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6:16 PM on 07.30.2007

WF Portmanteau: Attack the cosplayers' weak spot for massive damage

Today's World Famous Portmanteau will be yet another experiment, as the "winner" will get to take over the feature this Friday while I play the booth babes and take pictures of the games at Blizzcon. The other difference is t...

William Haley

Destructoid Theme Song Contest triple penetration photo
Destructoid Theme Song Contest triple penetration
by William Haley
Just to make things hard on you, Tron Knotts has dropped his latest hit single on Megaupload. After navigating a Playstation Store-esque labyrinth of frustration, you will be treated to a song that is best described as an amalgamation of NES game music, my little brother in the shower when he thinks no one is home, and Pantera.
Tron had this to say about his entry:'s from the heart. The internets is like a never ending text based adventure game for me, with awesome pictures and sometimes even movies. And I always feel like I beat the last boss after reading the blogs on Destructoid.
Next up is PwnyBownz's "Destructoid Anthem". Pwny is no stranger to rockin out with his also cocks out as he previously collaborated with GuitarAtomik to make the Pimp City Super Moves entry. His latest entry is best described as a cross between the theme for Flash Gordan, James Earl Jones, and Pantera.
Finally, hit the jump for DanielO (of no relation to Steve-O... supposedly) and his retro-tronic offering, entitled "Destructoid theme contest entry". This piece is an interesting mix of sex in the mouth, 8-bit soundtracks, and, you guessed it, Wee Sing in Sillyville.
If you like what you hear then drop them some love in the comments. Remember, there is no limit to the number of entries allowed and the winner gets a complete Rock Band game set and of course, internet fame. Just try not to be a douchebag or you may end up world famous for all the wrong reasons...
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5:19 AM on 07.28.2007

PS3 gets an exclusive new Rockstar franchise, take that ho! <3 Chad Warden

According to the mysteriously-named Playstation Blog, Michael Shorrock, the Director of Third Party Relations at SCEA, has announced that Geoff Keighly has announced that Rockstar Games has announced an exclusive, brand new f...

William Haley

12:39 PM on 07.27.2007

Comic-Con 2007: Do not feed the robots!

Aww Comic-Con, the time of year where the coolest of the cool and the baddest of the bad meet up to talk about bangin' bitches and back alley knife fights. Destructoid will be here just trying not to get a bottle broken over ...

William Haley

8:43 AM on 07.23.2007

The founder of GameFAQs to step down after twelve glorious years of faqqing

I thought that my emotions were no longer a working part of me and that my tear ducts and vage had dried up long ago, but apparently there is some humanity left in me after all. Jeff Veasey, or "CJayC" as he is more...

William Haley

5:01 AM on 07.23.2007

E3 2007 Aftershocks: Rise of the Argonauts awesome developer interview

Not awesome because this game looks cool mind you, awesome because this guy is really freaking excited to talk about it. As the last of Destructoids E3 coverage rolls in (that show was like sooo July 13th...), this is a fitti...

William Haley

9:14 PM on 07.22.2007

E3 2007 Aftershocks: Jade Raymond talks Assassin's Creed, won't stop calling me

Assassin's Creed was one of the live demos at the Microsoft press conference at E3 last week, and all I could keep thinking was "Goddamn, Jade Raymond looks hot!" Aside from that fact, this was the first time gamers...

William Haley

8:27 PM on 07.22.2007

E3 2007 Aftershocks: Burnout Paradise

Burnout Paradise was one of the few games at this years E3 to actually draw a reasonable line (and by line, I mean three humans and a Frag Doll). As always, it's looking quite amazing, with a lot of big changes this time ...

William Haley

EIEIO 2007: Dungeon Hero early impressions photo
EIEIO 2007: Dungeon Hero early impressions
by William Haley

Shown behind a slightly closed door at Gamecocks EIEIO this year was Dungeon Hero. As the trailer (after the jump) implies, this forthcoming PC / Xbox 360 game aspires to be the anti-dungeon-crawling dungeon crawler. While no actual gameplay was shown other than some pre-rendered combat animations, the developers on hand certainly had some interesting ideas that could turn the genre on it's head.

Beyond lies a tale of gold, goblins, and tentacle rape. Proceed, if you dare ...

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Destructoid Theme Song Contest gets forcefully penetrated by epic win photo
Destructoid Theme Song Contest gets forcefully penetrated by epic win
by William Haley

For those of you still slacking off on your Dtoid Theme Song entry and the chance to win a complete Rock Band game set, congratulations, the bar has just been raised. Behold, GuitarAtomik's IKILLPXLS entry, titled It's Time For Destructoid. You can also catch his second entry if you're into robot death metal trip hop folk music.

As awesome as this is, I'm still waiting for the Dtoid theme song as performed by Mario Paint. Make it hap!

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8:12 PM on 07.20.2007

The Perfect Sequel: Crackdown 2

Everyone has played a game and thought “You know what they should add in the sequel?” Sometimes you would get lucky and said feature would make it into numero dos, but chances are more often than not the sequel ca...

William Haley

5:56 PM on 07.20.2007

GameTap's Re/Visioned: Tomb Raider is pretty awesome (so far)

GameTap recently launched a new animated shorts series where influential and highly stylized artists and writers have the chance to give their favorite games a reimagining of sorts. On the waiting list of creators is Jim Lee...

William Haley

WF Portmanteau: Mi swaga es su swaga photo
WF Portmanteau: Mi swaga es su swaga
by William Haley

This E3 was a lot like the old E3's, except that it was totally freaking retarded and free stuff was hard as hell to come by. Luckily, my supposed Jewish ancestry gives me a heightened ability to gather mass amounts of swag, even when they are heavily guarded by gate and bar babes. I can't promise no one had to die for me to get this stuff, but I can promise that I probably touched them inappropriately before burying them behind the abandoned house on 245 Macaro St in downtown Los Angeles.

Hit the jump to get this show on the road, and if you're new to portmanteaus then please step right up. It only hurts for the first few minutes, then I fall asleep completely satisfied with myself and dream of creamy strawberry fruit bars that they don't sell anywhere anymore except for in the dream world. 

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PAX 2007: Be an honorary Destructoid editor for a weekend photo
PAX 2007: Be an honorary Destructoid editor for a weekend
by William Haley

Being a game journalist is serious business. You have to play video games, collect swag, and get drunk at private parties with Cliffy B, then come home and talk smack about poor people and immigrants. Still, there's quite a few people out there who still want to become one, and Destructoid has decided to help.

Starting right this second, Dtoid is running a 3-week long competition of sorts where the most talented and devoted community blogger will win his or her way into PAX as a temporary Destructoid editor. You'll get to live among us, sleep among us, and even make your own posts on the front page live from the event.

Hit the jump to see if you've got what it takes to be the next Jim Sterling...

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5:52 PM on 07.16.2007

Silent Hill Arcade is like playing vomit

I'm a big supporter of IPs staying true to their origins. Paul Anderson's vision of Resident Evil? Raul Julia's vision of M. Bison? Uwe Boll's vision of anything? As a devout gamer, I kinda take them personall...

William Haley

4:02 PM on 07.16.2007

E3 2007: Project Gotham Racing 4 may have made a mistake (hands-on impressions)

I was willing to give Project Gotham Racing 4 the benefit of the doubt when it added motorcycles to the mix, as even though this is usually a recipe for disaster, Bizarre Creations has certainly earned my respect for continu...

William Haley