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<i>Passage</i> gets modded: The Mr. Destructoid Story photo

Yes. Nothing is sacred.   Download it and play it right now. 

Look I Drink: The Mr. Destructoid Story is a mod of Jason Rohrer's game by me as an exercise of self deprecation in gaming minimalism. Made in its original gamma 256 competition specs and allows you to somehow consume a dozen pints of alcohol in a tiny passage of 100x16 field of pixels using your arrow keys.  It's also managed to replace all depth, meaning, and emotion from the original game with ROBOTS, BEER, and LULZ.

Too say too much about the debauchery I've just created gives away the gag. But I'll give you a hint: Look I Drink is about what happens after a video game event.  If you've ever been to any of these things, you know that the only thing left to do in the evening is attend after parties, get STDs, and wander around in the middle of the night with the people you got drunk with until you almost miss your flight. This is the real glamorous video game journalism lifestyle, kids!

Played as Mr. Destructoid, there is no "right" and "wrong" way to play the game.  The only question is ... do you pick up Ron Workman or not in the middle of the night or run past him and keep all the beer for yourself?  Does it suggest that each beer you'll pick up is twice as funny in his company, but at the risk that you can't get into half the places because at some point he begins to double-pound them and is eventually streaking down the sidewalk naked?

Play it, come back here, and share your experience in the comments. Score? This game HAS no score. There is only the joy, confusion, and burden of running around in a giant robot helmet.

PS. For the record, I am a HUGE fan of the game. This is my tribute ... in my own weird way.

UPDATE:Thanks to a kind reader, you can now download this soon-to-be classic for Mac as well. Thanks to Alone for sending that in! - N.


LAUNCH GALLERY (6 IMAGES)
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next 50 comments

60 comments | showing # 1 to 50

Vegas's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/11/2007 22:30
Vegas
Awesome, downloading now.
EternalDarkWing's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/11/2007 22:31
EternalDarkWing
Ha ha I wasn't expecting this. Downloading.
BFeld13's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/11/2007 22:31
BFeld13
So cool. I'd pick up Workman for some dranks.
velcroman's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/11/2007 22:33
velcroman
so simple, why didn't I think of this. epic though.
Topher Cantler's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/11/2007 22:34
Topher Cantler
Be glad that I am not gay, Mr. Gonzalez, lest your buttocks be in danger of attack.
MaxVest's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/11/2007 22:36
MaxVest
This, THIS, is the best game of the year.

Although can someone post a walkthrough? I'm stuck on the meatspin level. It just keeps spinning, and I can't stop it.

Also, post speedrun times below.
Redzie's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/11/2007 22:39
Redzie
meh. I GIVE IT A 6.5
SourGr8pes's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/11/2007 22:42
SourGr8pes
Workmeng can get his own goddamn beer!

11/10!
Dexter345's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/11/2007 22:43
Dexter345
Hahah. This is great. I bet Reverend Anthony will hate it.
SwamiPat's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/11/2007 22:45
SwamiPat
where is my mac version!?!?!
the GAMEGOBLIN's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/11/2007 22:47
the GAMEGOBLIN
SPOILER

WORKMAN DIES.
Justin Villasenor's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/11/2007 22:48
Justin Villasenor
That was moving.
AngelsDontBurn's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/11/2007 22:48
AngelsDontBurn
Niero, this is gold. Absolute gold. LOL.
Necros's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/11/2007 22:49
Necros
Greatest life ever.
Sharpless's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/11/2007 22:58
Sharpless
Workman is Fontaine.

I love you so hard, Niero.
Ub3rSlug's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/11/2007 23:05
Ub3rSlug
Sad Mr. Destructoid is Sad.

Also; Workmeng dies.
MechaMonkey's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/11/2007 23:06
MechaMonkey
Niero, you probably could have received an epic amount of sexual favors from community members in return for the distribution of this game, but instead you give it to the masses free of charge.

This is what makes you great.
NihonTiger90's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/11/2007 23:11
NihonTiger90
Fuck yeah, Seaking. This is great.
LostCrichton's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/11/2007 23:12
LostCrichton
epic win. I have now played something direct from sweet gaming ambrosia and you gave it to me freely. Thank you.
yourfriendawk's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/11/2007 23:21
yourfriendawk
I think there should be a segment where you sit a computer for 30 years. that's the story of most destructoiders! With no females at all, and you pick up porn for points...
bl4km4th's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/11/2007 23:21
bl4km4th
The beer is a lie!
Coonskin05's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/11/2007 23:22
Coonskin05
I came. HARD.
grrza's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/11/2007 23:27
grrza
Holy shit Niero. This is why and only you deserve Mr. Destructoid as an alter ego.
Cowzilla3's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/11/2007 23:27
Cowzilla3
is anyone else having problems where the text disapears on the right othe column? I can't read the whole story becasue of it :(

Anybody? Anybody? Bueller?
Dhaos's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/11/2007 23:28
Dhaos
mmmm Beer
Gamechamp's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/11/2007 23:28
Gamechamp
This is art.
Pedro Blandino's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/11/2007 23:34
Pedro Blandino
ok, umm... IR confused.
CelicaCrazed's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/11/2007 23:39
CelicaCrazed
This game is pure awesome.
The Unforgivable's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/11/2007 23:48
The Unforgivable
Kind of remind me of Heroin Hero, except much better.
emotaku's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/12/2007 00:04
emotaku
cheats
amalgamut00's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/12/2007 00:14
amalgamut00
There really isn't much replay value after you beat it.
vexed alex's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/12/2007 00:17
vexed alex
I have no idea what the hell happened. I was walking around, picked up a blond Ron, we went into some giant beer glasses, Ron died. Mr. Destructoid was than sad, than Mr. Destructoid died.

...Is this....is this some sort of satirical look at heavy drinking? Have I just been Live Above the Influence'd?
vexed alex's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/12/2007 00:19
vexed alex
I forget to mention that this is my new GOTY.
vexed alex's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/12/2007 00:21
vexed alex
I can has XBLA port? Achievements?

Imagine. Destructoid achievements...bad ass.
Big Z's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/12/2007 00:23
Big Z
THIS is why I choose Destructoid. <3
Samit Sarkar's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/12/2007 00:32
Samit Sarkar
Well, the end of the game was the part that made the most sense, because, you know, Ron’s age actually is 99 (according to MySpace, which never lies).
tehuberone's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/12/2007 01:49
tehuberone
Awesome.
A New Challenger's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/12/2007 02:11
A New Challenger
This was great, until I stopped playing and the Firefox window I had open refused to show up when I clicked on it in the taskbar. A fresh install and a couple restarts later and I'm still having the same problem. And this site looks like shit in Internet Explorer, so I'd really really like it to work again :(

Also, cocks.
SenorCalavera's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/12/2007 02:24
SenorCalavera
What, no mac version? Fail.
vexed alex's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/12/2007 02:26
vexed alex
"Mr. Destructoid was than sad, than Mr. Destructoid died. "

What the fuck did I write?
A New Challenger's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/12/2007 02:30
A New Challenger
Okay, I got Firefox working again. That was weird.

Also, total win, Niero.
liam2015's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/12/2007 04:33
liam2015
I love you
atheistium's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/12/2007 05:06
atheistium
cute.
Why does his clothes change during the game though!? :O
Fading Star's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/12/2007 05:13
Fading Star
Best game ever.
timepants's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/12/2007 05:35
timepants
I was going to ask if the letters on the screen are supposed to spell also cocks but then I read the readme so...

Also, what are those large red things on Ron? Hands? And does Mr. Destructoid shrink as he gets older?
Aertyr's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/12/2007 07:24
Aertyr
God damn you Ron Workman and making me to fat to get 5 more beer. I wanted it's pixelated goodness you bastard!
Tubatic's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/12/2007 08:12
Tubatic
Dear Destructoid,

I'm a concerned Mac user that is a great fan of your work.

However, I am saddened and disappointed by the lack of a mac port of your product.

I has mac. I no can has lulzgamez?

If necessary, I can start an internet petition to make you do a mac port, because I'm sure you're aware that mac users are gamers too, and would most certainly partake in your fine product.

Might I suggest Aspyr media? They will most certainly increase the hardware specs of the game, and the size, and should have the port ready by next May.

Thank you for your time.

-Sucker Mac using gamer #457
Holyetheline's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/12/2007 08:35
Holyetheline
They need this on XBLA
LordRegulus's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/12/2007 10:10
LordRegulus
@Tubatic and everyone looking for a mac port:

This mod is just a replacement of the .TGA tile sets. If you download the original Mac version, you can replace the files in the "graphics" folder with Niero's versions and you're all set.

Ingenuity FTW. A winrar is Niero.

PRO TIP: It just goes to show how solid this game is that it retains all of its unique characteristics despite a complete tile swap. Passage stands on its gameplay mechanics and gameplay mechanics alone.
Variable Gear's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/12/2007 10:12
Variable Gear
My favorite part was when I couldn't close the game window or open the task manager. But, really, the game was fun when I was actually playing it.
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