"Dear Cosmo, I own every game ever made but am still a virgin. Help?"

4:57 AM on 06.12.2007   |   William Haley

45 comments

Via IGN's "Ultimate Setup" series, Nate Polston has revealed to the world his 900+ game collection, and 30+ console collection. Aww Dark Wizard and Sonic CD... You remind me of a time when life was easier and games were harder. The collector claims Panzer Dragoon Saga is the pride of his collection, and why shouldn't it be? That game was the bomb son, and don't nod your head in agreement because you know you've never played it. In case you're wondering, Nate is 23 years old, lives in Arkansas (probably with this guy), and will likely never know the touch of a woman.

I make fun, but only because on the inside I'm wishing I had all this guy's stuff. I wouldn't even do anything with it, I'd just like to have it in my basement, locked away like some sort of horrible secret that the kid across the street knows about but no one will believe him because "Timmy, I already told you monsters don't exist! You're just acting out because your father died." But Timmy isn't going to listen, is he?

[Thanks to Cody Skidmore for the tip. I don't have a joke for this one, the kid's name is "Skidmore", hasn't he been through enough?]