Note: iOS 9 + Facebook users w/ trouble scrolling: #super sorry# we hope to fix it asap. In the meantime Chrome Mobile is a reach around
hot  /  reviews  /  videos  /  cblogs  /  qposts

100% Objective Review: Final Fantasy XIII

2:00 PM on 07.17.2010 // Jim Sterling
  @JimSterling

A few people have claimed recently that they want completely objective and unbiased reviews lacking personal opinion. I have been criticized for using my own feelings and thoughts when writing a review, which I am informed is actually a bad way to review videogames. My latest Jimquisition video tackled this subject, but the critics didn't understand it. 

With that in mind, I have decided to actually put their "objective reviews can be written" theory to the test and am now re-reviewing a game in a manner that completely negates subjective and personal thought. I decided to use Final Fantasy XIII, one of Destructoid's most controversial reviews, as the guinea pig, so please enjoy this brand-new review -- untainted by opinion, uncolored by emotion, and unclouded by my own personal thoughts.

Does it make for a better, more insightful, ultimately more useful review? I can't say ... I don't have an opinion on the matter!

Final Fantasy XIII (Xbox 360, PlayStation 3 [reviewed]) 
Developer: Square Enix
Publisher: Square Enix
Released: March 9, 2010
MSRP: $59.99

Final Fantasy XIII is a videogame released on the PlayStation 3 and Xbox 360. It was developed by Square Enix. It stars characters. One of the characters is called Lightning and that is the main character of the game that can be played with a controller. The game's story is about Lightning and a collection of other characters who must fight some other characters called Fal'Sie and save a planet called Cocoon. The story has a beginning and an ending and a middle bit.

Final Fantasy XIII belongs to the role-playing-game genre of videogames, more specifically a genre that some people dub "JRPG" with "J" standing for Japanese. Final Fantasy XIII was developed in Japan which would make this genre designation accurate. The game has things in it that other JRPGs have, such as leveling up and weapons and shops.

The battle system is a battle system. In this battle system players select commands for one character while other characters are controlled by the game's AI. Players can manually designate commands or let the AI decide which course of action is best. There is a system called the Paradigm shift which is new to Final Fantasy XIII and it allows players to pre-program how characters behave and the player can swap these behavior patterns whenever they want during a battle to deal with different circumstances. Many people enjoy the Paradigm system, but other people do not like it so much.

Players have the ability to restart a battle if it does not go well which you may or may not find useful depending on your personal preference. You might also find weapon leveling useful but that's only if you find weapon leveling useful, so whether or not you find weapon leveling useful is down to how useful you ultimately find weapon leveling. 

You can save the game if you want sometimes. 

The videogame has graphics and sound. The graphics are seen with your eyes and the sound is heard by your ears. When you start the game the graphics and the sound will occur almost at the same time, letting you know that the game has started. There is also text which players can read. 

If you buy Final Fantasy XIII and like it, then you like Final Fantasy XIII. If you buy Final Fantasy XIII and don't like it, then you don't like Final Fantasy XIII. It has things in it that some people might enjoy but other people who have different ideas of what is enjoyable may not actually enjoy it. 

In conclusion, Final Fantasy XIII is a videogame. 

Score: N/A (Since a reviewer would use his judgment to give a game a score, a score cannot be given at this time.)



Jim Sterling, Former Reviews Editor
 Follow Blog + disclosure JimSterling Tips
Destructoid reviews editor, responsible for running and maintaining the cutting edge videogame critique that people ignore because all they want to see are the scores at the end. Also a regular f... more   |   staff directory



 Setup email comments

Unsavory comments? Please report harassment, spam, and hate speech to our community fisters, and flag the user (we will ban users dishing bad karma). Can't see comments? Apps like Avast or browser extensions can cause it. You can fix it by adding *.disqus.com to your whitelists.

 Quickposts
Status updates from C-bloggers

Solar Pony Django avatarSolar Pony Django
My Brawl in the Family books finally came! It took a while but Matthew (guy who made the series) has been super busy so I totally understand. =D
Dreamweaver avatarDreamweaver
Here's what a typical dinner with me looks like: Stouffer's chicken parmesan, Lay's potato chips, and a cold can of Mountain Dew, all eaten on a cold set of tiles. That's right, ladies, THIS is what you'd be missing out on. Eat your heart out, @SayWord.
thelivinglegend avatarthelivinglegend
Not digging the difficulty of Xcom 2 so far. I always thought the first one was tough but fair, but this seems that at times it won't matter what strategy you use, you'll end up losing and having to restart. Seems more trial and error than tactical.
Barry Kelly avatarBarry Kelly
How's everyone finding XCOM 2? My first campaign isn't going well, half a dozen deaths so far and a sea of hospitalised vets in the roster :(
Pixie The Fairy avatarPixie The Fairy
Just tried the SFV kiosk demo. Impressions: Charlie is weird now. Chun Li now down-to-forwards her signature kick. Ryu, Ryu never changes. How to V-Trigger? Hah, Capcom does not explain such things! Needs more Rathalos and Feylines.
Ckarasu avatarCkarasu
For anyone wondering: Digimon Cyber Sleuth is pretty good. A bit easy, so play on hard mode for challenge, but it's like playing Final Fantasy 10, but with Digimon. You can even get Black Wargreymon if you buy it this month. Clearly, the best Digimon.
CoilWhine avatarCoilWhine
I bought Bloodborne and $30 in PSN moolah to top off my Playstation shopping spree.
ChrisHannard avatarChrisHannard
I just made a thing of beauty.
Fuzunga avatarFuzunga
Nordic just saved a bunch of games from being delisted. Some pretty good ones! [url]http://www.nordicgames.at/index.php/article/galactic_ip_rescue_operation_aka_new_franchises_acquired[/url]
Atleastimhousebroken avatarAtleastimhousebroken
Weird brutal death metal song about Majora's Mask (Reminds me of Gorguts)! My life is complete! Lyrics in comments. https://profoundlorerecords.bandcamp.com/track/tales-of-the-majora-mythos-part-1
Dreamweaver avatarDreamweaver
I SWEAR the Goddess is trolling me. I HATE having dreams where everything's finally okay with my life, only to wake up and realize it's all been a delusional lie. I'm starting to think this is a sign that maybe I should just keep sleeping forever... T^T
jak2364 avatarjak2364
It's taking every ounce of power within me to act like a responsible adult and save for this instead of using a credit card to get it now. http://smile.amazon.com/gp/product/B00VRCLHYS/ Everyone, tell me bad things about it.
gajknight avatargajknight
My cat touched my dick.
ScionVyse avatarScionVyse
Oh boy, extra damage weren't Ike's only buffs this patch. They also made his n-air combo better, made his Fsmash better (sourspot damage and angle buffs) and increased the range of his f-air. Ike may be tied with Sheik for best f-air in the game now. :D
Voodoome avatarVoodoome
What's your guys thoughts on repros? I ran into these a couple years ago at a con and I just couldn't resist. I know there are some repro makers out there that reproduce official US releases, and that's wrong, but if a game was never released here?
Niwannabe avatarNiwannabe
There's people who defend WB putting season passes in LEGO games. Real talk for a sec, there is literally no reason a season pass should even exist, let alone in a LEGO game of all things. Preordering DLC is pointless. I'm saltier than I need to be.
Mike Wallace avatarMike Wallace
Remember the Xenogears combat system? That was really fun. They should bring that back.
CoilWhine avatarCoilWhine
I hope Bloodborne goes down to $20 again, very tempted to get it. I've been using my Playstations a lot lately and want to continue doing that
Ckarasu avatarCkarasu
So, one of the artists for SMT4, Yasushi Nirasawa, passed away very recently. Quite the shame, as his work was interesting.
Gameroo avatarGameroo
Drive Any Track is wild, wild fun. Surprised I only came across it because of the steam sale, I thought I'd have at least heard something about it earlier. Can't wait to see how it progresses!
more quickposts


Contest!


Seriously

Invert site colors

  Dark Theme
  Light Theme


Destructoid means family.
Living the dream, since 2006

Pssst. konami code + enter

modernmethod logo



Back to Top


We follow moms on   Facebook  and   Twitter
  Light Theme      Dark Theme
Pssst. Konami Code + Enter!
You may remix stuff our site under creative commons w/@
- Destructoid means family. Living the dream, since 2006 -