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WF Portmanteau: Attack the cosplayers' weak spot for massive damage


Jul 30
// William Haley
Today's World Famous Portmanteau will be yet another experiment, as the "winner" will get to take over the feature this Friday while I play the booth babes and take pictures of the games at Blizzcon. The other difference is t...
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Just to make things hard on you, Tron Knotts has dropped his latest hit single on Megaupload. After navigating a Playstation Store-esque labyrinth of frustration, you will be treated to a song that is best described as an ama...

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PS3 gets an exclusive new Rockstar franchise, take that ho! <3 Chad Warden


Jul 28
// William Haley
According to the mysteriously-named Playstation Blog, Michael Shorrock, the Director of Third Party Relations at SCEA, has announced that Geoff Keighly has announced that Rockstar Games has announced an exclusive, brand new f...
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Comic-Con 2007: Do not feed the robots!


Jul 27
// William Haley
Aww Comic-Con, the time of year where the coolest of the cool and the baddest of the bad meet up to talk about bangin' bitches and back alley knife fights. Destructoid will be here just trying not to get a bottle broken over ...
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The founder of GameFAQs to step down after twelve glorious years of faqqing


Jul 23
// William Haley
I thought that my emotions were no longer a working part of me and that my tear ducts and vage had dried up long ago, but apparently there is some humanity left in me after all. Jeff Veasey, or "CJayC" as he is more...
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E3 2007 Aftershocks: Rise of the Argonauts awesome developer interview


Jul 23
// William Haley
Not awesome because this game looks cool mind you, awesome because this guy is really freaking excited to talk about it. As the last of Destructoids E3 coverage rolls in (that show was like sooo July 13th...), this is a fitti...
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E3 2007 Aftershocks: Jade Raymond talks Assassin's Creed, won't stop calling me


Jul 22
// William Haley
Assassin's Creed was one of the live demos at the Microsoft press conference at E3 last week, and all I could keep thinking was "Goddamn, Jade Raymond looks hot!" Aside from that fact, this was the first time gamers...
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E3 2007 Aftershocks: Burnout Paradise


Jul 22
// William Haley
Burnout Paradise was one of the few games at this years E3 to actually draw a reasonable line (and by line, I mean three humans and a Frag Doll). As always, it's looking quite amazing, with a lot of big changes this time ...

EIEIO 2007: Dungeon Hero early impressions

Jul 22 // William Haley
The first and most important element that's being stressed about the virtual world that lies within Dungeon Hero is ... stop me if you've heard this one before ... that it is a "living, breathing place". NPC's will have a set routine that will take them all over the cities and in-game environments and convey a society of characters who have actual lives to live and errands to run. Technically that sounds pretty cool, but in reality it could only be a few simple animations that don't necessarily make you feel like you're amongst intelligent, realistic beings. It's too early to tell.  Another concept that may add a bit of immersion to the experience is the clever use of unique characters. For example, in one of the cutscenes a crazed goblin with stumps for legs is shown rambling about your character. The developers said that later on as you approach the hospital you may see that same character being taken away on a stretcher. A little touch, sure, but it's little things like that that will add up to achieve the bigger picture. Keeping with that concept of total immersion is the notion of not needing maps to find your target destination. If you're looking for the trenches, keep an eye out for groups of soliders marching in one direction, or wounded troops being carried in the other. The developers insist that after a bit of play time, gamers will become far more familiar with the in-game environments than if they constantly were relying on a mini-map. The game is not nearly as focused on grinding away in endless, monotonous dungeons as it is about progressing the main storyline. To do this, the developers have opted for interactive comic book-style cinematics. An odd choice, honestly, and one I'm not so sure feels right. They had a couple to show off, and while it does add a stylistic approach to help keep things fresh, it also manages to pull you out of the 3D experience. Strange, for a game that is trying so hard to keep the player immersed in an authentic fantasy world.As I mentioned, the developers do have great ideas, but as anyone who's ever played Dirge of Cerebus or watched the complete Matrix trilogy, it's all in the execution. When I was a little kid I invented a contraption that could hypothetically cure my mom's cancer while simulataneously creating sentient machines that would line up and down the Mexican border and keep out the "Canadians" with their rocket launcher arms and lazer beam eyes. In reality, I just ended up setting a bunch of cardboard on fire and getting my stepdad arrested for arson. My little sister still has the belt marks to prove it!The moral of the story is, Dungeon Hero is a good idea with a handful of guys behind it who are enthusiastic about creating something truly different. What they want to make and what they end up making however may very well be two different things. Click here to listen to the EIEIO developer walkthrough with some additional information about the game, including the different areas and the cooperative campaign mode.
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Shown behind a slightly closed door at Gamecocks EIEIO this year was Dungeon Hero. As the trailer (after the jump) implies, this forthcoming PC / Xbox 360 game aspires to be the anti-dungeon-crawling dungeon crawler. While no...

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For those of you still slacking off on your Dtoid Theme Song entry and the chance to win a complete Rock Band game set, congratulations, the bar has just been raised. Behold, GuitarAtomik's IKILLPXLS entry, titled It's Time F...

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The Perfect Sequel: Crackdown 2


Jul 20
// William Haley
Everyone has played a game and thought “You know what they should add in the sequel?” Sometimes you would get lucky and said feature would make it into numero dos, but chances are more often than not the sequel ca...
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GameTap's Re/Visioned: Tomb Raider is pretty awesome (so far)


Jul 20
// William Haley
GameTap recently launched a new animated shorts series where influential and highly stylized artists and writers have the chance to give their favorite games a reimagining of sorts. On the waiting list of creators is Jim Lee...

WF Portmanteau: Mi swaga es su swaga

Jul 20 // William Haley
This week you'll be competing to the death for some leftover E3 swag that doesn't fit my girlfriend because she's depressed and won't stop eating. She just keeps rocking back and forth in the corner crying "How could you do that to me while I was unconscious?" and I'm like "Listen fatty, if you're not gonna wear this crap then I'm gonna give it to the smartest person at Destructoid. Or Gomeja, whoever guesses it first!" If you live in the UK or really anywhere that's not part of the 50 states that make up the REAL WORLD, shipping of items may take longer. As in never. So, the rules: 1. Two guesses at a time only. They can be one for the game, one for the movie, or two for either. You get two more after your first two have been answered, and so on. Answers will come every 5 or 10 minutes until the port is solved. 2. The winner who guesses my port correctly will then need to defend their prize. If you can keep other players from guessing YOUR port within a certain amount of questions, then the swag is all yours. If you fail at life, then you get a bag of Goblin Nutz and the knowledge that someone else is off getting laid and doing lines off the back of Playboy bunnies in their new Fallout 3 T-shirt, and that could have been you. 3. Yes I am in a bad mood today. 4. #3 wasn't really a rule, more like a statement. For all those who have been asking and especially whoever keeps writing notes in fire on my front lawn, Portmanteau will be a weekly feature from now on, most likely on Thursday or Friday around noonish. Thanks for your interest, I'm glad I have created a feature that not only wastes my time, but all of yours as well. <3 <3 <3 List of Prizes:  1 Red Trim Gamecock T-shirt (M or L) 1 Black Trim Gamecock T-shirt (M or L)1 Surprisingly Nice Fallout 3 101 T-shirt (M or L)1 Gamecock Cocksucker (Peppermint or Cinammon)An assortment of salty Goblin Nutz    Previous Ports:  Portmanteau #1 Portmanteau #2   I'm thinking of a portmanteau. Ready... go! 
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This E3 was a lot like the old E3's, except that it was totally freaking retarded and free stuff was hard as hell to come by. Luckily, my supposed Jewish ancestry gives me a heightened ability to gather mass amounts of swag, ...

PAX 2007: Be an honorary Destructoid editor for a weekend

Jul 17 // William Haley
So what does being the "most talented and devoted community blogger" mean? Basically, you need to show that you know how to write well, you know your gaming shizzle, and you can tie the two together while still being entertaining. Kinda like Fox, only the exact opposite. So what do you need to write about? Anything you want. If you want to do game previews, editorials, news reports, or if you just want to dress up like a homeless Samus Aran and film yourself running into oncoming traffic while trying to "morph into an explodey ball," then you go right ahead. At the end of the three weeks, on August 6th, five finalists will be chosen by shaking a plastic fortune ball and awaiting its wisdom. After that, finalists will have three days to submit a short video of themselves. This can either be you telling us why you're the one to pick, or it can be yourself interviewing inaminate objects around the house and the like to prove that you're not going to be a total f-tard at PAX. On the fourth day, August 10th, a winner will be chosen, this time by not one magic ball, but two.The winner gets free entry into the Penny Arcade Expo in Seattle, as well as free lodging with your new fellow editors. You will be given a couple of assignments (games or conferences to cover), and will be able to make front page posts for the duration of the event. You're also entitled to all the free swag you can handle, Chad's secret stash of Twinkies he thinks I don't know about, and photo opportunities with a more-than-likely naked Ron Workman. Although this will probably be the best time of your life, on Monday things will return to normal and we'll pretend like nothing ever happened, just like at your senior retreat where everyone breaks down and apologizes and promises to be BFF. Didn't last long, did it? Well Destructoid is exactly like high school, minus the creepy girls P.E. coach who eventually got arrested in an undercover sting operation when he went to meet "SunnyGrl14" at the park.All child molestation aside, for anyone who's serious about breaking into the journalism world, this is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. Your work at Destructoid will be read by MILLIONS of people across the world, and even if you're not that good there's always the chance that Kotaku or GGL will crown you their king (or queen). The nitty gritty: You must be 18 years or older. Travel expenses are currently not included... Drugs and prostitution are *NOT* okay in the Dtoid mobile. That's it.Gentlemen (and women), start your blogging.   
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Being a game journalist is serious business. You have to play video games, collect swag, and get drunk at private parties with Cliffy B, then come home and talk smack about poor people and immigrants. Still, there's quite...

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Silent Hill Arcade is like playing vomit


Jul 16
// William Haley
I'm a big supporter of IPs staying true to their origins. Paul Anderson's vision of Resident Evil? Raul Julia's vision of M. Bison? Uwe Boll's vision of anything? As a devout gamer, I kinda take them personall...
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E3 2007: Project Gotham Racing 4 may have made a mistake (hands-on impressions)


Jul 16
// William Haley
I was willing to give Project Gotham Racing 4 the benefit of the doubt when it added motorcycles to the mix, as even though this is usually a recipe for disaster, Bizarre Creations has certainly earned my respect for continu...
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EIEIO 2007: Hands-on with Fury; this game is HOT


Jul 16
// William Haley
Fury is an upcoming MMO game that strips away all the grinding and leveling of games like Everquest or World of Warcraft and jumps right down to the nitty gritty of PvP while still retaining the things that make RPG's s...
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E3 2007: Mercenaries 2 developer walkthrough will make your pants tight


Jul 14
// William Haley
  Towards the end of the Xbox's lifespan, I had about 75 games for the console that I traded in before GameStop realized they had created a major loophole that made each game worth $15 more than it should have b...
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EIEIO 2007: Gamecock L-pops are NSFW


Jul 12
// William Haley
Gamecock's anti-E3 event, EIEIO, was a very chill and completely welcome experience amidst the chaos of jumping from hotel to hotel and appointment to appointment. Located at Hotel California right off the Santa Monic...
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E3 2007: New 360 console & technicolor accessories will make you vomit with glee


Jul 11
// William Haley
So the mystery system was revealed tonight at Microsoft's E3 conference, and it turns out to be the new Halo 3 Special Edition Console. But, that's not all! For all the female players and Smurfs out there, multi-color...
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E3 2007: Halo 3 campaign trailer and screens put nightmares of Halo 2 to rest


Jul 11
// William Haley
So, this actually looks good. Even the most diehard of Halo fanboys had to admit the multiplayer was graphically underwhelming and the sneak peak at the single player was not so hot either. Holding on to all hope, they insist...
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E3 2007: Blue Dragon demo on Xbox Live marketplace... like NOW


Jul 11
// William Haley
Blue Dragon is one of the most anticipated RPGs of the last five centuries, and now you can get your hands on it. And by now, I mean after you've downloaded the 1.13GB file, suckers!What should you do in the meantime? It's too bad they didn't just release a couple of classic Sega games on XBLA. If only ...[Via SLiFe's clog] 
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E3 2007: Sonic the Hedgehog and Golden Axe on XBLA... like NOW


Jul 11
// William Haley
While gamers will need to wait months for most of the games shown at Microsoft's E3 conference, two titles will be available tonight (or "tomorrow," if you're one of those people) on Xbox Live Arcade. And no...
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E3 2007: Burnout Paradise gameplay will rape your face


Jul 10
// William Haley
Behold, Burnout Paradise! Developer Criterion is a company that continually does the unthinkable: it actually makes sequels... that are good. *gasp* I know, right? We can all sit around and argue about how Burnout 3 was or wa...
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Import Spotlight: Oneechanbara vorteX


Jul 10
// William Haley
Welcome to the first ever Destructoid Import Spotlight. Every episode of this feature will take a look at games that never quite make the journey to American shelves. What better way to launch said serial than with Oneechanba...
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First Soul Calibur Legends trailer; the old people are going to have SO much fun


Jul 10
// William Haley
Screens and scans of the upcoming Soul Calibur spin-off for the Wii have flowed freely as of late, but now you can finally get a chance to see it in action. And I do use the term "action" very loosely, as only the m...
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King3vbo has taken the plunge by being the first entry into the Official Destructoid Theme Song Contest, and I can honestly say this is the best entry yet. Unfortunately it's automatically disqualified due to the mass am...

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Xbox 360: a glimpse into the (very near) future


Jul 10
// William Haley
Hmm, what have we here? This is a picture taken from the Microsoft E3 conference rehearsal and posted on Gamerscore Blog (it was quickly taken down immediately afterwords). Will Microsoft be color-coding each of their SKU'...
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Sony interview: "We are still winners!" *tear*


Jul 10
// William Haley
This video with SCEA president Jack Tretton pretty much encompasses everything that is wrong with Sony this generation. It's like everyone knows the PS3 bombed, and they simply won't admit that things could have gone ...
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Project Gotham Racing 4 gets bikes, is now infinity +1 times better than Forza


Jul 09
// William Haley
If Forza 2 was a man and I was a woman, while I was playing it I would have kept thinking to myself "Are you in yet?" But, as underwhelming as that overhyped Microsoft moneymaker is, gamers can always rely on Bizarr...

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