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#Also cocks

YouPorn ban photo
YouPorn ban

YouPorn eSports team banned by league

YouPorn, which my colleagues tell me is a supplier of online "adult" entertainment, sponsors an eSports team, Team YP. It has since 2014, back when I wrote, "More like spornsporning an eSporn team." Hah, nice. Unfortunately, this relationsh...

 
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Hot Mess: 10 Years of Destructoid party photos

There's something about the Mr. Destructoid helmet that brings out the animal in people. I've seen sheepish tiny McChicken-like boys turn into fearless crotch-thrusters, running up on stages and doing what three shots of Jager could not aff...

 
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Friday Night Fights - Happer Nooo Yur!

Dear lord it's bright. Worked till 6am, drank till 8 and back up at 12pm. Choices. Ugh. It's almost 1pm and I need to go back to work. At least it's Friday and it's a short, 4hr shift. It's the little things. Now excuse me, there's ham on m...

 
GOTY 2015
The downfall of Japanese game development has been greatly exaggerated. It sort of reminds me of what happened a century ago, when Dr. Kellogg introduced Kellogg's Corn Flakes in hopes that it would reduce masturbation. Kello...   read

Friday Night Fights photo
Friday Night Fights

Friday Night Fights - Ch-ch-ch-chaaaanges

Well isn't this Hunky Dory? A nice little Friday. We have a new Call of Duty to play together. We have a new Fallout to play with ourselves (HA! HA!). We have herpes. Wait, that's just me. My bad. "So shut up and tell us what's changing Mik...

 
Gamers love danger photo
Gamers love danger

Marathon gamers are 25% more likely to consider sleeping with a serial killer

Do you ever find yourself playing video games for more than eight hours straight? If you answered yes, would you consider sleeping with -- or fucking -- a serial killer? According to OKCupid, 25 percent of you are likely to answer yes. ...

 
Madden tricks photo
Madden tricks

Madden 16 screenshots lie about Marshawn Lynch dick-grabbing mechanic

Madden 16 used the above photo for Marshawn Lynch in its running backs player rating reveal. He is, naturally, number one at 96 overall. He cannot, however, grab his dick in defiance, as he is wont to do in real life. Seriously, watch this.

 
Dick slip photo
Dick slip

Miiverse moderation can't catch ALL the dicks

Sometimes they just slip through the cracks.

 
Rustic photo
Rustic

Rust soft launches female avatars, 'you never had a choice'

Back when I was telling you about how Rust automatically generates penis size based on Steam ID, a footnote to that article was that female player models were on their way to the survival sandbox, too. Well, this momentous addition was anno...

 
Rustic photo
Rustic

Rustic: Rust generates avatar cock size by Steam ID

Haha, rustic. I think it's time for Jordan to take another Rust adventure. The open world survival sim is fascinating. It recently made headlines when players flipped out after it randomly assigned face and skin tone to users' Steam IDs. An...

 
Don't get cocky photo
Don't get cocky

Expensive dick moderation helped kill the last LEGO MMO

Someone think about the children! Like my own personal brand, LEGO is a family-friendly, name-stealing company. And so the open-ended, Minecraft-like builder LEGO Worlds has some problem what with immature idiots' propensity to build cock. ...

 
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Friday Night Fights - Get Over Here!

Guys, I have a problem. I'm thirsty as hell. Not for some sweet meat slapping, but for blood. Your blood. Someone needs to hit me up on Xbox or PC for some Mortal Kombat X action. I have 9 Komplete on PC as well. LET'S DO THIS THANG! I need...

 
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Friday Night Fights - Goodbye Sweet Prince

I don't even have it in my heart to 'shop your face into those penguin eyes. Our fearless Boner Knight: Andy Dixon is leaving us as Community Manager. From the first time I was an asshole to you Andy, to the last time I was an asshole to yo...

 
Mario Kart dicks photo
From our community  

Who put all these dicks in Mario Kart?

[Where will Dtoid community blogger Hyper Lemon Buster Cannon find dicks next?? --Mr Andy Dixon] You know, if there's one important observation I've noticed throughout the years, it's that if you look hard enough, like really really hard, y...

 
Sporting YP photo
Sporting YP

YouPorn is sponsoring an eSports team

YouPorn, which a cursory Google search tells me is a streaming adult video webpage, has announced its sponsorship of a Spanish eSports team (Hearthstone, League of Legends). Play2Win will now be known as Team YP, which sounds like some...

 
Xbox porn photo
Xbox porn

Hardcore pornography CONFIRMED for Next Xbox

SugarDVD, purveyor of such fine films as What An Asshole and Hairy Asian Schoolgirls Masturbate, has confirmed it'll be bringing its adult entertainment streaming services to Microsoft's next-generation Xbox.  The service is already of...

 
Promoted cock blog photo
From our community  

Promoted blog: Gaming's greatest cocks

[Destructoid turned seven this past Saturday, and all month long Dtoiders have been reminiscing about their time with the site over in our Community Blogs. Here's Handy's little dandy. Show us yours! --Mr Andy Dixon] We have a little saying...

 
Etrian Odyssey IV photo
Etrian Odyssey IV

Etrian Odyssey IV will get you stiff

Dale North's review is taking forever because he keeps getting distracted by sh*t like this. [Swagtoise's Tumblr via Tiny Cartridge]

 
HAWP photo
HAWP

HAWP: Oh Ash, your diplomacy is so thick and hard

This is... well... umm... you know what? I'm not even going to explain it. The latest Hey Ash, Whatcha Playin'? is brilliance, plain and simple. Go watch it and have a good laugh or two. Hey Ash, Whatcha Playin'? - Civilization V [GameTrai...

 
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Goodbye, Destructoid

As some of you may or may not have heard, this is officially my last day with Destructoid. Man ... I can barely type that without getting upset. I am starting a new job next week at GolinHarris as a writer for Nintendo. It is an absolute dr...

 
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The DTOID Show: Assassin's Creed DLC, Star Wars, & Porno

On today's completely professional, mature, and otherwise not stupid or embarrassing Destructoid Show, we discuss some very serious topics. First, a season pass is announced for Assassin's Creed III, and the first DLC will be set in an alt...

 
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YouPorn 'now on' Xbox, welcomes 'Xbox Masturbators'

Sometimes this job is boring, and sometimes YouPorn sends Destructoid a press release, excitedly telling us that its streaming sex video services is coming to Xbox Live. Of course, what it actually means is that, with Internet Explorer comi...

 
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Destructoid Community Meetup Photos!

Yeah we're a web site, but we are also a collective of fleshy sacks of meat and blood that play video games together and drink sometimes!  In an effort to centralize our random adventures and always have a place to show random photos a...

 
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Swordfight will get your joystick hard

I stand corrected. This is the weirdest story of the weekend! If you read Joseph Leray's "Nordic New Wave" feature from the other week, you ought to be familiar with Johann Sebastian Joust, a game using accelerometer-powered controllers and...

 
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Namco Bandai pulls penis-flavored SoulCalibur V ad

[Update: So apparently it is not real. Stupid sexy Voldo!] Namco Bandai recently pulled an advert for SoulCalibur V after fans complained that it was too offensive. No, it wasn't the magazine page featuring ginormous breasts. It was an post...

 
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The DTOID Show: Our Top Gaming Moments Of 2011!

Merry Christmas, everybody! I'm gonna keep this short because idiot thought it was a good idea to put a small tree in my house and then leave a bunch of presents sitting under it, so I need to go get rid of that crap before anybody trips on...

 
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While we're all waiting for that hotly anticipated Saints Row: The Third review, it's easy to forget that Volition Inc. has something else coming to market -- the official Saints Row: The Third Dildo Baseball Bat.  Fortu...   read

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Fruit Ninja Kinect unleashes my ninja penis

I refused to rearrange my living room to play Fruit Ninja in my girlfriend's tiny San Francisco flat, so after a few failed attempts at calibration I just jumped behind the sofa, causing my body to turn into a floating severed torso.  ...

 
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When eroges get motion controls

According to Maniac, the Japanese developer Tech Arts is working on a title called 3D Custom Girl, which will be released at the end of October. The women present in the game cover pretty much every single Anime cliché in the book. T...

 
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Skyrim demo sends woman into labor

[Update: Chaz and Stevi joined us in the Outer Heaven chat last night (Chaz has been following Destructoid for years) and we got the chance to talk with the soon-to-be parents. Because of the pregnancy, the wedding (planned for this past we...

 

Victoria MedinaFeatured blogger

I've always been terrible with talking about myself, I want to be witty and give you something fun to read, but I never know quite how to say the things I want to say. At least about myself. I ...

 

Reviews

Uncharted 4: A Thief's End"Sic parvis magna"

 

Bazaar"No, not that Magic Carpet"

 

Thrustmaster TMX Force Feedback Wheel"Basically the T150, but for Xbox One and PC"

 

Fragments of Him"Great writing and performances, terrible pacing and gameplay"

 

Push Me Pull You"Playing Nightcrawlers"

 

Chronos"I keep getting older, but they stay the same age"

 

The Climb"You rock, rock"

 

Hitman: Sapienza"Molto buono"

 

Ray Gigant"Challenge not included"

 
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DISCUSSIONS | setupPosts by everyone - post yours

gajknight

OMG everyone, the ending Of Uncharted 4 is amazing! Drake was the origami killer, Elana was dead all along and Sully was the father! Mind blown!

 
drmcscott

He-He, Ho-Ho, My disgusting embargo breaking review of Uncharted 4 was a Based on massive lies, which mostly turned out to be Lying is Or is it? Or IS it?

 
RiffRaff

Interesting I really do hope carts do make a

 
Dreamweaver

I have a feeling that Jed really, really, really want to play as Lady Call it a

 
Jed Whitaker

I really, really, really want to play as lady Come on Nintendo, dont let me down at E3!

 
Jed Whitaker

I really, really, really want to play as lady Come on Nintendo, dont let me down at E3!

 
Jed Whitaker

I really, really, really want to play as lady Come on Nintendo, dont let me down at E3!

 
DanteKinkade

It took me over 250 hours but I finally got the platinum for Soul Sacrifice Delta, making it so I have the plat for both games

 
Glabatron

Overwatch plays like TF2, a bad TF2 designed for the

 
FakePlasticTree

For those who wanna follow the Persona 5 crazyness as it gets Heres a stream for all of Get hyped! #TakeTokyoTower

 
gajknight

Why is it that all the girls I wanna bang turn out to be lesbians? Happened at least 5 times so Perhaps my gaydar is

 
Nekrosys

Considering that when the PS Vita first came out, it used an almost identical CPU/GPU to the current iPad at the time (albeit with more cores and a greater clock speed), Im somewhat curious as to what a new handheld with an iPad Pros hardware could

 
Dreamweaver

After finding out what this months Bloggers Wanted prompt is, I decided to commit blog necromancy and revive a post I wrote about Mass Effect 3: Citadel DLC AND the anime Angel Beats! Thats right, I used to write blogs before doing Comments of the Week!

 
medicamecanica

After thinking it was a moba, I finally understand Overwatch and I think its going to be my multiplayer game Favorite character so far? Mercy, thats right Im a fuckin

 
ObliqueZombie

Yeah, Overwatch is fucking fun as hell! But a bit hard on Not awkward for every character, but some are obviously gimped with a controller

 
Occams

Lordy, Overwatch is fun! Bastion is gun mode as a defender if very

 
Fuzunga

I hope Overwarch finishes downloading before the beta period is

 
Parismio

I have Shantae and the pirates curse for wiiu Who wants it? I figured itd be gone by

 
Dangus Taargus

I just spent an hour setting my Steam Controller to treat only the bottom half of my DS emulator window as a mouse zone for the touchscreen in a Big Picture It kinda works better than I thought it but still doesnt really feel

 
KnickKnackMyWack

People seem pretty insistent on the idea that Zelda NX will be vastly superior to Wii why? When OoT was ported to GCN all it had was Master TP on Wii was almost no different from Unless its a remaster it wont be significantly

 
Gundy

Im gonna miss I never enjoyed getting my ass handed to me so

 
Torchman

God damn I want to be so mad at how little screen time Gunbuster itself has gotten and the pacing of the But then I find out Gunbuster is a combination And then it gets a hype battle versus an YOURE TEARING ME APART GAINAX

 
Memolestas

Ive been working a lot in YOLO Animals, but peoples responses worth it:) Take a look at the game:

 
ACESandElGHTS

In celebration of my finally having finished MGS V: full motion Quiet/ Stefanie Joosten

 
siddartha85

I didnt expect to like Overwatch this Anybody else using Lucio? Im shocked at how much I now enjoy using He seemed so lame at But hes secretly

 
CoilWhine

Played and streamed some more Yakuza 3 (that shibe is so cute!), made a few memes for YouTube but nothing really

 
Torchman

When your title mech doesnt show up for over half the shows length, maybe, juuuust MAYBE, you shouldve had more Too rushed for some moments to have any real Mechs been pretty badass so far

 
Inquisitive Ravenclaw

Im physically/emotionally exhausted and fed up with

 
Parismio

Since I now have Runbow, it occurs to me that no one has mentioned its new DLC and that Lilac from Freedom Planet is a free character!

 

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