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<i>Passage</i> gets modded: The Mr. Destructoid Story photo

Yes. Nothing is sacred.   Download it and play it right now. 

Look I Drink: The Mr. Destructoid Story is a mod of Jason Rohrer's game by me as an exercise of self deprecation in gaming minimalism. Made in its original gamma 256 competition specs and allows you to somehow consume a dozen pints of alcohol in a tiny passage of 100x16 field of pixels using your arrow keys.  It's also managed to replace all depth, meaning, and emotion from the original game with ROBOTS, BEER, and LULZ.

Too say too much about the debauchery I've just created gives away the gag. But I'll give you a hint: Look I Drink is about what happens after a video game event.  If you've ever been to any of these things, you know that the only thing left to do in the evening is attend after parties, get STDs, and wander around in the middle of the night with the people you got drunk with until you almost miss your flight. This is the real glamorous video game journalism lifestyle, kids!

Played as Mr. Destructoid, there is no "right" and "wrong" way to play the game.  The only question is ... do you pick up Ron Workman or not in the middle of the night or run past him and keep all the beer for yourself?  Does it suggest that each beer you'll pick up is twice as funny in his company, but at the risk that you can't get into half the places because at some point he begins to double-pound them and is eventually streaking down the sidewalk naked?

Play it, come back here, and share your experience in the comments. Score? This game HAS no score. There is only the joy, confusion, and burden of running around in a giant robot helmet.

PS. For the record, I am a HUGE fan of the game. This is my tribute ... in my own weird way.

UPDATE:Thanks to a kind reader, you can now download this soon-to-be classic for Mac as well. Thanks to Alone for sending that in! - N.


LAUNCH GALLERY (6 IMAGES)
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60 comments | showing # 1 to 50

Vegas's Avatar
Vegas at 12/11/2007 22:30
Awesome, downloading now.
EternalDarkWing's Avatar
EternalDarkWing at 12/11/2007 22:31
Ha ha I wasn't expecting this. Downloading.
BFeld13's Avatar
BFeld13 at 12/11/2007 22:31
So cool. I'd pick up Workman for some dranks.
velcroman's Avatar
velcroman at 12/11/2007 22:33
so simple, why didn't I think of this. epic though.
Topher Cantler's Avatar
Topher Cantler at 12/11/2007 22:34
Be glad that I am not gay, Mr. Gonzalez, lest your buttocks be in danger of attack.
MaxVest's Avatar
MaxVest at 12/11/2007 22:36
This, THIS, is the best game of the year.

Although can someone post a walkthrough? I'm stuck on the meatspin level. It just keeps spinning, and I can't stop it.

Also, post speedrun times below.
Redzie's Avatar
Redzie at 12/11/2007 22:39
meh. I GIVE IT A 6.5
SourGr8pes's Avatar
SourGr8pes at 12/11/2007 22:42
Workmeng can get his own goddamn beer!

11/10!
Dexter345's Avatar
Dexter345 at 12/11/2007 22:43
Hahah. This is great. I bet Reverend Anthony will hate it.
SwamiPat's Avatar
SwamiPat at 12/11/2007 22:45
where is my mac version!?!?!
the GAMEGOBLIN's Avatar
the GAMEGOBLIN at 12/11/2007 22:47
SPOILER

WORKMAN DIES.
Justin Villasenor's Avatar
Justin Villasenor at 12/11/2007 22:48
That was moving.
AngelsDontBurn's Avatar
AngelsDontBurn at 12/11/2007 22:48
Niero, this is gold. Absolute gold. LOL.
Necros's Avatar
Necros at 12/11/2007 22:49
Greatest life ever.
Sharpless's Avatar
Sharpless at 12/11/2007 22:58
Workman is Fontaine.

I love you so hard, Niero.
Ub3rSlug's Avatar
Ub3rSlug at 12/11/2007 23:05
Sad Mr. Destructoid is Sad.

Also; Workmeng dies.
MechaMonkey's Avatar
MechaMonkey at 12/11/2007 23:06
Niero, you probably could have received an epic amount of sexual favors from community members in return for the distribution of this game, but instead you give it to the masses free of charge.

This is what makes you great.
NihonTiger90's Avatar
NihonTiger90 at 12/11/2007 23:11
Fuck yeah, Seaking. This is great.
LostCrichton's Avatar
LostCrichton at 12/11/2007 23:12
epic win. I have now played something direct from sweet gaming ambrosia and you gave it to me freely. Thank you.
yourfriendawk's Avatar
yourfriendawk at 12/11/2007 23:21
I think there should be a segment where you sit a computer for 30 years. that's the story of most destructoiders! With no females at all, and you pick up porn for points...
bl4km4th's Avatar
bl4km4th at 12/11/2007 23:21
The beer is a lie!
Coonskin05's Avatar
Coonskin05 at 12/11/2007 23:22
I came. HARD.
grrza's Avatar
grrza at 12/11/2007 23:27
Holy shit Niero. This is why and only you deserve Mr. Destructoid as an alter ego.
Cowzilla3's Avatar
Cowzilla3 at 12/11/2007 23:27
is anyone else having problems where the text disapears on the right othe column? I can't read the whole story becasue of it :(

Anybody? Anybody? Bueller?
Dhaos's Avatar
Dhaos at 12/11/2007 23:28
mmmm Beer
Gamechamp's Avatar
Gamechamp at 12/11/2007 23:28
This is art.
Pedro Blandino's Avatar
Pedro Blandino at 12/11/2007 23:34
ok, umm... IR confused.
CelicaCrazed's Avatar
CelicaCrazed at 12/11/2007 23:39
This game is pure awesome.
The Unforgivable's Avatar
The Unforgivable at 12/11/2007 23:48
Kind of remind me of Heroin Hero, except much better.
emotaku's Avatar
emotaku at 12/12/2007 00:04
cheats
amalgamut00's Avatar
amalgamut00 at 12/12/2007 00:14
There really isn't much replay value after you beat it.
vexed alex's Avatar
vexed alex at 12/12/2007 00:17
I have no idea what the hell happened. I was walking around, picked up a blond Ron, we went into some giant beer glasses, Ron died. Mr. Destructoid was than sad, than Mr. Destructoid died.

...Is this....is this some sort of satirical look at heavy drinking? Have I just been Live Above the Influence'd?
vexed alex's Avatar
vexed alex at 12/12/2007 00:19
I forget to mention that this is my new GOTY.
vexed alex's Avatar
vexed alex at 12/12/2007 00:21
I can has XBLA port? Achievements?

Imagine. Destructoid achievements...bad ass.
Big Z's Avatar
Big Z at 12/12/2007 00:23
THIS is why I choose Destructoid. <3
Samit Sarkar's Avatar
Samit Sarkar at 12/12/2007 00:32
Well, the end of the game was the part that made the most sense, because, you know, Ron’s age actually is 99 (according to MySpace, which never lies).
tehuberone's Avatar
tehuberone at 12/12/2007 01:49
Awesome.
A New Challenger's Avatar
A New Challenger at 12/12/2007 02:11
This was great, until I stopped playing and the Firefox window I had open refused to show up when I clicked on it in the taskbar. A fresh install and a couple restarts later and I'm still having the same problem. And this site looks like shit in Internet Explorer, so I'd really really like it to work again :(

Also, cocks.
SenorCalavera's Avatar
SenorCalavera at 12/12/2007 02:24
What, no mac version? Fail.
vexed alex's Avatar
vexed alex at 12/12/2007 02:26
"Mr. Destructoid was than sad, than Mr. Destructoid died. "

What the fuck did I write?
A New Challenger's Avatar
A New Challenger at 12/12/2007 02:30
Okay, I got Firefox working again. That was weird.

Also, total win, Niero.
liam2015's Avatar
liam2015 at 12/12/2007 04:33
I love you
atheistium's Avatar
atheistium at 12/12/2007 05:06
cute.
Why does his clothes change during the game though!? :O
Fading Star's Avatar
Fading Star at 12/12/2007 05:13
Best game ever.
timepants's Avatar
timepants at 12/12/2007 05:35
I was going to ask if the letters on the screen are supposed to spell also cocks but then I read the readme so...

Also, what are those large red things on Ron? Hands? And does Mr. Destructoid shrink as he gets older?
Aertyr's Avatar
Aertyr at 12/12/2007 07:24
God damn you Ron Workman and making me to fat to get 5 more beer. I wanted it's pixelated goodness you bastard!
Tubatic's Avatar
Tubatic at 12/12/2007 08:12
Dear Destructoid,

I'm a concerned Mac user that is a great fan of your work.

However, I am saddened and disappointed by the lack of a mac port of your product.

I has mac. I no can has lulzgamez?

If necessary, I can start an internet petition to make you do a mac port, because I'm sure you're aware that mac users are gamers too, and would most certainly partake in your fine product.

Might I suggest Aspyr media? They will most certainly increase the hardware specs of the game, and the size, and should have the port ready by next May.

Thank you for your time.

-Sucker Mac using gamer #457
Holyetheline's Avatar
Holyetheline at 12/12/2007 08:35
They need this on XBLA
LordRegulus's Avatar
LordRegulus at 12/12/2007 10:10
@Tubatic and everyone looking for a mac port:

This mod is just a replacement of the .TGA tile sets. If you download the original Mac version, you can replace the files in the "graphics" folder with Niero's versions and you're all set.

Ingenuity FTW. A winrar is Niero.

PRO TIP: It just goes to show how solid this game is that it retains all of its unique characteristics despite a complete tile swap. Passage stands on its gameplay mechanics and gameplay mechanics alone.
Variable Gear's Avatar
Variable Gear at 12/12/2007 10:12
My favorite part was when I couldn't close the game window or open the task manager. But, really, the game was fun when I was actually playing it.
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