Hey Ash, Whatcha Playin' is a surreal comedy series made by Anthony and Ashly Burch. They do a (semi) weekly podcast.

Ashly and myself enjoy Doctor Who. We've made very little secret of this throughout both seasons of "Hey Ash, Whatcha Playin." We also typically end up discussing it in some way during the other HAWPcast episodes, so we figured, to hell with it -- let's just devote an entire episode to Doctor Who conversations and leave it at that.

With that in mind, this week's HAWPcast functions as a commentary track for "The Waters of Mars," the most recent Doctor Who special. You'll need to not-download a copy of the episode to get the full nerdosity.

If you're not into Doctor Who at all, you're honestly better off skipping this week's podcast altogether. We'll go back to telling random childhood stories and embarrassing anecdotes next week.

Screw Duke Nukem. Sam "Serious" Stone is the real king of first-person-shooter meatheads and if anybody deserved to make a triumphant comeback, it was him. Sure, Sam may not be quite as high profile, and his games may not be quite as refined, but at least Sam's adventures are released on time, and who needs refinement when you've got headless men running toward you with bombs in their hands?

Serious Sam HD: The First Encounter takes us back to Sam's very first adventure, giving the near-ten-year-old shooter a fresh coat of paint, a new Serious Engine, and 16-player co-op. All worthy additions, but is this a case of mutton dressed as lamb, or does Sam still have the stones? Read on as we review Serious Sam HD: The First Encounter.

Thief 4 (I refuse to write Thi4f because a 4 does not look like an e) was announced a while ago to much fanfare and rejoicing, but not much has been heard since then. To be fair the game was in a very early stage of production, but a bit of information here and there to keep us thinking about it wouldn't be too bad.

Well, speak of the devil! Here's Eidos Montreal boss Stephane D'Astous speaking about how far along the game is at this very moment. "The team is making leaps and bounds," he told IncGamers, adding later, "personally I have never seen a team, at this milestone (middle of pre-production) in such good shape!"

So there it is. Game is being worked on. It'll be here at some point. Move along. Nothing more to see here.

Link has used plenty of forms of transportation through his games, from horseback to boats to trains, but his feet have never really left the ground (unless you count magic owl teleportation or giant leaf hang gliding). That may change in the next Legend of Zelda as Eiji Aonuma hints at Link being able to take flight somehow. Where did the idea come from? Much like Miyamoto, Aaonuma is taking ideas from his life at home.

"I have an eight-year-old son myself at home," he said in a recent interview, "and quite recently he started playing The Phantom Hourglass for DS, because when the software first hit the market he was too young. When he started playing with the boat, I told him: 'In the next Zelda, you are going to be able to ride on the train.' He answered: 'OK, Dad, first boat, and then train? Surely next time, Link is going to fly in the sky ... '"

"I just don't know. If many people make many speculations ... some of them might be correct. Right now, I have to refrain from commenting on anything," he concluded, while grinning.

He then went on to spill a few more beans as he praised the Wii MotionPlus controls that are being implemented into the game. "I believe that we will be able to offer some great innovations in the new Legend of Zelda. Of course I have to refrain from giving any details, but we are contemplating altering the way the game progresses in comparison with all the past Legend of Zelda franchises," he said after detailing how well the MotionPlus works for the game.

Want. Now.

The Steam sale is still going on people, and if you haven't spent all your money on the previous three days then it's time to spend the rest of it today (and possibly tomorrow when the final day of the sale occurs. Today features the Star Wars pack and the THQ pack that has been available through the entire sale, but also the games below for varying low prices.

• EVE Online: Apocrypha for $4.99 (75% off)
• Battlefield 2: Complete Collection for $14.99 (50% off)
• Lucidity for $2.49 (75% off)
• Trackmania United Forever for 19.99 (50% off)
• Prince of Persia for $14.99 (50% off)
• World of Goo for $4.99 (75% off)
• Guild Wars Trilogy for $24.99 (50% off)

Great deals for all! I might pick up World of Goo finally, though I had been wanting to play it on my Wii instead. What are you getting today?

Attending E3 -- it's the ultimate dream. And trust me, as someone who has been there twice, it should be. Hell, it's the reason Destructoid exists. E3 is absolutely pukka. It takes a a lot of work to get there, though. Breaking into the games industry is not the easiest thing to do, and while some may luck out, being an attendee at E3 is a pretty exclusive club.

But what if you could go to E3 without doing all the work it takes to break into the gaming industry? What if you could attend every gaming convention without having to jump on a plane, deal with convention funk, or actually physically be there? Awesome, right? Microsoft may be planning to do just that -- bring the convention to Xbox 360 owners.

Destructoid reader Dr. Rockso was taking an online survey when he was asked to read the following concept and answer some questions about it:

Imagine that interactive, online versions of E3, BlizzCon, GamesCon, ComicCon and every other major video game convention were made available through Xbox Live.

So it might not be like actually attending the event, but it would be a pretty awesome deal. Check below the fold for the full list of features this supposed "Virtual Video Game Convention Service" may have and do give the screen grab* of the survey a look if you're interested in such things.

The death knoll of consoles and physical media has been ringing since before this current generation of consoles hit the market. It's a long, slow knoll, but it seems that almost everyone is in agreement that its end is coming. Adding his confirmation to the pile is Square Enix CEO Yoichi Wada, who in a recent interview with MCV said his company, along with Sony and Microsoft, are ready for the shift.

“In ten years’ time a lot of what we call ‘console games’ won’t exist,” he said. Elaborating that console makers like Sony and Microsoft have already prepared for the shift and third-parties need to start doing the same. "Somewhere around 2005 the console manufacturers’ strategy shifted,” he said.

“In the past the platform was hardware, but it has switched to the network. A time will come when the hardware isn’t even needed anymore. With that, any kind of terminal becomes a potential platform on which games can be played – that’s exponential growth in the potential of gaming. The potential size of the market is enormous.”

How is Square Enix getting ready for this impending console doom? They're ramping up their production of social and browser games and using the launch of Final Fantasy IV beta as a test for how their online services will work in the future.

Not that we haven't had this debate 50 million times already, but what say you? Prepared to forsake your shiny discs for downloadable games? Ready for a future with a single "console" for your games. I know I'm holding on for dear life to every ounce of physical media I can. 

[As posted on Japanator]

Many RPGs claim to be based in some kind of high-technology science fiction-y setting, but are surprisingly devoid of the things that would likely make up a real-life future. Some RPG folks still use swords in the far future and get everywhere by walking. 

Furthermore, where is the internet? I mean, it's become such an essential part of our lives in the present, but why is it somehow excised from our future? About the only games I can think of that have made effective use of it are of the .hack series. Where are my forums, my page comments, my RSS news feeds? I need to stay up-to-date with the latest skateboarding dog videos while in the middle of a random encounter!

However, thanks to Final Fantasy XIII, which you're probably sick of hearing about, the wonderful world of online shopping is coming to its in-game "Cocoon" city-world. Thankfully, I'm not talking about microtransactions or DLC - not for real money - yet. Instead, save points inside Cocoon will allow access to an "online" item store from which characters can do the buy-and-sell.

Director Motoru Miyama thinks that it's all rather "cool" and "different from the traditional FF series," also implying that some secret characters might appear on the faux-digital storefront. Wait, what? Secret characters? We can buy people online? Perhaps FFXIII's use of the intertubes is even more realistic than I imagined...ewww.

Anyway, I hope their item shop includes product commercials. Imagine being encouraged to buy Elixirs by the videos below...

We haven't heard too much about No More Heroes 2: Desperate Struggle lately, which had me worried that the game wasn't going to make its January 2010 launch date. Seeing the ESRB rating for the game has put those worries to rest. Unless the game's publisher has a sudden change of heart, NMH2 should arrive right on schedule.

That's just the start of the good news. This ESRB rating summary for the game almost seems to be bragging about how awesome No More Heroes 2 will be. Details include talk of enemies pulling their own heads off, players being able to watch portions of Travis Touchdown's favorite anime Bizarre Jelly, and the confirmation of both breast and buttock-jiggle physics. Sorry ladies (and gentlemen), no testicle-jiggle here. Maybe you'll get your chance in No More Heroes 3.

That's not to say that the male genitalia is completely left out of the description. In fact, my favorite part of the posting relates to the entire male crotch. Specifically -- "The battery meter for Travis's sword is always represented by a cartoon-like penis icon in the upper-right corner of the screen: as battery power runs out, the icon starts to shrink—a sad face appears".

Hear that folks? The battery meter for Travis's sword isn't sometimes represented by a cartoon-like penis icon, it's always represented by a cartoon-like penis icon. GOTY 2010 confirmed?

I'm not joking. If No More Heroes 2 turns out to be anything but the most surreal, eye-popping release of 2010, I'm going to be highly disappointed. The ESRB-hype machine has done it again.

Check out the full "warning" after the jump.

[via The Examiner]

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...ohhh, I'm sorry. One second. HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA... ha..ha... sorry I'm going to get to the post any second now... HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH... It's just...did you see when the fought with trash bags? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAH...ok, ok I'm done. No more... HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH... they're called upon to another dimension by...HAHAHAHAH... by a Jawbone... HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH...flaming fists!

Oh...goodness...hold on...lemme catch my breathe. I'm OK now. I'm not gonna laugh anymore. Let's talk about how slow the fights look or check out Sean Farris's face after his name... HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA... appears. Sorry, I can't help it. Oh, Gordon Chan I'm going to have to put a lot of faith in you to go see this one. It's just... HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA... damn it! You know, what Hamza can tell you more about it. I've have to go dry my eyes.

There was a time when Robin Williams was one of the funniest people around, but, as with all great comedians other than George Burns, if they don't die young they simply start to get old and annoying. Williams is at the "family fun" stage of his career, which appeals to the older generation that grew up with him and now has kids. As such, I've lost a lot of respect for him as a comedian. Plus, whenever he's interviewed he always seems to be doing schtick. It annoys me.

However, in the above interview with Jimmy Fallon, Williams gains back a whole lot of ground by admitting that he named his daughter Zelda after the character of the same name from The Legend of Zelda series. In the brief second that Willams allows Fallon to speak Fallon asks about Williams' gaming habits (18:11). While his "routine" on ten-year-old boys insulting him in Call of Duty is older than dirt and has been done to death, you have to respect his gaming cred for naming his daughter after a famous game character. I've been informed that this may already be common knowledge, but the chance to make fun of Jimmy Fallon and Robin Williams in the same post was something I could not pass up.

While I have your attention, I've seen Old Dogs and I'd try to avoid it if you can.

Remember Tetris Party? It was that WiiWare game where you could control the falling block with your Balance Board. It also had online support and stuff. I have no idea what playing Tetris with your feet was like, but it probably wasn't really all that great. Novelty begets more novelty, however, and we are thus getting a sequel to the game.

Silconera uncovered that Germany’s USK rated Tetris Party Deluxe. From the title it sounds like the game will simply be a newer version of the original game, but with more features. In reality isn't that what almost every Tetris sequel is anyway? Maybe this time it will integrate Wii MotionPlus support for no reason at all.

Far be it from me to judge, but I have never understood the appeal of smelling like a famous person, place or thing. In fact I've never really understood the appeal of cologne in general, especially when so few men have any idea how to use it in proper amounts. Of course perfumes, or their less powerful siblings Eau de Toilet, I can understand since women seem to have the ability to not dump an entire bottle of scented liquid on themselves. Still, I'm not so sure how many ladies out there will want to smell like Lightning from Final Fantasy XIII.

Square Enix has announced that they will be releasing a Final Fantasy XIII Eau de Toilet a month after the game is released in Japan. The scent, named after the FFXIII character of the same name, will be full of sweet peach flavors that are followed by rose and a feminine musk (the good kind). 50mLs of the scent will cost 7,140 yen or $83. No U.S. release date is set yet, but if you're walking through the woman's department of your local department store and you suddenly feel like entering into a random encounter battle it means that it's probably arrived and some poor shmuck just got doused with a sample of the stuff.

Did anyone ever get a chance to smell that Cloud cologne that was announced a little while back?

[Via Japanator]

Steam is pretty much the de facto standard for PC gaming these days. Even the most retail-loyal PC gamers likely have used it in some way, shape or form. Valve's Steam-powered empire also dominates the digital distribution landscape. Brad Wardell of Stardock (which owns the Impulse digital platform) estimates that Steam has roughly 70% of market share.

But it's one thing to be the big kid in the playground. It's another to start locking the other kids out. PC gamers may recall a brief dustup over the sale of Modern Warfare 2, wherein Direct2Drive, Impulse and other digital vendors refused to stock the title due to its native use of Steamworks, which would require the installation of the Steam client, and thus the Steam storefront. 

I can see things from their point of view, certainly. Why sell a game that, once installed, provides a back door for the competition? Valve has also been lobbying hard for third-party publishers (like Activision and EA) to start including Steam's native DRM solution, which again could shut out competing services (like Impulse's Goo DRM).

Then again, the ever-outspoken Derek Smart published a very detailed counterargument on Gamasutra as to why the boycott itself was rather foolish, essentially making Modern Warfare 2 a Steam-exclusive title. The "problem," Smart claimed, was that Steamworks, as a unified suite of services for multiplayer, auto-patching, storefronts, and authentication, offers much more value to the publisher and developer. Essentially, Steam rules because it's simply better. Steam boss Jason Holtman showed the same sentiment on Gamesindustry.biz:

To our minds, we think that if you're making a good game and it's got the services a customer wants it should get out in as many channels as possible. If you have a good portal and you're good at collecting money from folks, and attracting them, there's no reason why you shouldn't be.

And I think he's right, in that sense. I choose Steam because it's awesome, and the closest PC gaming has ever come to a platform like PSN or Xbox Live, with the added advantage of there actually being competition. While the potential for abuse is there (as Randy Pitchford complains), there's always an alternative. Should Valve start to throw its weight around too much, I might just choose Impulse, since it has Sins of a Solar Empire on it. Just, for God's sake, don't sell it on Games for Windows Live. Please.