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In the most hilarious case of sour grapes I've seen since Richard Nixon punched out a donkey during a fundraiser in 1974, Uwe Boll seems to be firing back at Wired for their negative review of Postal, his film based on a similarly titled video game. Here's a quote from the e-mail sent by Mr. Boll to Wired:

your review shows me only that you dont understand anything about movies and that you are a untalented wanna bee filmmaker with no balls and no understanding what POSTAL is. you dont see courage because you are nothing. and no go to your mum and fuck her  ...because she cooks for you now since 30 years  ..so she deserves it.

MEOW! This cat has CLAWS!

At this point, no one really expects Uwe's movies to be worthwhile, but it is refreshing to see him defend himself so fervently. As much as the man can't make a film worth the celluloid it was etched upon, I gain a lot of respect for a guy who has the utter insanity to swear at nearly-fictional Internet reviewers for panning a movie that -- according to common knowledge -- exists only as a clever German tax dodge. If his whole career is just one big ironic gag, I live in awe of Mr. Boll.

(Editor's Note: The picture accompanying this post is not funny. Do not look for a joke in it, as there are none. -- The Board) 


Continue: More Uwe Boll stories





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39 comments | showing # 1 to 39

Garbz's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/14/2007 16:07
Garbz
Uwe Boll is the everything i detest in a film maker.

Boxing your critics and winning does not mean you're a good film maker. It only means you're good at boxing.

The fact that he responds like this to a bad review shows he doesn't deserve to be allowed behind a camera IMO.

Although, if all of my steaming piles of shit had gotten bad reviews, i'm sure i'd be pissed off too so i can see where he's coming from in that respect.
F Whipple's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/14/2007 16:08
F Whipple
I'm not sure which is worse...his movies or his grammar, provided the quote wasn't a hastily done summary meant to mock him even more.
Riser Glen's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/14/2007 16:14
Riser Glen
LOL UWE.

Obviously this is the first film that Uwe Boll has vested interest in (he actually cares about it), so I'm not surprised he started attacking the critics so early.
codballs's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/14/2007 16:14
codballs
@Garbz - The fact that his films are uniformly shit is the reason he shouldn't be allowed behind a camera ever again.

I can't believe he describes any section of his movie as 'genius'. He's comparing himself to Bunuel, Godard, Scorcese and Leone. He's the cunt that made Alone in the Dark, for fucks sake.

*deep breaths*
*and relax*
bruceleethree's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/14/2007 16:14
bruceleethree
he's officially a joke, ruins the image of the modern day "filmmaker"

anyone with me when I say the wachowskis should just make every action movie ever?
Neonie's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/14/2007 16:16
Neonie
Havent heard of postal, havent heard of Uwe Boll. Do not care.
ceark's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/14/2007 16:17
ceark
Uwe is an idiot that has no understanding of story and cinematography.
vanpatten's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/14/2007 16:24
vanpatten
I realize English is not his first language, but doesn't Uwe have an assistant who can check his grammar before he fires off an email to a major magazine? That email had all the grammatical grace, style and infallible logic of an angry YouTube comment.
Cowzilla3's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/14/2007 16:27
Cowzilla3
@bruceleethree
Woh, let's not jump any guns here. I think we all saw the second two Matrix films and while they had their benefits they clearly got out of the control of the brothers (or is it siblings now) and were crushed under their need for a philosphical discussion, which was interesting but way to heavy.
Mekanikles's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/14/2007 16:27
Mekanikles
Whatch out for the wanna bee, it stings real bad
BlindsideDork's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/14/2007 16:37
BlindsideDork
You know he is cereal when he puts NO capitalization!
LordRegulus's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/14/2007 16:38
LordRegulus
Uwe Boll : movies :: Denis Dyack : games
scottoid's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/14/2007 16:40
scottoid
but dude...its funny that he is gettin all worked up over this. we all know his stuff isnt the best movies...but come on, its not often a filmmaker well say shit like that to defend his work. which to me shows...he isnt a total moron.
MaximusPaynicus's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/14/2007 16:43
MaximusPaynicus
Uwe Boll makes Michael Bay look like Martin Scorsese.

That is all.
DarkTetsuya's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/14/2007 16:44
DarkTetsuya
Boll's bitching about his reviews again? Next thing you know they'll be reporting that the sun rose in the east this morning...

Apparently it's the critic's fault the movie sucked? I always thought that was the responsiblity of the writers/director/etc. to make sure it didn't suck... Shows what I know.
Professor Pew's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/14/2007 16:52
Professor Pew
Uwe is our generation's Ed Wood. For better or worse.

But I liked House of the Dead, I mean, it's a House of the Dead movie. All his other movies were just pure crap. I want to make Postal my guilty pleasure though, it looks so terribly deliciously stupid. I'll also take Twitch's take on movies of this kind over Wired anytime, thank you very much. As eurotrash, this is on my must-see list.

Also one of the best quotes of the year: "The MPAA understood the satire -- you not -- you dumb fuck". Calling a Wired blogger a dumb fuck because the MPAA is better? Tihi!

Actually, Twitch did a very entertaining interview the other day. Boll spews some Bollish bullshit there, like how else his movies could sell millions of dvd's if his movies were crap. Go read!
brainderailment's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/14/2007 16:53
brainderailment
That man is a super moron. He kant spel forr shyt?
JonDarkwood's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/14/2007 17:01
JonDarkwood
How does this guy keep his job? I find it hard to believe anyone actually has faith in him. Isn't it more likely people have extra money to throw at some cheap laughs behind his back? Haha.
Sharpless's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/14/2007 17:11
Sharpless
Pew, no, he is not Ed Wood. Ed Wood was a likable man who knew his productions were low-budget b-movies and he had fun with it. He had a passion for his work and, while he and his crew were usually utterly inept, he did the best with what he could and he had fun doing it.

Uwe Boll is a thoroughly unlikable man who seems to think that he doesn't deserve this constant criticism. He seems to think that he's made good movies. He hacks together movies and pumps them out for Lord knows what reason. His movies do not have the camp appeal that some of Ed Wood's films did. Ed Wood was a struggling but passionate director. Uwe Boll is an obnoxious, talentless hack.
jerrt's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/14/2007 17:13
jerrt
i want to know more about this donkey punching incident!!
Remz's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/14/2007 17:33
Remz
I still can't belive he used a "ya mum" retort.

incredible!
Professor Pew's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/14/2007 17:45
Professor Pew
@Sharpless: Yeah ok maybe not exactly Ed Wood, fair enough. But Uwe does feel like the same kind of "worst director" for the cynical critic/internet-troll/MTV age quite well. Unless the "it's all a longterm act for the moneyz" theory is correct, Uwe does seem pretty passionate to me. Even if it's just to create attention. I used to hate him with a vengeance after he raped Alone in the Dark. But with all the crap he talks and the things he does, he's still good for some laughs. In 20 years, I bet we'll all be laughing at his 'collected works' :)

Oh don't forget Bloodrayne II will be on dvd/internets a month from now! Without Meat Loaf having fun with 20 eastern european whores, Ben Kingsley having fun playing a vampire and Micheal Madsen walking around drunk in every scene. And without Kristinna Loken not having fun in a totally gratuitous full frontal sex scene that ended her career.
Oni's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/14/2007 17:59
Oni
@Sharpless: Here, have an internet.

As for his flame, well, I've seen 13-year-old CS players deliver better thought out, grammatically-correct flames.
DrXym's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/14/2007 18:22
DrXym
If Uwe Boll cared about movies, he would invest the money in hiring a decent script writer, director and editor. There are plenty jobbing directors that he could employ who would 10x a better job than him. I see no evidence he gives a shit about making decent movies. Instead he appears to want to make expensive surefire flops, probably for tax reasons, and what better way than directing them himself. His faux outrage is quite laughable really.
Cyberxion's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/14/2007 18:26
Cyberxion
"its not often a filmmaker well say shit like that to defend his work. which to me shows...he isnt a total moron."

Please explain to me the logic behind that statement, would you? See, it's just that to me, that he would say stupid shit like that at all is really rather counter-indicative of intelligence, and instead puts him firmly in the moron category. Because despite how close he is to his work, any idiot can see that it's shit, and that he would say something like this, something so ignorant of that fact, is utterly moronic. And delusional!
Timmeh's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/14/2007 18:46
Timmeh
As much as I think his movies are utter trash that only get seen because they rape the name of popular video game franchises, you have to love his totally off the wall outbursts in today's world of carefully managed public relations and political correctness gone mad. I mean despite it being widely accepted his movies are trash, who wouldn't want to tell some talentless 'movie critic' to go fuck his mother for panning you film? We all know what critics' opinions are worth...
Sharpless's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/14/2007 19:06
Sharpless
@Pew
Sorry, I didn't mean to get "serious business" on you. I have a lot of respect for Wood, and I just hate to see an obnoxious hack like Boll get thrown in the same category with him. And was that shit really full frontal? I don't remember there being that much nudity. I might have to take another look at that. :)

@Scottoid
If Boll was a decent, intelligent filmmaker, he wouldn't have retaliated like that. A good director doesn't let the critics get him down and, ideally, he would learn from his mistakes. Boll doesn't. He just stomps off in a huff and tries to lure the critics into a boxing ring so he can legally beat the shit out of them like the selfish, oversensitive little bitch he is. Real life is not the internet. Boll needs to grow up.
Joseph Leray's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/14/2007 19:19
Joseph Leray
@Lord Regulus: "Boll: Movies:: Denis Dyack: Games"

Not true -- Dyack made Eternal Darkness. Uwe's 0 for 6.
Professor Pew's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/14/2007 19:30
Professor Pew
Hehe np Sharpless. You obviously know and care more about Ed Wood than I do (only saw the Depp movie and read the internets).
And about Bloodrayne: when Loken is stuck in prison with some dude, she loses her temper and gives him some sweet loving. Looking back, it seems it wasn't as full-frontal as I thought. But one guy gets to lick her boobie. Found page with nsfw vid!. Even if it looks more like ascii porn.
Sharpless's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/14/2007 19:41
Sharpless
Yeah, I wasn't thinking it was FULL full frontal, as in her bush and her tootie. Just got confused there. Honestly, though, it looks more like a scene from a really poorly-done porno.
Carbot's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/14/2007 19:57
Carbot
Awesome background picture. It caught my eye as its from a museum near my house. The museum of anthropology at ubc. Some native bear. -yea some random info :P
DerfelCadarn's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/14/2007 20:02
DerfelCadarn
@Orcist

Dyack also did the first Blood Omen. I'm guessing that LordRegulus was referring to Dennis Dyack's attitude towards criticism, rather than the quality of his work, specifically with the whole Too Human E3 debacle.
human child's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/14/2007 20:16
human child
Um, the term 'sour grapes' refers to the act of trying to convince yourself that something you wanted, yet didn't get, wouldn't have been good anyway. "Those grapes are probably sour anyway." (The opposite being 'sweet lemons')
I wouldn't post for grammar or spelling corrections, but as for the meaning of one of Aesops fables... I've gotta speak up.
Boolean's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/14/2007 20:40
Boolean
Has anyone seen the opening scene with the guys in the plane (its all over YouTube)? Its actually kinda funny..SOMEHOW. I predict the movie goes massivly downhill from there though.
Sharpless's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/14/2007 20:53
Sharpless
Boolean, that's what Wired said too. They liked that scene, but it went downhill and stayed there, for the most part.
Baratation's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/15/2007 00:01
Baratation
wait , what???

uwe directed alone in the dark? now everything makes sense
hardwareguy's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/15/2007 08:35
hardwareguy
I can't wait to see Postal!
savagesaladin's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/15/2007 10:22
savagesaladin
I could beat his ass. I hate Nazis.
human child's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/26/2007 11:48
human child
@ Nex

No, but his reaction is one of; "You don't get it this is a great film!", when a 'sour grapes' reaction would have him almost agreeing with his critics.
Yeah, I guess it's not so good after all, maybe it's not really what I wanted/hoped/thought.
However maybe seeing the movie will enlighten me on your comment. From what you wrote though it certainly seemed to be misused.
If I was mistaken then I apologize.
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