games  anime  |  toys
Destructoid is gaming news, community, videos, and sometimes love. Take the tour or jump in with Facebook:

 


'Gay' used pejoratively 98 percent of the time on LIVE photo

I don't think this will come as a surprise to anyone who has stepped into a multiplayer game of Halo or Gears of War recently, but the word gay is thrown around a lot and it isn't used as a compliment or a neutral adjective to describe someone's sexual orientation. No, it's used as an insult, and according to Stephen Toulouse, Xbox LIVE's head of policy and enforcement, it is used as an insult 98 percent of the time whether that be verbally or in someone's Gamertag.

Of course the issue of referring to one's sexuality in a Gamertag has come up a few times before, and as of right now it is against the rules to do so. "The overall policy we have today is that the expression of sexual orientation in a Gamertag or text field is not allowed," he told Kotaku yesterday before hosting a panel on the issue at EA. "That doesn't matter what the orientation is." Oh, really? That is funny because I had my text fields literally saying I was straight for about five months and heard nary a word for Microsoft. I guess they didn't get too many complaints on that one.

Still, Microsoft sees the issue with banning someone because of their sexual orientation and is hoping to change it by working with GLAAD and other groups to figure out a way that people can represent who they are without also allowing hate speech to overflow LIVE. "We recognize that the policy is not just that some communities feel like they are being targeted," he said. "Our challenge is how to (change the policy). We are working on that now."

It's good to hear that Microsoft is working on this as I don't believe the argument that people shouldn't express who they are just because it has to do with sexuality. The real issue however is the 98 percent of the time when the word gay (or worse) is thrown around as an insult or a negative term. I'm not proud to say that I use to do it too in order to describe things I didn't like and I know a plethora of Dtoiders who also do it -- Dtoiders who I would never label as homophobic. I'll just pose the question my freshman year roommate posed to me that got me to stop using gay as a negative adjective: "Why are you using gay as a synonym for bad? Do you think gay people are bad, evil or wrong?" 


Continue: More Xbox Live stories





prev
next 50 comments

61 comments | showing # 1 to 50

Oolong's Avatar
Oolong at 07/19/2009 08:08
I'd like to see a comparison between Live Europe and Live USA on this matter.
007's Avatar
007 at 07/19/2009 08:26
Can't we just make gay the official synonym for stupid, and not for homosexual? No? OK....
Warriorofworlds's Avatar
Warriorofworlds at 07/19/2009 08:32
I believe this is due to the fact that there are so many adolescents on Xbox Live. I will admit I have called other people "gay" out of blind rage but I find this too common. Im waiting for Microsoft to seperate the more Mature gamers from the immature ones. Sadly that will never happen.
Kvb's Avatar
Kvb at 07/19/2009 08:43
I'm surprised it's not higher. Who the hell has a serious discussion about sexual preference while playing a FPS online?
TheToiletDuck's Avatar
TheToiletDuck at 07/19/2009 09:02
98% of the time it works every time.
Ibutsu's Avatar
Ibutsu at 07/19/2009 09:04
Too many youngsters on XBL who think it makes them cool.
Wedge's Avatar
Wedge at 07/19/2009 09:05
The word is used more as a synonym for dumb or lame or stupid than the "actual" meaning nowadays. And hell it used to primarily mean happiness and joy and merriment. So maybe we can just have the primary meaning go on to being something else now. I don't really care, I'm a homo and use gay like that all the time. All this word fuss crap just annoys me.
The Young Scot's Avatar
The Young Scot at 07/19/2009 09:15
I think I'm going to start using the term "Straight" pejoratively on Xbox live, that'll really confuse those ignorant little gits.
Mr Melancholy's Avatar
Mr Melancholy at 07/19/2009 09:22
I had a gay old time on Xbox live yesterday.
BlackDove's Avatar
BlackDove at 07/19/2009 09:29
There should be a big pink button in options you can check if you're gay or not (male, female, gay, straight), and it should display under your username.

Also if you're black or white.

Democrat or republican.

Pizza or hamburger.
BS3 Owner's Avatar
BS3 Owner at 07/19/2009 09:30
LOL @ The Young Scot.

@ wedge

I think you got it down to a science.
That even Microsoft has not been able to decode.

They are worried about bombings at their Seattle HQ from ppl in SanFan. IMO.
CRAZYAPE69's Avatar
CRAZYAPE69 at 07/19/2009 09:30
@ Oolong. Trust me, its the same, we have little retarded kids saying 'faggot' and 'homo' all the time. Probably trying to be cool by copying the american infants on live.
atastysammich's Avatar
atastysammich at 07/19/2009 09:37
Maybe those Hotel Mario videos are really popular on Xbox Live?
Timmeh's Avatar
Timmeh at 07/19/2009 09:50
"...to figure out a way that people can represent who they are..."

Why? What relevance does it have to gaming? Xbox LIVE is not a dating system, it doesn't matter whether people are gay, straight or have sex with barn animals. I don't care, people use LIVE to play games.

The only thing Microsoft need to do is address the number of gutter mouthed idiots on their network.
Monodi's Avatar
Monodi at 07/19/2009 09:52
I'm going back to 56K Dramcast action like a motherfucker.
Cadtalfryn's Avatar
Cadtalfryn at 07/19/2009 10:04
14 year olds with headsets....
StriderS's Avatar
StriderS at 07/19/2009 10:07
Good thing gays can't afford LIVE. They might get offended.

Bad jokes aside, I think a lot of words will come up as used in a negative way. I'm pretty sure no one is using the word "Mom" in a positive way.
Chronic Logic's Avatar
Chronic Logic at 07/19/2009 10:09
I believe gay is bad, especially two guys gaying it up. The anus is a one way tunnel, do you know what happens when incoming traffic occurs in a one way tunnel? It ain't pretty.

GLAAD and the rest of these gay groups need to stop bitching. This is no different than saying other expletives or other insulting stuff people can say.
Ace Flibble's Avatar
Ace Flibble at 07/19/2009 10:10
Well, I'm an (executive) transvestite, I have a large number of gay, lesbian and bisexual friends and I've been to more gay and lesbian bars than ''regular'' bars. I am happy to admit that I and all of my gay friends use or have used 'gay' as an insult. Granted, not at the general public in Halo, but still. It's not because any of us think being gay is somehow wrong or bad (why would we given they are gay) - it's just the same as calling someone a bastard. You're not trying to claim the person is literally a bastard, it's just a generic insult you use to express you think the person is being a bit of a dick - which again, you're not trying to imply the person is a literal 6' high animated, sentient penis, it's just a phrase.
There's more to it than just saying the majority of people saying 'gay' are using it as an insult. How are they using it as an insult? Are they saying it jokingly? Is it to a friend or a stranger? Are they saying it while spitting in rage down their mics, or are they calm and having a laugh?
sickNasty's Avatar
sickNasty at 07/19/2009 10:21
What are they going to do about the people who say 'retard' pejoratively?

The fact of the matter is, when most people say words like 'gay' or 'retard' they aren't thinking of homosexuals or mentally handicapped people. These words have just become generic insults.

I've had black people on live call me 'nigga' I highly doubt they trying to insult their race in that instance.

People these days get way too upset about words. If you don't give the words power, then they have no affect on you.
whormongr's Avatar
whormongr at 07/19/2009 10:26
@Ace Flibble I absolutely agree- I mean I grew up in a gay household, 2 moms not dads and "gay" as a term like "that looks so gay" was never seen as anything bad though on the other hand where I grew up the main insult that was thrown around like nothing like this was "faggot", and there really is no non-aggressive way to say that any more than there is a polite way to drop the "N" bomb.
MJG's Avatar
MJG at 07/19/2009 10:58
Anyone who has spent time as a teenager in the past decade+ knows that calling someone or something "gay" has nothing to do with sexual orientation. Rather, it's a very common and completely generic put-down meaning "lame" or "stupid". I used it regularly in high school, as did most people I knew. And also like most people I knew, I stopped using it as I became an adult, as I began to realize the insensitivity behind it.

98% of the use of the word "gay" on Live may be in the negative sense, but I bet 98% of it is also being done by kids, 98% of which are not making any sort of homosexual connotation when they say it.
Drake00991's Avatar
Drake00991 at 07/19/2009 11:17
It's called the evolution of language, much like the word "n*gg*" (You have no idea how prideful I am about censorship, but considering you still view the word "gay" as something that is wrong and insulting you will no doubt view this as racism) now-in-days is used as a term to describe friendship, or "cuh" (Which means cousin in a "civilized" world), gay has stepped down from describing a form of emotion, to a form of sexual preference, to a form idiocy and noobness(I totally made this up). Just because the dictionary says it means something doesn't mean it's fact. It's all about intent!
John Johnson's Avatar
John Johnson at 07/19/2009 11:18
This is basically how I feel about this issue: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U-otAJrtY-w

Thank you, Louis CK.

I still feel sort of bad about slinging it around though
Volcanon's Avatar
Volcanon at 07/19/2009 11:23
I am guilty of using it too, but only because it is the perfect insult. It flows off the tongue like velvet and once it leaves my mouth it, along with a string of other obscenities, strikes the ear of that gay a$$ b@stard mother f*cking f****t piece of s**t that keeps spawn camping me! AAARRRGGGHHHH! Great, now I need a new controller...
BS3 Owner's Avatar
BS3 Owner at 07/19/2009 11:26
There needs to be addressing of the issue of Teabagging.
PPL playing Halo online started a whole new way to play your favorite games... The wrong way.

Now step up to the plate Microsoft no "crouching buttons" in Online Games! You heard it here first guys. Before Mums/Moms/GFs/Daughters/Women Activist Groups everywhere take offense!!!

/sarcasm
Solozaur's Avatar
Solozaur at 07/19/2009 11:26
Why are you using gay as a synonym for bad? Do you think gay people are bad, evil or wrong?"

I got nothing against gay people and I don't think they are evil (i do think they are wrong but that is just because i ain't gay so i can't think they got it right now do I?)As long as they keep their gayness at a normal level i got nothing against gay people, but as soon as you start dressing like a bird, doing gay parades and protest your gayness in my face i feel the need to smack you over the melon!

Do you see straight people doing parades? NO so do your gay shit but keep it at a normal level!
aaronf's Avatar
aaronf at 07/19/2009 11:49
Homophobia is directly proportional to secret homosexual urges:

http://www.mentalhelp.net/poc/view_doc.php?type=doc&id=29029&cn=10
Chronic Logic's Avatar
Chronic Logic at 07/19/2009 11:55
darn catch-22.
xe-cute's Avatar
xe-cute at 07/19/2009 11:58
If someone shouts "gay" at me I just respond with "why yes, after some bum fun my special friend?" as camp as I can (flame the fury).

But seriously, I never take it as an insult even though it is meant to be one. As in real life it is NOT an insult, Why should anyone care if someone thinks they are gay?

I think the Gay and the 'N' word, along with 'Jew', are the ones the kids love to throw about for some reason. I think it is directly related with there low level of I.Q. how many times they use each word when they are getting "PWNED" like the little "NOOB" they are.

BTW My best mate is Gay and I have no problems with it at all (I didn't even know he was for the 1st 6yrs I knew him as He is not camp at all - another failed stereotype).

All the clowns who "think it's wrong to be gay" are the same silly mentally retarded people that suffer from the mental illness called "religion". Get a life you mentally retarded clowns... who you trying to kid.. It's worse than LSD that crap.

Church of the flying spaghetti monster FTW!!!!!!oneoneoneeleventyonezzzz
xe-cute's Avatar
xe-cute at 07/19/2009 12:04
P.S. I'm dying for the day when "Christian" becomes a dirty word... all those silly Christians outnumbered because they are out of touch wtih fact, science and sexuality. It's only a matter of time until they are looked down upon for there mental illness (the same as ALL religions).
Waquan's Avatar
Waquan at 07/19/2009 12:06
Anyone who takes an offense to an acne-ridden 13-year-old calling them 'gay' needs to grow some balls.

Banning hate speech is a horrible idea, and while Microsoft is in the 'private' realm it STILL shouldn't bar on freedom of speech. I really don't see a difference between this and the 'idiot' name calling. After all, I'm sure there are plenty of Xbox Live users that fall in the 70-85 IQ range, and we all know that intelligence quotient, like sexual orientation, is not something which is mutable. I don't see 'border-line' Xbox Live users up in arms about 'retard' or 'idiot' or any of the other pejorative terms assigned to border-line (or lower) individuals.
box lobster's Avatar
box lobster at 07/19/2009 12:07
Oh Chronic Logic, could you go a gay-related post without being homophobic? Is that even a possibility for you?

Seriously, I'm always astonished by these posts wherein D-toiders, who seem to consider themselves a cut above other gaming forums riddled with douchebags, expose themselves as just a immature, vile, and homophobic as the people who make Live so fucking annoying. Guess what guys? You're just as bad.

Stop for a second and consider the most offensive thing you could hear. Now imagine hearing it every time you go online to relax and play a game. Now consider why defending or tolerating this behavior is so damn destructive.

It's not necessarily about right or wrong. It's not about your own opinion on homosexuality. It's an issue of respect on an incredibly basic level. Either you respect people or you don't. Either you use 'gay' negatively or call someone a faggot, or you don't.

You don't turn off your straightness when you turn on your gaming console, so why expect QGLBT gamers to do the same? I don't stop being a homosexual when I game. And that's why my sexuality is relevent. I don't stop being offended by homophobic assholes when I game, just as you don't suddenly become asexual when you game. You're still straight, I'm still gay, and that's relevant when we game.

I applaud places like GayGamer.net that truly offer a safe place for QGLBT gamers. It's not much to ask for a place where I don't see the word 'gay' used negatively or see the word 'faggot' thrown around with no regard to how it makes people feel. I only wish that sites like D-toid, which ironically considers itself a friend to GayGamer, would address homophobia among its own members and readers.
Sanious's Avatar
Sanious at 07/19/2009 12:12
@ Solozaur

Your comment is pretty ignorant in itself.

But, I think people are trying to downplay it a bit because 98% of the xbox live community aren't adolescents. It's an issue because there is a double standard here that you're not allowed to say that you are homosexual, but it's ok to be used an insult.

Calling someone gay as an insult has everything to do with the sexual orientation or else it would have never been used in the context that's it's being used in.

Microsoft brought this on themselves by banning people who were only expressing themselves and I see no problem with expressing yourself in a way that doesn't hurt anyone else. Declaring your orientation in your xbox live profile is not harming anyone but the ignorant.
Waquan's Avatar
Waquan at 07/19/2009 12:21
Honestly, though, I'm pretty sure this is just an attempt by homosexuals to rid us of the dumbasses on Xbox Live. Clever, but short-sighted at the same time...

I'm sure Microsoft will have some sort of quota so they don't lose too much money.
Dead Movie Star's Avatar
Dead Movie Star at 07/19/2009 12:32
"The overall policy we have today is that the expression of sexual orientation in a Gamertag or text field is not allowed."

But your drug of choice is perfectly okay? Or proclaiming that you smash skulls?

I see no reason why a gamertag like Killa420_P.S.homo should not be allowed.
protomark's Avatar
protomark at 07/19/2009 13:21
box lobster gets a high five.

It floors me when straight people say things like "i ain't got nothin' against gays but they should keep them shits to themselves" or "i don't use the word gay/fag in a homophobic way, so they should just grow some balls, man."

Can you imagine, for a second, the curiously aggressive use of homophobic slander on Xbox Live having everything to do with a substantial part of your identity? Have you been in that position or even considered what it would be like? If not... well, keep your trap shut? Cause, you don't know what you're talking about, really, and you can't realize how poorly a statistic like this reflects on the entire gamer culture. like box lobster said, it's about respect on a very basic level.
SonicTHP's Avatar
SonicTHP at 07/19/2009 13:25
Why not use words like that as insults? It's simple. There are simply better words for insulting a person than ones that have roots in the ignorance of sexual orientation, racial background, or those with physical or mental handicaps.

The English language has a number of other words without a similar history that could be used. I don't know anyone who is going to be impressed by my use of three and four letter word insults simply because I have neither the capacity nor the compassion to overcome baser instincts and insult my online opponents out of frustration.

As self-serving and pompous as it may sound, I simply want to hold myself to a higher standard than that.
Chronic Logic's Avatar
Chronic Logic at 07/19/2009 13:32
OBJECTION! How dare you accuse me of being homophobic?! I'm not a homophobe. I'm a SEXIST homophobe. I'm a hundred and ten percent friendly to lesbians, but gay men can GTFO.
ran24's Avatar
ran24 at 07/19/2009 13:33
It was used a lot back when we were in high school, when we didn't know better. It has stuck over the years as verbatim, and even though it's derogatory towards gays, old habits die hard.
Rabite's Avatar
Rabite at 07/19/2009 13:55
And this is yet another reason I traded in my headset that came with my 360. Also why I tend to avoid people with any sort of drug reference in their name. I find it irritating to deal with people anyway so I mostly stick to my friends list.
agentarsenic's Avatar
agentarsenic at 07/19/2009 14:49
When I'm called gay on Xbox Live I like to say "Yeah, and I'm going to fuck you" right before a nice headshot.
Tet's Avatar
Tet at 07/19/2009 14:55
Hey guys, haven't been here for awhile. How's it going? *reads violin backed sob stories from people who are fishing for a hug* See you later all.
Im OK's Avatar
Im OK at 07/19/2009 16:12
I avoid all this by never playing online games over Xbox Live. Go me.
Shoop's Avatar
Shoop at 07/19/2009 16:26
Hai guz i guess we cant uze the word bitch anymore cause thatz offenzive to wimmon amirite?
donkeykong's Avatar
donkeykong at 07/19/2009 17:16
I don't have an xbox and I don't know much about live. Lately though I've taken to a new kind of insult though. Let me show you how it works.

Imagine someone's being a douche. Call them a racist! They don't even have to be doing anything racist. Watch them get defensive and give yourself ten points.

Round two: someone just killed you as you were spawning? What a pedophile! Hey everyone, I just hacked this guy's computer and it was filled with childporn! some of it was even homemade. He rapes his own children! 200 points.

Round three: Angry for no reason at all? Struggling to get by in life without throwing the word "gay" around anymore? Try this one "did you just say you beat your girlfriend? Is that her crying in the back?"

So, as you can see, insulting gay people (even if you're doing it inadvertently because you don't realize how fucking ignorant you are, STOP TRYING TO JUSTIFY YOURSELF AND JUST CHANGE)... isn't the only way to survive on xbox live. I've just offered three new ways to insult people. And there's actually a lot of room for improvisation with my method. Instead of targeting a group of people who have, frankly, suffered enough, why not pick a group that truly deserves it? Call all your enemies gaybashers, racists, bigots, sexists or Quebecois. A new kind of flame war emerges.
MechaMonkey's Avatar
MechaMonkey at 07/19/2009 19:06
I'd like to know where this 98% statistic is coming from. Regardless of its accuracy, I can't see it being based on any real hard evidence. It's an entirely arbitrary number, as they aren't listening into everyone's Xbox LIVE voice chat conversations. Therefore, I can't find any rational way to justify Microsoft's policy of "out of sight, out of mind" based on that "statistic", as if hiding legitimate and respectful displays of homosexuality somehow solves the rash of intolerance across online gaming.
michaelb99's Avatar
michaelb99 at 07/19/2009 19:46
ps3: GAY FRIENDLY COMMUNITY?!?!?!?
Nogarda's Avatar
Nogarda at 07/19/2009 21:03
Wheres Captain Obvious when you need him.
trimbletoon's Avatar
trimbletoon at 07/19/2009 21:07
surely this 98% is 98% america, which is about 15 years behind the rest of the civilised world in these matters....
prev next 50 comments

Comment with Facebook





Click connect and comment instantly!

Comment with Dtoid





New? SIGN UP - it takes 5 seconds

Comments policy

Destructoid is an open discussion community. You don't need to "audition" to post a comment - just speak your mind. We respect differing opinions on the site, so have at it. Be smart, funny, insightful, clueless, or cute -- but back it up with substance. Keep your cool, keep it fun. We only ask that you act respectfully and above all: don't be a troll and ruin it for everyone else. Don't bring down gamers or we'll, you know, gently shoot you in the face and stuff you into a flaming mailbox. Each comment is your opportuntity to make this community awesomer. Is that even a word?

Avoiding the banhammer only requires common sense: spamming, trolling, racism, NSFW stuff, and other forms of sucking will not be tolerated. If anyone is griefing please report abuse. Be good. Don't suck!

 
New on Destructoid.TV play all videos

Loading
Loading Destructoid Videos




    Win this!
    Reminder: We're giving away six copies of Magnacarta 2!



    Dtoid Twitter    Got news?   tips@destructoid.com

    Reviews & Previews
    Mahjongg Artifacts 2 review
    Dragon Age: Origins review
    Lost Winds: The Winter of the Melodias review
    Osmos review
    Space Invaders Extreme 2 review
    Half-Minute Hero review
    JU-ON: The Grudge review
    Kenka Bancho: Badass Rumble review
    Thexder Neo review
    Domino Rally review
    more reviews
    PS3's 256-player MAG
    Rooms The Main Building
    Skate 3
    Hudson's bringing back the Bonk
    James Cameron's Avatar
    Bomberman Battlefest
    Calling
    Bad Company 2's multiplayer
    Partying like it's 1959 in BioShock 2's multiplayer
    BioShock 2 through the eyes of Big Daddy
    more previews


    - The Dtoid Army is 49606 strong -

    Showing Cblogs with 3+ faps   show all

    Call for entries: do the wrong thing

    New to Dtoid? Read the survival guide




     Originals
    Jim Sterling: How to respond to a videogame review





















    More Destructoid Originals




     Popular now more
























    Destructoid's editorial lovefest is:
    Nick Chester
    Editor-in-Chief
    Jim Sterling
    Reviews Editor
    Dale North
    News Editor
    Hamza Aziz
    Community Manager
    Anthony Burch
    Features Editor
    Rey Gutierrez
    Video editor & director
    Niero
    Founder, publisher
    Letters to the editors
    tips@destructoid.com
    Associate Editors
    Ashley Davis Jonathan Holmes
    Brad Nicholson Jonathan Ross
    Brad Rice Jordan Devore
    Chad Concelmo Matthew Razak
    Colette Bennett Tom Fronczak
    Conrad Zimmerman Topher Cantler
    Dyson Samit Sarkar
    Contributors
    Adam Dork
    Ben Perlee
    Daniel Lingen
    Joseph Leray
    Joe Burling
    Mikey
    Will Maddock
    Stella Wong





     

     
      get involved

    register or login
    post a blog
    post a forum
    enter a contest
    contribute a news tip
    suggest a feature
    be a guest editor
    support

    new member's guide
    login assistance
    tech support
    report abuse
    email our editors
    read our dev blog
    nuclear crisis?
    keep in touch

    RSS feed
    Twitter
    Facebook
    Myspace
    Flickr
    Game nights
    Meetup+play online
    seriously

    about Destructoid
    advertising
    terms of use
    privacy policy
    jobs at MM
    buy our crap
    our network

    Tomopop
    Japanator
    Despingation?




    Destructoid is an independently-run publication forged by our love of video games and the gaming community's need of accountable enthusiast press
    living the dream since March 16, 2006