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Why EA has been dethroned by Activision ...


Aug 15
// William Haley
[Editor's note: This video contains a lot of profanity. If you're at work, take a pass on this one. -- Nick] EA is a terrible company. They rape and pillage franchise after franchise and are basically a disease whose pra...

Dtoid PAX Contest: the moment five of you have been waiting for

Aug 15 // William Haley
Tristero has not only rocked the front page multiple times with his promoted community blogs and riveting romantic fan fictions, but he also jumped the gun on the finalist video which shows the kind of initiative employers are always on the lookout. Not me though, I just look for boobs and a total lack of self-worth, but that's probably why I don't run Destructoid. It's also my understanding there was a great deal of fellatio involved, but it's still unclear as to whether Tristero was on the receiving or delivering end. With Workman around it's a heads or tails sorta thing... Here is Tristero's awesome amateur vid called "4 in 1 hole (part one incomplete MUST SEE) Linkin Park money cars The OC tits yellow Mega Man". Enjoy! And just in case any of you are as bored as I am and can't think of anything else to say to Jessica Chobot, here are some completely unrelated videos about two things that basically go hand in hand...    
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The Dtoid PAX contest has finally come to an end, but I'm too busy tracking down videos and glamour shots of Ivanka Trump and Lonelygirl15 (the dead one) to care so here is a dude dressed up like Jenna Jameson's skeleton and ...

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Xbox 360 Elite / HD-DVD bundle (plus 7 HD-DVDs) for $569 shipped


Aug 12
// William Haley
Man I miss the good old days of just walking into a store and buying whatever I wanted. Videogames, candy corn, Gerber Graduate meat sticks… nothing could stand against my reckless spending and care-free attitude. Bu...

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The Destructoid community blog contest which will allow one lucky reader, or more appropriately, "writer",  to join Dtoid at PAX as an honorary member of the staff is at an end. If you would like to be consider...

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This contest has resulted in some amazingly awesome entries, and since Rock Band's release is still more than three months away, Destructoid is giving you more time to up your chances at winning the complete game set (includi...

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Banjo Hero: needs more squealing


Aug 07
// William Haley
DragonForce shmagonforce! What would those overrated girly men know about some hot banjo-on-banjo action? Nothing, thats what! Behold the redneck's gift to music the way it was originally meant to be heard: in Guitar Hero. If this doesn't make you want to go into the mountains with a bow and arrow and kill people, I don't know what will.  [Via Garrfunkel's clog.] 
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New Geometry Wars Galaxies commercial; drugs are bad mmmkay?


Aug 07
// William Haley
Despite a sequel for the 360 being hinted at recently, it seems all eyes are on the Wii version of the smash XBLA hit, Geometry Wars. And why shouldn't they be? With brilliant marketing like the above video, I involuntarily r...
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Blizzcon 2007: Wrath of the Lich King new areas


Aug 06
// William Haley
Above is just one of the many new areas to explore in Wrath of the Lich King, the upcoming expansion to World of Warcraft. One of the things the art team is promising to do with Wrath is create immersive, jaw-dropping environ...
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Portmanteau: Blizzcon recovery mode


Aug 06
// William Haley
This is usually where I would write a couple of words and maybe draw some boobs, but why do something crazy like that when I can have someone else do it for me? That's why I'm letting last weeks winner, Blufire, take over for...
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Blizzcon 2007: StarCraft II single-player demonstration


Aug 06
// William Haley
The single-player aspect of StarCraft II was honestly one of the more intriguing elements shown off at this year's Blizzcon. Thanks to Gamevideos you can watch the entire live demonstration by Blizzard's VP of Game Design Rob...
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PlayStation 3 for only $350 with limited-time offer


Aug 05
// William Haley
Wow, does that headline read like an infomercial or what? Act now and also receive this set of Ginsu knives valued at over five-hundred dollars completely FREE!!!Anyway, people are always telling me "Haley, don't mess up...
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Destructoid @ Blizzcon 2007: See you there?


Aug 02
// William Haley
Although it would be virtually impossible to outdo our exhaustive Comic-Con '07 coverage, we must soldier on and cover frivolous media events like PAX and this weekend's Blizzcon, despite the knowledge that we have already pe...
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Cliffy B loves them chick flicks


Aug 01
// William Haley
I hate Gamespot. When I run a multi-million dollar Web site that's one of the most visited locations on the net, I'm pretty sure I'm going to think of a better question to ask the greatest developers of our generation th...
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Dtoid's extensive highlights of Comic-Con 2007


Jul 31
// William Haley
Last weekend's Comic-Con International in San Diego was home to the most excting new games,  the most anticipated new movies, the biggest announcements, and some of the most star-studded panels ever. Of course Destructoi...
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The evolution of Heavenly Sword: originally intended for the Xbox 360?


Jul 31
// William Haley
Ninja Theory, the developer behind one of the PS3's biggest showcase titles, was not always known by that name. Several years ago they were actually Just Add Monsters, but with only one Xbox title, Kung Fu Chaos, under their ...
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Comic-Con 2007: The mystery of 1:18:08 unravels


Jul 31
// William Haley
J.J. Abrams is the man. The guy has been responsible for practically reinventing television and saving it from the never-ending onslaught of reality shows and CSI spin-offs. He also made an extremely underrated movie that g...
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WF Portmanteau: Attack the cosplayers' weak spot for massive damage


Jul 30
// William Haley
Today's World Famous Portmanteau will be yet another experiment, as the "winner" will get to take over the feature this Friday while I play the booth babes and take pictures of the games at Blizzcon. The other difference is t...
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Just to make things hard on you, Tron Knotts has dropped his latest hit single on Megaupload. After navigating a Playstation Store-esque labyrinth of frustration, you will be treated to a song that is best described as an ama...

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PS3 gets an exclusive new Rockstar franchise, take that ho! <3 Chad Warden


Jul 28
// William Haley
According to the mysteriously-named Playstation Blog, Michael Shorrock, the Director of Third Party Relations at SCEA, has announced that Geoff Keighly has announced that Rockstar Games has announced an exclusive, brand new f...
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Comic-Con 2007: Do not feed the robots!


Jul 27
// William Haley
Aww Comic-Con, the time of year where the coolest of the cool and the baddest of the bad meet up to talk about bangin' bitches and back alley knife fights. Destructoid will be here just trying not to get a bottle broken over ...
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The founder of GameFAQs to step down after twelve glorious years of faqqing


Jul 23
// William Haley
I thought that my emotions were no longer a working part of me and that my tear ducts and vage had dried up long ago, but apparently there is some humanity left in me after all. Jeff Veasey, or "CJayC" as he is more...
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E3 2007 Aftershocks: Rise of the Argonauts awesome developer interview


Jul 23
// William Haley
Not awesome because this game looks cool mind you, awesome because this guy is really freaking excited to talk about it. As the last of Destructoids E3 coverage rolls in (that show was like sooo July 13th...), this is a fitti...
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E3 2007 Aftershocks: Jade Raymond talks Assassin's Creed, won't stop calling me


Jul 22
// William Haley
Assassin's Creed was one of the live demos at the Microsoft press conference at E3 last week, and all I could keep thinking was "Goddamn, Jade Raymond looks hot!" Aside from that fact, this was the first time gamers...
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E3 2007 Aftershocks: Burnout Paradise


Jul 22
// William Haley
Burnout Paradise was one of the few games at this years E3 to actually draw a reasonable line (and by line, I mean three humans and a Frag Doll). As always, it's looking quite amazing, with a lot of big changes this time ...

EIEIO 2007: Dungeon Hero early impressions

Jul 22 // William Haley
The first and most important element that's being stressed about the virtual world that lies within Dungeon Hero is ... stop me if you've heard this one before ... that it is a "living, breathing place". NPC's will have a set routine that will take them all over the cities and in-game environments and convey a society of characters who have actual lives to live and errands to run. Technically that sounds pretty cool, but in reality it could only be a few simple animations that don't necessarily make you feel like you're amongst intelligent, realistic beings. It's too early to tell.  Another concept that may add a bit of immersion to the experience is the clever use of unique characters. For example, in one of the cutscenes a crazed goblin with stumps for legs is shown rambling about your character. The developers said that later on as you approach the hospital you may see that same character being taken away on a stretcher. A little touch, sure, but it's little things like that that will add up to achieve the bigger picture. Keeping with that concept of total immersion is the notion of not needing maps to find your target destination. If you're looking for the trenches, keep an eye out for groups of soliders marching in one direction, or wounded troops being carried in the other. The developers insist that after a bit of play time, gamers will become far more familiar with the in-game environments than if they constantly were relying on a mini-map. The game is not nearly as focused on grinding away in endless, monotonous dungeons as it is about progressing the main storyline. To do this, the developers have opted for interactive comic book-style cinematics. An odd choice, honestly, and one I'm not so sure feels right. They had a couple to show off, and while it does add a stylistic approach to help keep things fresh, it also manages to pull you out of the 3D experience. Strange, for a game that is trying so hard to keep the player immersed in an authentic fantasy world.As I mentioned, the developers do have great ideas, but as anyone who's ever played Dirge of Cerebus or watched the complete Matrix trilogy, it's all in the execution. When I was a little kid I invented a contraption that could hypothetically cure my mom's cancer while simulataneously creating sentient machines that would line up and down the Mexican border and keep out the "Canadians" with their rocket launcher arms and lazer beam eyes. In reality, I just ended up setting a bunch of cardboard on fire and getting my stepdad arrested for arson. My little sister still has the belt marks to prove it!The moral of the story is, Dungeon Hero is a good idea with a handful of guys behind it who are enthusiastic about creating something truly different. What they want to make and what they end up making however may very well be two different things. Click here to listen to the EIEIO developer walkthrough with some additional information about the game, including the different areas and the cooperative campaign mode.
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Shown behind a slightly closed door at Gamecocks EIEIO this year was Dungeon Hero. As the trailer (after the jump) implies, this forthcoming PC / Xbox 360 game aspires to be the anti-dungeon-crawling dungeon crawler. While no...

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For those of you still slacking off on your Dtoid Theme Song entry and the chance to win a complete Rock Band game set, congratulations, the bar has just been raised. Behold, GuitarAtomik's IKILLPXLS entry, titled It's Time F...

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The Perfect Sequel: Crackdown 2


Jul 20
// William Haley
Everyone has played a game and thought “You know what they should add in the sequel?” Sometimes you would get lucky and said feature would make it into numero dos, but chances are more often than not the sequel ca...
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GameTap's Re/Visioned: Tomb Raider is pretty awesome (so far)


Jul 20
// William Haley
GameTap recently launched a new animated shorts series where influential and highly stylized artists and writers have the chance to give their favorite games a reimagining of sorts. On the waiting list of creators is Jim Lee...

WF Portmanteau: Mi swaga es su swaga

Jul 20 // William Haley
This week you'll be competing to the death for some leftover E3 swag that doesn't fit my girlfriend because she's depressed and won't stop eating. She just keeps rocking back and forth in the corner crying "How could you do that to me while I was unconscious?" and I'm like "Listen fatty, if you're not gonna wear this crap then I'm gonna give it to the smartest person at Destructoid. Or Gomeja, whoever guesses it first!" If you live in the UK or really anywhere that's not part of the 50 states that make up the REAL WORLD, shipping of items may take longer. As in never. So, the rules: 1. Two guesses at a time only. They can be one for the game, one for the movie, or two for either. You get two more after your first two have been answered, and so on. Answers will come every 5 or 10 minutes until the port is solved. 2. The winner who guesses my port correctly will then need to defend their prize. If you can keep other players from guessing YOUR port within a certain amount of questions, then the swag is all yours. If you fail at life, then you get a bag of Goblin Nutz and the knowledge that someone else is off getting laid and doing lines off the back of Playboy bunnies in their new Fallout 3 T-shirt, and that could have been you. 3. Yes I am in a bad mood today. 4. #3 wasn't really a rule, more like a statement. For all those who have been asking and especially whoever keeps writing notes in fire on my front lawn, Portmanteau will be a weekly feature from now on, most likely on Thursday or Friday around noonish. Thanks for your interest, I'm glad I have created a feature that not only wastes my time, but all of yours as well. <3 <3 <3 List of Prizes:  1 Red Trim Gamecock T-shirt (M or L) 1 Black Trim Gamecock T-shirt (M or L)1 Surprisingly Nice Fallout 3 101 T-shirt (M or L)1 Gamecock Cocksucker (Peppermint or Cinammon)An assortment of salty Goblin Nutz    Previous Ports:  Portmanteau #1 Portmanteau #2   I'm thinking of a portmanteau. Ready... go! 
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This E3 was a lot like the old E3's, except that it was totally freaking retarded and free stuff was hard as hell to come by. Luckily, my supposed Jewish ancestry gives me a heightened ability to gather mass amounts of swag, ...

PAX 2007: Be an honorary Destructoid editor for a weekend

Jul 17 // William Haley
So what does being the "most talented and devoted community blogger" mean? Basically, you need to show that you know how to write well, you know your gaming shizzle, and you can tie the two together while still being entertaining. Kinda like Fox, only the exact opposite. So what do you need to write about? Anything you want. If you want to do game previews, editorials, news reports, or if you just want to dress up like a homeless Samus Aran and film yourself running into oncoming traffic while trying to "morph into an explodey ball," then you go right ahead. At the end of the three weeks, on August 6th, five finalists will be chosen by shaking a plastic fortune ball and awaiting its wisdom. After that, finalists will have three days to submit a short video of themselves. This can either be you telling us why you're the one to pick, or it can be yourself interviewing inaminate objects around the house and the like to prove that you're not going to be a total f-tard at PAX. On the fourth day, August 10th, a winner will be chosen, this time by not one magic ball, but two.The winner gets free entry into the Penny Arcade Expo in Seattle, as well as free lodging with your new fellow editors. You will be given a couple of assignments (games or conferences to cover), and will be able to make front page posts for the duration of the event. You're also entitled to all the free swag you can handle, Chad's secret stash of Twinkies he thinks I don't know about, and photo opportunities with a more-than-likely naked Ron Workman. Although this will probably be the best time of your life, on Monday things will return to normal and we'll pretend like nothing ever happened, just like at your senior retreat where everyone breaks down and apologizes and promises to be BFF. Didn't last long, did it? Well Destructoid is exactly like high school, minus the creepy girls P.E. coach who eventually got arrested in an undercover sting operation when he went to meet "SunnyGrl14" at the park.All child molestation aside, for anyone who's serious about breaking into the journalism world, this is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. Your work at Destructoid will be read by MILLIONS of people across the world, and even if you're not that good there's always the chance that Kotaku or GGL will crown you their king (or queen). The nitty gritty: You must be 18 years or older. Travel expenses are currently not included... Drugs and prostitution are *NOT* okay in the Dtoid mobile. That's it.Gentlemen (and women), start your blogging.   
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Being a game journalist is serious business. You have to play video games, collect swag, and get drunk at private parties with Cliffy B, then come home and talk smack about poor people and immigrants. Still, there's quite...


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