicant will be getting sexy hermaphrodite fun

Nier Replicant has been revealed has been revealed as a PS3-exclusive version of Square Enix's upcoming action RPG, while Nier Gestalt will be an alternative Xbox 360 version. We don't yet know if the two games will have some form of intera...

 
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Send a greeting with some Dissidia flavor

Have you been stuck sending greeting cards without Final Fantasy characters all over them? I know, me too. It's a tough world for us gamers. A world in which we are forced to send electronic greeting cards without our favorite Final Fantasy...

 
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Gackt getting sexy body involved with Samurai Warriors 3

I have a big fat wobbly man-crush on Gackt, and really, who could blame me? The androgynous Japanese singer looks quite unbelievable, and I have made a mission in life to mack Gackt's sack, whether he grants me permission or not. Further pr...

 

Jim SterlingFeatured blogger

Destructoid reviews editor, responsible for running and maintaining the cutting edge videogame critique that people ignore because all they want to see are the scores at the end. Also a regular f...

 

Reviews

Thrustmaster TMX Force Feedback Wheel"Basically the T150, but for Xbox One and PC"

 

Fragments of Him"Great writing and performances, terrible pacing and gameplay"

 

Push Me Pull You"Playing Nightcrawlers"

 

Chronos"I keep getting older, but they stay the same age"

 

The Climb"You rock, rock"

 

Hitman: Sapienza"Molto buono"

 

Ray Gigant"Challenge not included"

 

Soda Drinker Pro"Like explaining an inside joke to someone else"

 

King's Quest: Once Upon a Climb"A tale of two princesses"

 
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DISCUSSIONS | setupPosts by everyone - post yours

Fuzunga

Battleborn day-one update is only 470mb!

 
Indestructoidable

Killed the Abyss Watchers in an epic

 
klaw616

Hooooow can I explain, when there are feeeeewwww words I can choooooose Come on, you all know the words!

 
Sr Churros

Madonna oficially became a female MMO character now

 
taterchimp

Going to make a site that allows people to raise money to get virgin dudes

 
Terry 309

So I posted a 4v4 RT game on youtube just to show what its like to

 
BigDoniel

Fair to say the Dota 2 addiction is Have no idea why, the game just never seems to get

 
TheAngriestCarp

I was so stoked to finally see Dreamweaver sharing his artwork with the community that I had the urge to try drawing his catgirl OC, Mayuki, So if youre reading this Dream, consider it a gift from one fledgling artist to another!

 
Agent9

I wish the Storm ruler did a little more than just kill 1 it would have been epic if it casted a strong wind projectile that could disarm enemies or At least chew stamina or Its underutilization is a

 
Inquisitive Ravenclaw

Friendly reminder that Pocket Card Jockey is coming out in 2 days and will consume my life at that

 
Torchman

Chapter 8 gave me 360 snipes for days on end Still not enough to make up for Roger

 
Kaleido Ruby

Hub music, huh?

 
Sr Churros

Welp, Phantasy Star Online 2 failed to run and accuses a missing Either I somehow fucked up when installing or I just need to update Checking for missing game files right now , it is so Current status:

 
EdgyDude

General question: Do other Dtoiders have a shame game? a shame game is game you got by mistake, in a bundle or some other way that youd be embarrassed other people knew you have in your

 
GuerrillaOcelot

I finished Senran Kagura Estival Versus Also, I wrapped up the remaining challenges on Also, I made progress on Dark Souls It has been a good Who needs the outdoors?

 
OverlordZetta

Holy shit! Konami has announced a new game? And its coming to every Sony console AND every Nintendo one?! And its from an old Huson Soft IP?!? And its NOT Bomberman?!?! EDIT: And it may just be a PS2 port somehow severely mislabeled on top of that?!

 
gajknight

PSA: Do not buy the Last Maharaja DLC for AC It is hot trash and Bretts 6/10 is 4 points too Awful, janky and Jack the Ripper though, that is excellent Do get

 
Jinx 01

Steam made a little addition that I *really* Part of the problem with reviews is that games change a lot with patches & updates, especially in Early This makes it easier to see where a game is at the

 
Kaleido Ruby

I think its trying to tell us

 
Amna Umen

My best friend (who introduced me to Dtoid) is developing a game and could use some feedback on his It means so much to me that he succeeds that Im using my 200th QP! Any feedback you leave here Ill pass onto him

 
OverlordZetta

11 years later and this is still my favorite hub world music in a Id just leave the game open and do other stuff to have it playing while I went about my Good, good

 
Sr Churros

I predict the new Battlefield this year will probably be a 2142 sequel, because futuristic shooters are currently in and EA is playing If that ends up being I think they lost a hell of an opportunity for not releasing a sequel for it

 
CoilWhine

I streamed and beat an awesome indie game windowframe, where the window width is used as a weapon and obstacle, streamed part four of Amazing Frog (I unlocked the city and found a boat by getting enough points) + replayed Dead Bits (why? idk)

 
Luca Blight

Goodnight or good morning everyone Im off to

 
Roxas1359

Working on my last research paper of the Need tons of primary sources relating to Japanese American resettlement after the Era of Internment and I cant think of where to Hmm, time for me to put on my thinking

 
JuIc3

Bloodborne, day 3!!! Link found in

 
Rico the Penguin

*adjusts glasses*

 
gajknight

Managed to defeat Nue in the Nioh Satisfying man, I see good things in this games future, for Finishing up the AC Syndicate DLC, then its onto Cant fricking wait man!

 
Torchman

Last call for quesitons for the Ask Me Anything Going to start writing it Feel free to ask multiple questions!

 
Barry Kelly

Im still having a problem seeing embedded youtube videos when using SSL on It looks like the browser (Chrome) wont load them because the embedded URL is a plain

 

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