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25 Days: Win a Gears of War 3 Season Pass!  photo

[Update: Contest closed! Season Pass winners are @iLombax @ElektroDragon @JFDubya @Marcela_Catalan @softpillowcase @SteezyXL @atlysryan @jadelote @JuhTai and @flubberblubb. Check your Twitter DMs!

The Epic Skin pack winners are: Dreamweaver, Mikey Reveliotis, KParsons305, cnshards, darkwonders, Billy Galant, Jing, jc83, DreamingDarklyRobin and Kamanashi. Check your Destructoid PMs for the codes!]

The Season Pass for Gears of War 3 grants you four of the upcoming downloadable content packs, saving you 33% as opposed to buying each DLC pack separately. The Season Pass goes for 2400 MS Points but we have ten of the passes to give away for today's 25 Days of Giving!

To win one of the codes, you're just going to need to Retweet this Tweet from @Dtoid. THAT'S NOT ALL! We're also giving away ten codes for the Epic Skin Packs for Gears of War 3. Just leave a comment below with some Gears of War 3 sexy fan-fiction to win one. Best ten stories will get a code!

We'll be picking ten random winners after the contest closes at 11:59PM CST tonight for both of the giveaways. Contest is open to everyone. Good luck!






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Hamza Aziz, Destructoid's Community Director, has been here since day one. He was born when a tiger coughed up a hairball into a pool of ooze. He was one of the original Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles before budget cuts. Hamza works as a previews editor and manages a team in San Francisco. To date he has given away tens of thousands of dollars in prizes to readers. What a dick. Actually, Hamza is as kind as he is hairy. Likes Super Mario RPG, Halo, iPhone, Videogame cover bands, Super Nintendo Meet the rest of the team



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79 comments | showing # 1 to 50
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next 50 comments

Earthworm Swiss's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/03/2011 00:05
Earthworm Swiss
Dom's beard brushes past Sam's ear, which leads them both to make sweet love on Maria's grave while surrounding by Foreman.

Too strong?
Wilbur Smith's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/03/2011 00:05
Wilbur Smith
Amy and I hooked up. How's that for sexy Gears of War 3 fan-fiction
Androu1's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/03/2011 00:06
Androu1
Marcus put his penis inside of Dom's butt. He liked it. Marcus came and Dom died. And then he danced happily.

The end.
Chris Carter's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/03/2011 00:08
Chris Carter
Cole Train lifted the balls above his head before the big game - the balls were soft to the touch; supple, with just the right amount of tenderness. They were not footballs.
rogXue's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/03/2011 00:21
rogXue
me...naked...lancer for a penis... Sexy enough for ya?
Gamerwhosucks's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/03/2011 00:22
Gamerwhosucks
Sam and Baird were in a room after the end of Gears Of War 3. They were making out... Then Baird got out the meat... Sam asked "Are you sure?" Baird nodded... Then they ate the meat, which was bacon. Oh, and eventually they had sex after, oily, bacon filed sex.
geezyj's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/03/2011 00:30
geezyj
Retweeted!
thenatthegreat's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/03/2011 00:36
thenatthegreat
Can I win?
ogbad21's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/03/2011 00:40
ogbad21
When Cole says he's still got it he just got done having fun with anya and they where wet and going wild.
thenatthegreat's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/03/2011 00:41
thenatthegreat
oh ya fan fiction, marcus goes back and bones the dead queen.
DreamingDarklyRobin's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/03/2011 00:47
DreamingDarklyRobin
Marcus and Dom, unable to defeat general RAAM's constant barrage of gunfire, were at lost as to how they could topple this enormous beast. Finally the two bros came up with the perfect idea, using the combine forces of their dicks they would drown the beast with cum.

Marcus begin raaming his dick into the cavernous reaches of the generals anus. Dom, being the the warrior he was, went for the face of the creature, making sure to avoid teeth. Soon the general caught on to their plan and decided to turn the tables. he grabbed Marcus by the...

wait a sec..I don't even own OR like Gears of War 3, shit.
vdh's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/03/2011 00:47
vdh
As DOM took care of his beloved TOMATOES, MARCUS approached him from behind, giving a gentle caress in his beard and a lustful spank in his ass, both knew what was going to happen... right there surrounded by Dom's TOMATOES.

Their HOT secret guarded on that ship, their LOVE over those crops and their... uhm...SEMEN... over Dom's BEARD.

Phew! And I'm not telling what happened with Dizzy on the mountains!!
LukeM's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/03/2011 01:05
LukeM
Hope I win, I need a excuse to return to Gears, there are just too many great games this holiday season.
Camel Toad's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/03/2011 01:09
Camel Toad
Marcus grinded his gears against Dom's dead wife's ashes as Dom masturbated solemnly in the corner, using only his own tears and the blood of his fallen comrade, Carmine.

Also Locust penises and Brumak orgies and a depressed Queen Myrrah because, similar to the only gay eskimo, she's the only lesbian Locust that I know.
Camel Toad's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/03/2011 01:13
Camel Toad
Dammit, I forgot BONERZ. Please forgive me Dtoid.
DaRabidDuckie's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/03/2011 01:17
DaRabidDuckie
The Queen got hammered atop her mount. She exploded. Everyone was happy.
Azuer's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/03/2011 01:21
Azuer
... really?
Azuer's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/03/2011 01:21
Azuer
... Really?
mowmow's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/03/2011 01:23
mowmow
Anya decides to give a strip erotically hoping get Marcus's mind of Dom. As she slowly gyrates in front of Marcus, A single shot is heard. Quickly turning to see that Carmine was shot in the head by a RAAM, who was apparently too fixated on Anya. Anya quickly shrugs off another Carmine death and continues her erotic strip tease.
jc83's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/03/2011 01:26
jc83
Baird had a reputation as a great mechanic. Most Gears assumed it was because of the way he could fix almost anything with anything but Cole always new better. The truth was Baird had a wrist like an electric spanner and Cole could only moan in ectsasy as Baird worked his big bolt.

Pleasure like this was a rare thing on Sera and Baird and Cole took every opportunity they could. They had just been moving through a locust infected city and stopping off in an abandoned bakery while Dom and Marcus secured the area left them just enough time to express their love.


"WOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" Cole screamed as he reached his limit and Baird was soon relieved he'd put on his goggles before he went to work. Now it was Coles turn to give Baird a Blitzball touch down.
EitherSmok's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/03/2011 01:29
EitherSmok
Marcus went to his Room, slowly open the door and then a light came out of the bathroom and there was, SHE, a girl that was soo hot, Marcus Couldn't figure out how the hell a hot chick was in his room at midnight and then...after the light dissapeared in the room, Dom's dead Wife on his spiritual manifestation, waiting for him in a sexy black dress and she said, Marcus i waited too much this moment , it's time! you will be mine dead... or alive... END!
Hamza CTZ Aziz's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/03/2011 01:42
Hamza CTZ Aziz
Hahahahaha I'm such a bastard. You guys are great
Akmar275's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/03/2011 01:48
Akmar275
At the start, we were on a f'ing boat, that is all.
Oishidesu's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/03/2011 01:54
Oishidesu
As soon as Marcus and gang had defeated the Locust Queen, they had one thing left to do... To have a bromance, or as the Gears would call it, an "orgy". Marcus called his friends, Dom called his friends, Cole Train called his friends, and the night was young and packed with muscular, gruff-voiced men, and only 1 girl. In a normal society, the men would go after the women, but not in this universe! The men all went to the beach, nude and proud. As the night went on, Dom had developed a liking for Cole Train, and Cole Train shared the feeling. So, they shyfully asked each other if they want to "rev" each other's "chainsaws" in a dark, quiet room, and both had said yes. Boy, you wouldn't believe the passionate bromance between the two. Dom had penetrated Cole with his chainsaw, and Cole had caught the ball and "touched down" on Dom's "sex zone". The moaning was so loud that it had caused the other Gears to follow the noise, and join themas soon as they had seen the bromance. There were at least 50 men in the room all "revving" up their chainsaws, erect and hard. The next day, they all smiled with glee, remembering the night before forever thee... And that rhymed.


So, can I write my own million copy-selling erotica disguised as a book for bros? Stephanie Meyer did it with Twilight, so I definitely should be given a chance to write my own book and all adapted to movies!!
Kamanashi's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/03/2011 01:56
Kamanashi
Cole and Marcus are sitting in the room waiting for Anya to hurry up with her makeup. "Marcus, you seem like the kinda guy who can take a huge man meat surprise, would you mind if we pass the time a little differently than this?" Says Cole as he slowly pulls his pants down.

"Cole, I thought you would never ask, I guess it's time I learn why they call you the Cole Train, HEHEHEHEHE" replied Marcus as a big shit eating grin appeared on his face.

Once they were fully unclothed, Marcus discovered where the train nickname came from. It wasn't from thrashball, but rather, it was from the massive shlong that Cole had. It resemble a bullet train in both length and girth.

"Cole, you were right, this will be much more fun" said Marcus as he was being seduced by Cole's manly body of righteousness. "I hope you don't mind me taking midnight train going anywhere."

"Go on ahead Marcus, my train is open 24/7 as long as your ass can take the pounding I'm about to give it."

Cole and Marcus make sexy time while Anya is doin girl stuff in the bathroom. Finally, Anya walks out only to find Marcus and Cole do the ssexy time stuff. "Can I join you 2? I have a rather large train as well" asked Anya as she pulled her pants down.

As she finishes pulling her pants down, they were surprised to see a penis even bigger than Cole's. Anya proceeded to have sex with both of them for the next hour.

"WHOOOOOO, that was amazing Anya." said both Cole and Marcus in unison.

"Next time you want some of me boys, I will be ready much faster." Said Anya.

They left and went on to kill some locust.

THE END
ilRadd's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/03/2011 02:08
ilRadd
The Scene: Dom & Marcus are in a pair of Silverbacks

Dom: Say it!

Marcus: I'm not gonna say it, so stop buggin' me.

Dom: Come on - it always make me smile.

Marcus: No!

Anya: What are you two talking about?

Dom: Tell him to say it Anya

Anya: Say what?

Marcus: "You can kiss my shiny metal ass!"

Dom: *laughs*

Anya: Not that again!?!
JDefined's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/03/2011 02:35
JDefined
Marcus takes off his robe and wizard hat.
Dreamweaver's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/03/2011 02:40
Dreamweaver
Screw the contest, any time to write a fan-fic is fine by me.
(This is a total rush job by the way :P)

(Excuse my grammer and spelling as it's 3 in the morning as I write this and I don't have time to edit my work. I have this thing where I keep switching between present and past tense because I naturally type EXACTLY what I say and edit it out later, but I don't have that luxury right now.)
---------------------------

"Wakey wakey" a voice rang out.

Decker Young was barely conscious, with his ears ringing at maximum volume, when he heard it, so much of it passed him by. As he rose up from the ground, drips of blood trickled down his face, revealing that his COG helmet he wore had broken been broken by the impact. His vision was pretty much blacked out but he COULD see the flaming wreckage of a civilian faltbed truck that his team used to get here.

His team... He suddenly remembered Omega Squad, his team of seasoned COG veterans who thought it'd be a good idea to charge into a Locust ARMADA with nothing but Lancers and Snub Pistols.

"Omega Squad..." he muttered to himself as he tried hard to get up, "What... What happened to them?"

"You should be worried about what's going to happen to you!" the voice called out before a foot stomped onto the back of his helmet, sending the young soldier down into the ground face first into the dirt. "Your pathetic little friends had perished in the crash... But you... You aren't so lucky."

Decker's vision was coming in slowly but surely; It wasn't long before he could see who his was talking to: The one and only Queen Myrrah, the messiah whom the Locust worshipped. The one that Omega Squad risked their lives to capture to prematurely end the war. The one who was standing right in front of Decker.

Strangely enough, she was alone.

"You ****ing bitch," Decker muttered outloud after he surveyed his surroundings, finding a Snub Pistol hanging right beside him. He tried to crawl towards it but much of his body was wrecked from the crash, making each and every inch he crawled all the more painful. Myrrah laughed loudly as she watched him struggle to reach the gun, only for her to kick it away when it was finally within reach.

"You humans amuse me..." she mentions as she stomps on Decker's back, applying pressure throughout his body, intensfying his pain. He groaned out loud as she started to repeatedly stomp on him, gaining pleasure from his pain with each and every step. As Decker starts to succumb to the pain, Queen Myrrah walks around his body and squats near his face, allowing him to talk face to face.

"Is there anything else you want to call me... scum?" she asks, not expecting the answer she was given.

"I didn't know... You were so beautiful..."
With that, Decker collapses from his pain and blacks out once more, allowing Myrrah to ponder what he said alone.

*Later that day*

Decker awakes once more, this time away from the flaming wreckage and graveyard of his fellow Omega Squad, and is strangely on a nice, comfortable bed with the sheets over him. As he sits up, he notices that he sees that his injuries has been taken cared of; His bleeding had stopped, his wounds were cleaned, and he is covered in bandages. He takes a look around the room to try to see where he was at, his first thought being that he was in a hospital, but he don't recognize anything as the decor of the room was so different... Like it was from another planet.

Or under his.

Once Decker guesses that he is most likely underground with the Locust, he immediately rip away the covers off of him and jumps out of the bed, ready to bolt. Before he could get anywhere however, a young woman walks in, halting his progress.

"You're awake?" she asked, coming towards him and trying to get him to lay back down.

"What's going on here?" Decker asks, confused on what the hell is happening, "Where the hell am I? Who are you?"

The woman looks at him and replies, "I'm Queen Myrrah, I'm the one who nursed you back to health."

"Queen Myrrah?" Decker says to himself as he's trying to grasp this... He remembers that Queen Myrrah was clad in armor, sitting on top of a huge insect, commanding an entire legion of Locust. "You can't be... There's no way."

He couldn't believe it... Queen Myrrah was a sadistic bitch, literally kicking him when he's down... She can't be this woman.

"Let's say that you are Myrrah," he questions, "If you truly are Myrrah, then where am I, why did you heal me, and why shouldn't I just kill you?"

She steps forward and answers each question with every step: "You are in my chambers, I healed you so you wouldn't die, and because..."

Without a moment's hesistation she kissed him on the lips. Her lips are surprisingly soft... Warm...

Deckers backs away from the kiss. "Wait, I don't understand... Why are you doing this?"

Myrrah, in a moment of weakness, blushes as she reveals "Because I want to thank you... I never had anyone tell me that I was beautiful before..."

(I could go on and added in some details but I think you get the gist of it. Yeah, I really must have no life to type this all out at 3 in the morning for a contest that's over :P)
cosvak's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/03/2011 02:49
cosvak
After the credits of Gears 3 started rolling, Marcus turned to Anya as they held hands with each other on the beach. Marcus gazed into Anya's eyes with such intensive passion, he had been waiting for months for this chance. He started to lean in and pull Anya closer to his body. Their bodies nearly becoming one as the passion and lust they had for one another was about to explode. As their lips approached each others, Marcus stopped and whispered his most inner desire. "Anya," Marcus whispered gently into her ear, "My dick is a GIANT WORM!" Then his pants burst opened, revealing the beast that was attached to him. Anya screamed as loud as she could with sexual excitement as the beast devoured her whole. Then the mighty Pants Worm went and had completely consensual sex with every last human on Sera and eating them while it was in each of them, until the worm eventually exploded into a mighty wave of cum. Restoring all the imulsion in Sera.
Chewy Dinosaur's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/03/2011 03:17
Chewy Dinosaur
So a glowie and a grub walk into a bar...
HammerShark's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/03/2011 03:50
HammerShark
Separated at birth Baird and Fenix get the urge to dress up as each other for no apparent reason. They each walk to a mirror and say, "wtf, I still look the same". Ah well. Both head out on a solo mission not knowing the other is also in the same mission. When each is captured by the Locust they start to try and sell one another out. Locust say, "Screw it, they both look alike to me". The Locust take aim ready to fire when Baird and Fenix split up then start to do a little dance as they say, "Fuuuuuuu-sion HAH!" When the dance is over they realize they're not in DBZ then they just dodge enemy fire and pummel the Locust till they cry for their mommy. They pummel her too. Then they proceed to eat pizza and watch DBZ fusion episodes after a fist bump.
Iris Repliforce's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/03/2011 03:54
Iris Repliforce
Well I won't be winning this. I look forward to hearing some of these read.
BbobyXp's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/03/2011 03:55
BbobyXp
I went to pick up my Gears of War 3 copy with a girl.
rannies's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/03/2011 04:31
rannies
In the end scene of Gears 3, Marcus is thinking "finally, Amy touches me"... his heart mind you lol
rannies's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/03/2011 04:34
rannies
Correction: Anya not Amy :)

In the end scene of Gears 3, Marcus is thinking "finally, Anya touches me"... his heart mind you lol
majstorcadu's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/03/2011 04:59
majstorcadu
after the war, Marcus become plumber. One day he got call from Anya for immediate fix of leaking pipes. So he went there. She welcomed him in her bathrobe and showed him kitchen. So he got under the sink and started working, and she watched him with lust in her eyes. All of the sudden he got sprayed by water from pipe, he gets up and says that he is all wet. She told him to take his clothes of. You know what happens next
Epic-Kx's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/03/2011 05:29
Epic-Kx
Its been a long day of scouting for one Cole and Sam. After finding the nessecary provisions for growing crops in what they're calling 'New Mercy', they decide to rest up by playing a few rounds of Smashball.

After thrashing around and tackling each other in the sand, Cole & Sam began to notice....more of each other, so to speak. Sam noticed Cole's smooth & chisled jaw and his small afro he's been growing since the war ended, his big bulgy muscles, and lord knows what goes on in those pants.

Cole began to see Sam's newly rested & supple breasts. After spending a month in the breeding farms, it apprears that her boobs are now feady for a real plucking. Cole grinned & thought "Daaaamn, lookatalldat ass" as Sam turned around to pick up the Smashball.

"Hey, big man" Sam said, "you gonna keep oogling me, or are we gonna play?". This snapped Cole out of his lust-fueled trance, and he fiercly rushed forward, trying to take the ball away from her. Sam smirked, thinking "got him" and swept him to the ground. Obiviously pissing off the Cole Train, baby.

"Yo, bitch! What was th--" Cole was interrupted by a pair of lips crashing down on him. A real man never ignores a fine ass woman playing tounge grabber with him, right? So he opened his mouth, letting her serpent slither around His in ecstasy.

"Listen" She said as she broke the kiss. "We're gonna fuck, and if you fuck well, I MIGHT consider thirds."

"Thirds? You think you can keep up with me, babeh?" He replied.

"Oh please, us bisexuals have the stamina of one Grayson Huntt." And with that, a Whole Grain fueled Cole Train and Sam fucked like rabbits, under the slightly jelaous eye of Anya.

"Lucky fuck."
Epic-Kx's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/03/2011 05:41
Epic-Kx
Bet I'm the only one who made a straight pairing.
Commandant Oreo's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/03/2011 07:48
Commandant Oreo
maria was actually sams lover
Kingdan97's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/03/2011 07:56
Kingdan97
And then Dom stroked Marcuses dingleberries lovingly, because they both knew they may never make it back.
DTwirler's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/03/2011 08:36
DTwirler
Marcus & Anya moved together to the rhythm of the swaying boat, stroking and grinding in a perfect harmony. Their sighs & moans were lost in the noise of the decrepit ship.
Mikey Reveliotis's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/03/2011 08:47
Mikey Reveliotis
(After last scene of Gears 3 story) As Marcus and Anya embrace on the beach, looking out into the ocean, they look at each other, lean towards one another, they kiss. A few days later, they build a house on the destroyed landscape, and every day they think about marriage. 3 months later, Marcus proposed to Anya for a marriage for 9 months ahead

The Wedding- Finally, the day came. They were ready to commit to marriage. Jace, Baird, Clayton, and Cole as the groomsmen and Sam and Bernadette the bridesmaids. Anya walked down the aisle, Marcus waiting at the chapel. Anya came to the chapel, beside Marcus. The priest (Hoffman) started...
SalarymanDaishi's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/03/2011 09:23
SalarymanDaishi
Ooh, all hail Twitter spam!
catsithx's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/03/2011 09:28
catsithx
Dom and I went for a nice "walk in the park" A nice long walk behind the bushes.
KParsons305's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/03/2011 10:41
KParsons305
So Baird is known to be great mechanic. Ever wondered what else he has in his bag of 'goodies?' We all seen the spark him and Sam had. What were they doing when the action was off of them? Baird will touch her gently (but rough because he's bad at showing his emotions) and get Sam feelin' "all good inside." Then Baird says his favorite lines, "I'll use my tools." or "Hold on! I have to go get my 'tools!'"

They do what they have to do and boom. Done in just of the nick of time before Cole Train can cock-block.

P.S. Little do Baird and Sam know that Cole always sees them and he says "WOOO!" All the time because every time he does something orgasmic, he thinks of them two. (lol)
KParsons305's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/03/2011 10:41
KParsons305
So Baird is known to be great mechanic. Ever wondered what else he has in his bag of 'goodies?' We all seen the spark him and Sam had. What were they doing when the action was off of them? Baird will touch her gently (but rough because he's bad at showing his emotions) and get Sam feelin' "all good inside." Then Baird says his favorite lines, "I'll use my tools." or "Hold on! I have to go get my 'tools!'"

They do what they have to do and boom. Done in just of the nick of time before Cole Train can cock-block.

P.S. Little do Baird and Sam know that Cole always sees them and he says "WOOO!" All the time because every time he does something orgasmic, he thinks of them two. (lol)
WSwan's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/03/2011 10:46
WSwan
Marcus walked to the wall, stretching his arms and fingers out, splaying and twisting, readying himself for battle. The Locust in front of him snapped and growled. "Fuck you,: Marcus grunted, and swung his fist straight for the Locust's jaw. The hit quieted the chained monster. Leaning in close, Marcus whispered, "That's better," and softly pecked the monster on the lips with his own. He then ripped his shirt off, wadding it into a ball to keep his knees from scrapping against the floor.
Chris Carter's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/03/2011 10:49
Chris Carter
Hahahahaha - I love that most of us just put in simple entries, but a few people dared to write actual fan-fiction. This is just great.
Diego Alberto Garcia Aldana's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/03/2011 11:51
Diego Alberto Garcia Aldana
And in hte middle of battle Dom said to marcus "Marcus please hold my cluck gun and hand me your pistol this may be our last chance to do something like this" Marcus looked at Dom a little confused but then he knew what he meant and replied "Ok dom but dont forget to be gentle to my hand grenades".Marcus started to pump Dom's cluck gun until the chickens started to fire and Dom tugged Marcus pistol of phoenix and started to fire at the hordes of locust until they came, the reinforcements, and they were saved.
Jing's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/03/2011 12:00
Jing
Marcus made his way to Dom's Garden, he knew his lover would be there, waiting. He approached kneeling beside his lover, gently caressing, so hard yet just big enough for his needs, no one on the CNV Sovereign would understand their love.
His heart raced as they finally slammed together, they were now inseparable.
"Marcus! My Tomatoes!" Dom yelled from across the garden
Marcus didn't care, he was now together with his true love...chest high wall.
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